Surprise email from Supervisor

[Anonymous]

When the dust settles on this, OP, it would be great for you to find a mentor. Not a super senior person but a person who is maybe 4 years ahead of you, successful, well-liked by the supervisors. There’s absolutely no shame in the fact that reading the room might not be your strong suit. We all bring different things to the table. But a good mentor who is just a little bit ahead of you can help you out with this. Maybe come back to DCuM for guidance on how to find a mentor in a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

Who cares. Find a way to get to work and to your desk to do your work. Period.

Yes looks like no one cares. I was getting to work but on a different day. I did raise noise issue when no action was taken I found a quiter place in office to get work done. Wrong assumption on desk situation but not wrong intentions. I am very thankful to folks who gave good suggestions and tried to help. Grateful to all of them. Rest of the folks it good learning even in the bitterness I received from negative comments. God bless you all!

OP I don't know why people are piling on. You are in a shtty fed job with a "supervisor" and it's no surprise people want to treat you like a non-thinking automaton, especially the fed managers on here. If you were my employee, I would have measurable ways to check progress and would not be watching you in your chair. I'd be giving you the flexibility to succeed in your first few months. It's so gross that there are feds that just keep track of other people and not their own business. Sickening for taxpayers. They are probably all in the lunchroom eating nibbles of cake (just a taste) but they are gluten free...

How do you know that OP’s supervisor is not measuring his progress? His progress is very likely the real issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People's responses on here are nuts. People are reading way too much into the minor things OP has actually cited.

First, my impression is that OP is asking to change a single in-office day to a telework day. Not that this is a perpetual change. Or in addition to other WFH days. But that in one single week, s/he asked to change her typical [Tuesday] telework day to Thursday. This is a very reasonable request.

For those harping on OP to just come in early and figure it out.... that would presumably also require permission from a supervisor. Seems just as reasonable to request a single one time change. This is not a crazy request.

For the desk thing, I agree that OP should have been more clear in communication about this, and it appears that her supervisor believes s/he is not in the office for 8 hours a day. That is a problem. I believe OP is in the office for 8 hours a day doing work. If OP is young, this is a lesson that you will learn that you need to communicate that kind of stuff up front (and apparently in some offices, even ask for the permission). Fwiw, I am a super successful attorney in my 40s, and I remember doing something like this is my first summer internship - for a single afternoon, moving from my assigned crappy cubical that was essentially in a hallway to an extra desk in an area with a lot of other interns. My supervisor was pissed she couldn't find me (despite me having no substantive work to do). I learned my lesson. (I also learned I never wanted to be in a job where people are tracking you....)

If OP's supervisor is creating a paper trail, either they are very pissed about the desk thing *or* OP is underperforming in other aspects of his/her job.

But people, ease up off OP for some of this stuff. You're all acting like insane managers.

I agree with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

OP here that is absolutely correct. It was part of intake but I couldn’t find anything for my in office days for first 5 weeks. Now I am all set for future weeks.

Did you switch your in office day once, or once per week for the five weeks?

Don’t answer this OP. It doesn’t matter now. OP knows what he needs to do. I hope it works out for you!

It matters with respect to all the posts saying the supervisor is over the top to email OP with his own supervisor CCed for just a one-time request. If it was happening weekly for 5 weeks, that is a much bigger deal, and OP's job is much more at risk, especially if the OP's email request was unclear that the request was to switch days every week until parking was figured out and not just on that one day, and then in addition to that, on those days OP was actually in the office, he also wasn't at his desk, apparently not having let anyone know.

OP needs to count up all the days he was not at his desk for the full day on his scheduled in-office day and make note of that for his own records, in case the supervisor has their own notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

OP here that is absolutely correct. It was part of intake but I couldn’t find anything for my in office days for first 5 weeks. Now I am all set for future weeks.

Did you switch your in office day once, or once per week for the five weeks?

Don’t answer this OP. It doesn’t matter now. OP knows what he needs to do. I hope it works out for you!

