Gift cards to teachers. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

The room parents keep track of who does and doesn’t contribute to the class gift and talk about it. You get a reputation if you don’t contribute to the class gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teacher, I really appreciated these because my salary was very low and many of our families were quite wealthy and could afford to send a gift at the holidays. It is a token of appreciation for hard work. For example, taking a week long trip with my students for no extra compensation that involved camping, driving hours to another state, and cleaning up vomit when kids got sick from stomach flu.

Bull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not give shit to my teachers.

Well, yeah… that’d be gross.

What’s gross about not giving gifts to teachers?

This is the real reason why so many people feel compelled to do it, even if they don’t really want to. They feel like they will be judged as “gross” cheap, uncaring, unappreciative, etc.
Most people are giving out the perceived peer pressure to constantly give and “be generous”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers buy a lot for their classrooms and do a lot to take care of kids whose parents don’t send them with proper supplies. I don’t think that Teachers should pay out of their pockets and I know that the schools are not giving them the money for the supplies that they buy. I am comfortable chipping in $25 at winter break and the end of the year to help defer costs. And if some of that ends up paying for a personal splurge, great. My kid has had a good experience at school and I don’t have a problem with spoiling his Teachers a bit.

I get not every parent can contribute which is why I like class gifts. The Teachers don’t need to know who chipped in and who didn’t.

This is true but here (Arlington) the teachers who spend the most get the least. Basically if you work in a school north of rat 50, you’re getting hundreds of dollars multiple times a year (holidays, teacher appreciation, one year also a baby shower). If you work in a less affluent neighborhood you maybe make $20. That doesn’t sit right with me. I think there should be a limit on how much public employees can accept. I can only give my mailman $5 but we can give our teacher $500? Growing up my mom was a teacher and I’m pretty sure she couldn’t accept gifts over $25. Yes, she got a lot of mugs and notepads, but I remember all the kids working to choose the gift; these days I just Venmo the money no my kids could care less.

The limit in Arlington is $100 per family/year

I actually like small gifts more than gift cards. When I get mugs I use them at work (put extras in the community cabinet) useful gifts I’ve been given are pens, notepads, umbrellas, gloves, plants. All things I can leave at work to make my space a little nicer.

I have worked at wealthy and Title I schools. I find that non-European immigrants tend to be the biggest givers of actual gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

The room parents keep track of who does and doesn’t contribute to the class gift and talk about it. You get a reputation if you don’t contribute to the class gift.

Why would anyone care about that? I do my own thing for the teachers. And given how little they get, clearly not everyone is donating, its a waste of hot air what they spend their time gossiping about.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, the school paid for everything (supplies, copier paper, tissues) and paid the teachers a good salary. This was in the NYC area where budgets were voted on by town, and ours was very high. In this area, if you are a single person, the salary isn’t enough to live close by in many cases, and the school provides nothing. You have so many standards to teach to that you have so much admin to take care of. Private schools seem ritzy, but they usually pay teachers less than public schools.

I don’t want my kid’s teachers to be paying out of pocket for anything when I make at least 2-3 times what they do. I send Amazon or Target cards so they can use them for whatever they want - classroom supplies, groceries, or something for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the different views. I hope all of you who defend buying the gift cards also make sure your kids are thankful for their teachers and make them cards, arts and craft etc. By making your kids work and think of why they are thankful, you make sure they respect the teachers the remaining 364 days a year. I saw some very rich and very disrespectful kids in my kids’ classes over the years. Kids literally ordering the teachers around. I am sure those parents give the teachers nice gift cards and I highly doubt those kids spend time doing something nice for those teachers they treat so disrespectfully.

As I mentioned, my kids are in private schools and I highly doubt the teachers pay for any supply. My kids have more than they could ever use and in my eldest we actually buy her supplies at the beginning of the year (on top of the $53k for tuition). But if teachers do pay for anything out of pockets, then I absolutely agree that parents should reimburse them one way or another.

