We are broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a job. Any job. My husband works at Trader Joe’s and makes good money.

How much can you make at Trader Joe’s? Do you need to paint your hair to work there?

So rude. People who have credit card debt and broken windows don’t really get to be choosy do they?

[Anonymous]

Kids in diff school and various after school activities are optional, we make a lot of money and we don’t do any of that. Our kids go to same public school and may do an activity at the community center when we can. Sounds like you are not broke enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids in diff school and various after school activities are optional, we make a lot of money and we don’t do any of that. Our kids go to same public school and may do an activity at the community center when we can. Sounds like you are not broke enough.

Agree. Broke people don’t use private preschool and paid after school activities. Would also love to know what phone/phone plan OP has and what cars they drive.

[Anonymous]

I'll pile on with the just get a job. Better yet, go back to teaching even if it's not your ideal job. You need to think about what works for your family. The hours and commute probably align better with your kids schedules than other options, schools need teachers so you should be able to find something, and aren't the benefits decent?

We were in a similar situation to yours when our 3 kids were little. They don't need many extra activities - my kids are grown now and don't even remember most of the extras they did. Activities like scouting don't cost a lot if you want something for them. I'll add that once I went back to work, the reduction in stress from not worrying about money was huge and outweighed the negatives. Also - your expenses are only going to increase as your kids get older.

[Anonymous]

Your situation and circumstance is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your situation and circumstance is the norm.

I think it’s pretty normal too. But DCUM isn’t normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my kids are in different schools bc I have preschool and elementary aged kids. 2 more years until they’re all in elementary. Pre kids I was a public school teacher in a different city. I have a masters degree. I have no interest in returning to teaching. I will do anything work wise but I’m reluctant to take a job with strict hours. My husband has zero leave left after our year from h3ll. Happy to do some household repairs myself (like painting) but can’t replace the two broken windows on my own.

We don’t always get what we want. You have the ability to teach, plenty of people do jobs they don’t like out of necessity. Get a teaching job and put the kids in after school care. In the meantime, sub.

This. You don't like your job? There's a club for that. Its called "Everybody" and they meet at the bar. Or be broke and in debt. Your call.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. The ring was $50k new over 20 years ago. No idea what it’s worth now. I was hoping for $20k but maybe that’s optimistic. We live in a small old house in a desirable close-in suburb. I do the cleaning and the yard work myself. We drive old cars and don’t take vacations. 4 kids. Oldest is 7. I think most assume we’re the smart, frugal types. When, in actuality, we’re just barely making ends meet these days. It wasn’t always this way. We had an incredibly difficult year. Our current after-school activities are cheap, nothing fancy. Christmas is going to be very different.

I will not pull my kid out of preschool. Routine and socialization are extremely important. I’ll get back to work asap. Spent all morning working on my resume and applications. Thanks for the encouragement.

[Anonymous]

With a $50k ring, I wonder whether your spouse has a spending problem in the mix. Sorry either way. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a $50k ring, I wonder whether your spouse has a spending problem in the mix. Sorry either way. Good luck.

I wonder if their income has gone down significantly. Someone who drops 50k on a ring at least in my mind is making a serious amount of money a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the special needs therapies yourself. They aren’t rocket science. Many home repairs can be done yourself. All clothes shopping from thrift stores. GL!

That's really stupid advice

[Anonymous]

You’ve been married for 20 years but have a preschooler? Why did you pay so much for a ring to be poor now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re a single income family too and money is tight with a third on the way. Is your preschooler the one with autism (and therefore in the PAC program)? I know the PAC hours are a little irregular, which may make it difficult working a real part time job. Uber eats or being an Instacart shopper may work since the hours are flexible.

If I didn’t have money to fix a broken window in my house, I would pull my kids out of any afterschool activities that weren’t free or super cheap. I would also join your local Buy Nothing group and get all your kids clothes/toys/Christmas presents from there. You can probably get some food/kitchen ware/clothes for you too on the Buy Nothing Group.

If you have expensive cell phone and cable, those are things you can cut. Get a Roku instead and use flip phones or prepaid phones.

This is very actionable advice. Also, what kind of support system do you have with local family/friends, OP? Do any of them have skills to say, fix some windows? Is there anyone who could help make Christmas a little more magical for your kids. I'm pretty bootstrapp-y and independent, yet no stranger to some past challenging times and would've definitely asked for help with my kids, if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

Four kids under 7 is a lot! And if one has special needs, and they tend to get sick a lot, I can imagine it is hard to work.

I’ll just list some ideas and maybe something will help:
1. Google to learn how to fix windows yourself. I think you can take them down, take them to s glass shop and have the glass fitted.
2. Places to cut expenses:
A. Insurance - call and compare car insurance. You don’t have to wait until your renewal date.
B. Cancel subscriptions and cut down on cable/ entertainment subscriptions.
C. Is your income low? You may qualify for Wic, children’s health, social security for your disabled child, home heating assistance.
D. Google to see if there are low interest government loans or grants for home repairs. They exist in Maryland.
E. Cut down on utilities: lower your hot water temperature, lower your heat.
F. Re-evaluate your phone plan. Mint is running a sale for $15/ month.
G. Google Share Food Network. It’s run through Catholic Charities. You buy bags of set groceries at a reduced price.
H. As far as therapy, some universities have their students do therapy at a reduced price and it’s excellent. Call around. University of Maryland has a preschool for kids with language disabilities that is much lower cost than private and gives their students practice.


As far as work:
A. Could you clean houses? I know you have college degrees, but it pays well and has flexible hours.
B. Another idea, if you were to tutor, is to hire a babysitter for those hours.

[Anonymous]

1. Sell house and move to more affordable area.
2. Whether you move or not, look at USAJOBS for a remote government job where you don’t have to go to an office. Ask whether they have flexible hours such that as long as you work an 8 hr day they don’t care when during the day/night you work or whether your day is broken up. You may have to start out low —GS-5 — but try to get a ladder job where you move up a GS level every year.