It matters with respect to all the posts saying the supervisor is over the top to email OP with his own supervisor CCed for just a one-time request. If it was happening weekly for 5 weeks, that is a much bigger deal, and OP's job is much more at risk, especially if the OP's email request was unclear that the request was to switch days every week until parking was figured out and not just on that one day, and then in addition to that, on those days OP was actually in the office, he also wasn't at his desk, apparently not having let anyone know.

OP needs to count up all the days he was not at his desk for the full day on his scheduled in-office day and make note of that for his own records, in case the supervisor has their own notes.

This is actually good feedback. The supervisor may have a much larger paper trail than she realizes. It’s much harder to defend yourself when you’re not prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no. Yeah you can't tell your boss your neighbor is loud so you will be working from home. Doesn't work that way. Discuss the noise issue with your boss. I would definitely plan to be in the office on your assigned days (with a good headset).

I was in the office but in a different location not at my cube due to noise. Telework request is a different request.

Argumentative and defensive - things won’t go well with supe if you don’t change your attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

Oh, OP, you aren’t a problem solver are you? You think you are fixing things but you just don’t understand that being new means you keep quiet, do your work, pay attention to how things work. You accommodate them and once you’re established yourself as a good work, then you can slowly see about getting things changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl. Everyone has to deal with the crappy parking situation. That is not a good reason at all. It is making you out to be kind of a diva. The noise, the parking, everything bothers you. What did you do before? This does not seem like a great fit for you. Federal government is not glamorous or comfortable.

how do you know i am a girl. i could be a guy.

It’s DC Urban MOMS and people use the generic she here - it’s refreshing.

But you do sound like a dude - a whining, defensive, argumentative dude whose job is in peril.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

Who cares. Find a way to get to work and to your desk to do your work. Period.

Yes looks like no one cares. I was getting to work but on a different day. I did raise noise issue when no action was taken I found a quiter place in office to get work done. Wrong assumption on desk situation but not wrong intentions. I am very thankful to folks who gave good suggestions and tried to help. Grateful to all of them. Rest of the folks it good learning even in the bitterness I received from negative comments. God bless you all!

OP I don't know why people are piling on. You are in a shtty fed job with a "supervisor" and it's no surprise people want to treat you like a non-thinking automaton, especially the fed managers on here. If you were my employee, I would have measurable ways to check progress and would not be watching you in your chair. I'd be giving you the flexibility to succeed in your first few months. It's so gross that there are feds that just keep track of other people and not their own business. Sickening for taxpayers. They are probably all in the lunchroom eating nibbles of cake (just a taste) but they are gluten free...

Slightly off-topic, but as someone who reads DCUM but is not from DC area, I often find the concrete, black and white thinking and parenting on here really puzzling. Such an odd mix of high education and low cognitive flexibility. Now, with this thread, I am starting to understand! Sociologically, it's fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

Who cares. Find a way to get to work and to your desk to do your work. Period.

She did. She requested to modify her schedule to match the available parking and be more effective with her working day. That is a way, and a quite reasonable one.

The agency should have guest parking she could utilize until she is fully integrated, that is amateur hour.

Absolute nope if this is an HQ office in downtown DC. They assume most employees are taking public transportation and there are private garages within a few blocks if needed.

If the office is in some remote place, that's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

Oh, OP, you aren’t a problem solver are you? You think you are fixing things but you just don’t understand that being new means you keep quiet, do your work, pay attention to how things work. You accommodate them and once you’re established yourself as a good work, then you can slowly see about getting things changed.

OP literally solved the problem by offering to switch telework to a different day. Which is a totally logical thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He didn’t respond right away because he was talking to others (HR, his boss) about how to handle. They clearly told him to respond in writing. I would be very, very careful, OP. You are still on probation period, so getting a strong start should be your highest priority. Whatever it is that would keep you out of the office on a day you’re supposed to be in, you need to find a workaround. Good luck.

Jesus Christ, an employee wanting to switch one day in a week leads to THAT kind of response?

