Dated for 2 months, didn’t work out. Now…we’re expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

You know nothing about Ithe agony of relinquishing a child for adoption. Of course you are thinking of the dream scenario for adopters. But what does a child feel when she finds out that her mother was healthy and capable but just didn't want her? What does a woman feel when she carries a pregnancy to term but can't be in contact with her child or be sure she is okay?

You also completely discount the fact that pregnancy and childbirth change a woman's body in major ways, sometimes debilitating ways. A friend of mine has severe vaginal prolapse. I had pre-eclampsia and now have cardiac issues.

Terminating a pregnancy is a much safer and less painful option if the pregnant woman does not want to be a mother.

Didn’t want is very different than could not raise at that time.

Often adoption is the must mature and selfless decision a person can make.

OP says both of the parents are financially stable and could reasonably raise a child. So no, this isn't a case of "could not raise at the time;" if OP gives the kid up to satisfy some weird DCUM 'ooooohh a healthy college-educated birth mom, that's what I wanted' fantasy, then the kid would find out later that her parents just didn't want her, not that they couldn't raise her.

Do you not see how this makes it even more clear that she should have the baby instead of abort it? Your logical reasoning makes no sense. It’s cruel to the child to be raised by someone else because OP could care for it but simply doesn’t want it. It’s ______ to the child to be aborted because OP could care for it but simply doesn’t want it?

No, because the only potential cruelty is to the existing kid who grows up to wonder "why was I put up for adoption". Now follow the logic, if you can.

Anyway, the OP is a troll who has never returned after asking for advice, and then additional trolls jumped on (this is my forty-third abortion, what is a condom??), and now this thread is ridiculous.

Wrong. Cruelty is not just something to be borne passively (in the case of the child), it is also an action executed on another by a moral agent. The moral agent in this scenario is doing the same thing in both cases, only in one outcome the child ends up with loving strangers and the other outcome the child is dead.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering what abortion would you guys decide surgical or medical?

[Anonymous]

No matter what side of the abortion debate you’re on, please don’t speak for us adoptees unless you happen to be one yourself.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Food for thought and beautifully written, good questions in Cheryl Strayed’s reply:

https://therumpus.net/2011/04/21/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-71-the-ghost-ship-that-didnt-carry-us/

Best of luck whatever you decide, OP

[Anonymous]

This thread is a troll

It's pro life crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

You know nothing about Ithe agony of relinquishing a child for adoption. Of course you are thinking of the dream scenario for adopters. But what does a child feel when she finds out that her mother was healthy and capable but just didn't want her? What does a woman feel when she carries a pregnancy to term but can't be in contact with her child or be sure she is okay?

You also completely discount the fact that pregnancy and childbirth change a woman's body in major ways, sometimes debilitating ways. A friend of mine has severe vaginal prolapse. I had pre-eclampsia and now have cardiac issues.

Terminating a pregnancy is a much safer and less painful option if the pregnant woman does not want to be a mother.

Didn’t want is very different than could not raise at that time.

Often adoption is the must mature and selfless decision a person can make.

OP says both of the parents are financially stable and could reasonably raise a child. So no, this isn't a case of "could not raise at the time;" if OP gives the kid up to satisfy some weird DCUM 'ooooohh a healthy college-educated birth mom, that's what I wanted' fantasy, then the kid would find out later that her parents just didn't want her, not that they couldn't raise her.

Do you not see how this makes it even more clear that she should have the baby instead of abort it? Your logical reasoning makes no sense. It’s cruel to the child to be raised by someone else because OP could care for it but simply doesn’t want it. It’s ______ to the child to be aborted because OP could care for it but simply doesn’t want it?

No, because the only potential cruelty is to the existing kid who grows up to wonder "why was I put up for adoption". Now follow the logic, if you can.

Anyway, the OP is a troll who has never returned after asking for advice, and then additional trolls jumped on (this is my forty-third abortion, what is a condom??), and now this thread is ridiculous.

Wrong. Cruelty is not just something to be borne passively (in the case of the child), it is also an action executed on another by a moral agent. The moral agent in this scenario is doing the same thing in both cases, only in one outcome the child ends up with loving strangers and the other outcome the child is dead.

Try again.

How many adopted kids have horrible lives? Many.

And learn science you are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.

I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child.

You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!?

Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

I agree she needs to be steralized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

I agree she needs to be steralized.

You need to learn to spell before you recommend sterilization for others.

[Anonymous]

If you are over 25, keep the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.

I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child.

You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!?

Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!!

I'm sorry you have so much trauma from your abortion. I imagine you are thinking about it more as you reach the end of your reproductive years and wondering what might have been. I really wish you healing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.

Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.

I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child.

You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!?

Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!!

I'm sorry you have so much trauma from your abortion. I imagine you are thinking about it more as you reach the end of your reproductive years and wondering what might have been. I really wish you healing.

DP, but she said she's never had an unwanted pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

I am having my 3rd abortion next week.