I think my plan moving forward will be to perhaps buy a gift with a gift receipt and keep making my kids write nice cards and choose small gifts for their teachers when we travel.

Despite people telling you most teachers probably don't want that stuff. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it makes some parents feel in a superior position (subconsciously of course).

But I agree, it’s a cultural difference in the end. For us teachers are professionals and not our paid employees. I would be offended in the teacher’s place and I am sure the teachers from my country would too. Americans teachers perhaps do not feel offended because it’s a given nowadays and they are practicals and parents like the position of feeling like they are able to help the poor teachers.

I think a thank you card made by the student is much more appropriate or a small gift we bring back from our travelings to show we thought of them and what they might enjoy.

Honestly, the teacher may not want a small gift from your travels. What are they going to do with it?

Op a gift cards is better. Imagine the collection of trinkets and coffee cups some teachers have.

for awhile it was candles. My dear teacher friend had 72 candles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

The room parents keep track of who does and doesn’t contribute to the class gift and talk about it. You get a reputation if you don’t contribute to the class gift.

that’s ok bc we are keeping track of how poorly they are wasting our funds. One year the room mom bought a spa overnight hotel stay for the teacher and her spouse. She blew all the money by December by doing this and then begged for more money to carry the class through Jan-June. They needed more money to cover the Valentines party and end of year party and appreciation gifts. No budget is ever seen on how this money is being spent. This year they are asking for $80-100 per family. This is a lot of money to have as a slush fund with no reports or accountability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

The room parents keep track of who does and doesn’t contribute to the class gift and talk about it. You get a reputation if you don’t contribute to the class gift.

that’s ok bc we are keeping track of how poorly they are wasting our funds. One year the room mom bought a spa overnight hotel stay for the teacher and her spouse. She blew all the money by December by doing this and then begged for more money to carry the class through Jan-June. They needed more money to cover the Valentines party and end of year party and appreciation gifts. No budget is ever seen on how this money is being spent. This year they are asking for $80-100 per family. This is a lot of money to have as a slush fund with no reports or accountability.

Begged for more money to “carry
The class” to what exactly? Classrooms don’t even need a room mom, and they certainly don’t need a room mom raising money. The whole thing is frivolous an optional. So there isn’t a valentine party extras budget? Big whoop

[Anonymous]

I guess it is part of OP’s cullllllttuuuurrrrreee to whine about completely optional things she doesn’t have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

That is not why I am asking. I am not complaining. I only seek to understand the reasons behind this American tradition.

America is a tipping culture. These are basically holiday tips. It’s not that deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

That is not why I am asking. I am not complaining. I only seek to understand the reasons behind this American tradition.

America is a tipping culture. These are basically holiday tips. It’s not that deep.

+1

Which country are you from, OP? I’m sure there are cultural differences that seem strange to most Americans.

Like said above, the US has a tipping culture. You really didn’t know? It isn’t that hard to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to start saying that I am not American and grew up in Europe. My kids go to private schools and we have been giving gift cards ($25-100) per teacher every year.

I am trying to understand why we do this. I do it because of peer pressure. All other parents/kids bring gift cards and I don’t want my kids to be the only ones that do not.

Why do other people in American do this? We have never done this in my home country. I think teachers (who are professionals) would be offended to receive a gift card.

I think a special gift or a home made card would be nice to show appreciation… money is offensive in my opinion. It seems to come from a “thanking the help” place and not a nice genuine desire to thank these professionals that teach our children.

Please don’t say that I don’t have to. I feel compelled to when everyone else does it.

Grow a spine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So don't! I promise you, absolutely no one is keeping score. I taught for many many years, and the majority of families didn't give or the room parent would organize one class wide gift and I had no idea who did/didn't contribute. Please don't give out of a sense of obligation.

If only we could ignore these feelings but there is a lot of pressure. And to do it at this time of year makes me insane. I already am stretched financially.

“We” can. You’re an adult. Act like one.