Right? God, I read the posts on this and other threads on this Jobs board, and I'm so thankful my agency and supervisors. They treat me with respect and humanity. And don't rely on arbitrary rules just b/c they can. New employees can also TW from day one.

I would not work anyplace that treated people like some of you think is ok to be treated by supervision. Not unless I had no other optiona and, even then, only until I found something better.

Yup. These responses are over the top and many are unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

OP here that is absolutely correct. It was part of intake but I couldn’t find anything for my in office days for first 5 weeks. Now I am all set for future weeks.

Did you switch your in office day once, or once per week for the five weeks?

Don’t answer this OP. It doesn’t matter now. OP knows what he needs to do. I hope it works out for you!

Why in earth shouldn’t OP answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

Oh, OP, you aren’t a problem solver are you? You think you are fixing things but you just don’t understand that being new means you keep quiet, do your work, pay attention to how things work. You accommodate them and once you’re established yourself as a good work, then you can slowly see about getting things changed.

OP literally solved the problem by offering to switch telework to a different day. Which is a totally logical thing to do.

Except that isn’t how it works in Op’s agency. Or she wouldn’t have received the email from her supervisor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am a new fed.

I was surprised to receive an email from my supervisor asking me not to change my telework days and spend a minimum eight hours a day in the office. I had notified him few weeks ago a situation that would prevent me to be on the office on a specific day I had suggested. an alternate day he never responded. After a few weeks. He sent an email copying my skip Level asking me to stick to my approved in person days only. I am very confused. Is this a disciplinary action? Why did he never speak to me or respond to my communication sent earlier and just sent me Written, communication adding my skip level. I thought i was keeping him informed it looks like something is amiss. I am anxious and confused. what should I do

Was it a one off re: telework day you were seeking permission to change or is it that you want a permanent, ongoing schedule change?

Them thinking you are not working 8 hours because you are not at your desk is a really unfortunate impression that has been created and one that will take time and consistency to correct. You need to understand you are asking permission to make changes, OP, not informing. They think you are playing fast and loose and are taking advantage. You need to correct that in words, in writing and in consistent action of being where you are supposed to be during agreed to hours. If you need a different work station make a proposal to your boss and get his/her decision.

The agency parking was full on the first few weeks of my in person day hence I requested a different day when parking was available. So one off request.

You young people. Get.there.earlier.use.public.transportation. Why is it so hard for you people to understand the world doesn’t revolve around your needs. Lol.

Our agency has a parking request queue which fills up months ahead of time. She may have started and not realized her in office days were already oversubscribed in parking. I doubt it was part of her intake briefing of current allocation.

Who cares. Find a way to get to work and to your desk to do your work. Period.

Yes looks like no one cares. I was getting to work but on a different day. I did raise noise issue when no action was taken I found a quiter place in office to get work done. Wrong assumption on desk situation but not wrong intentions. I am very thankful to folks who gave good suggestions and tried to help. Grateful to all of them. Rest of the folks it good learning even in the bitterness I received from negative comments. God bless you all!

OP I don't know why people are piling on. You are in a shtty fed job with a "supervisor" and it's no surprise people want to treat you like a non-thinking automaton, especially the fed managers on here. If you were my employee, I would have measurable ways to check progress and would not be watching you in your chair. I'd be giving you the flexibility to succeed in your first few months. It's so gross that there are feds that just keep track of other people and not their own business. Sickening for taxpayers. They are probably all in the lunchroom eating nibbles of cake (just a taste) but they are gluten free...

Slightly off-topic, but as someone who reads DCUM but is not from DC area, I often find the concrete, black and white thinking and parenting on here really puzzling. Such an odd mix of high education and low cognitive flexibility. Now, with this thread, I am starting to understand! Sociologically, it's fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.

Very interesting meta-analysis of this thread and DCUM, and I could not agree more! It is very odd and off-putting profile: non-creative, extremely risk-averse, formulaic, status-obsessed, rigid and often highly educated.