Is Arlington the Best Place to Live in the DC Area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you both work from home, WTH are you moving to the DC area?!

I live in Arlington and enjoy it (most of the time), but if both of our jobs became permanently remote, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat and move someplace cheaper.

OP here. We were looking at many different urban areas, and this seems to be the best one where you can get a house with a yard just a short drive from world-class arts & culture. We also looked at a couple big southern cities, but the weather there was a bit offputting, I like the idea of 4 seasons and not having to be indoors all summer.

Honestly, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you should reconsider the DC area. The cost of living here is tremendously high in every way, not just housing. Summer camps, VA car taxes, parking, home improvement projects, literally everything costs more than most of the rest of the country. A lot of folks live here because this is where their job is.

Do you have family nearby that is drawing you to DC? You talk about world class arts and culture, but how often are you actually going to go to museums, lectures, fancy restaurants, etc? What other cities were you considering?

[Anonymous]

Gotta love the posts that talk about embracing diversity while bashing places as too white.

[Anonymous]

OP, based on your more recent posts about not having a commute b/c you work from home, not wanting a rat race, and wanting some diversity, I’m going to throw out City of Fairfax as a recommendation (this is separate from, but in the midst of, Fairfax County).

There is a cute (albeit small) downtown area with local restaurants, a nice coffee shop (De Clieu), some small breweries and a craft beer place (High Side), plus local festivals. It is geographically pretty small with its own little government, schools, and transit system, so it has a bit of a small town feel (parts of which are walkable). But you’re still within a mile or so of a metro station, close to major roads/hospitals/etc., not far from Mosaic District, Falls Church City, Vienna, etc.

It’s just a bit outside the beltway. Maybe not great for a daily commute to DC, but plenty close for going into the city for sports games, dinners, etc. The schools are a bit more diverse and don’t have the rat race reputation of other areas you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I live in Arlington, in 2 million dollar plus home (not bragging, just to let you know it’s a nice house) and I wouldn’t live in this area if I didn’t have to. I’d much prefer outside of Boston.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Arlington and honestly it's a crapshoot on what neighborhood you fall into. Some neighborhoods in 22205 are better than 2207 and vice versa. Same with different parts of south arlington. Some days I love our neighborhood, other days I dislike and feel like it's a rat race. The benefits: kids walk to school, can walk to pre-teen/teen hang out places, once my kids get their license, we won't have to worry AS MUCH about them driving on major high ways, back roads, etc. I DO NOT love our schools especially after what Arlington County pulled during the pandemic. My son has ADHD and my other son has dyslexia and I am ALWAYS fighting and advocating for them. We are seriously considering private school next year for them because they have lost a year and the county seems to be doing nothing to meet them where they're at. If I had to do it all over again, I would probably choose Vienna or certain pockets of Falls Church.

OP here. We are hoping to live in a diverse neighborhood (both socioeconomically and racially mixed). I don't want it to be like a rat race. We don't want the top-rated schools, because those are too white and wealthy (and I get that your calculus is different because you have to think about accommodations for learning differences - our kids are neurotypical so it's less of a concern for us). What neighborhoods would you recommend?

Welp. That's the whole area, not just Arlington.

OP, I highly recommend you rethink moving to the DC area if you don't want to live in a place that's like a rat race. This area is highly-competitive and pretty stressful, and I say that as someone who is from here and loves it. But that's the reality and from what you say, I'm not sure you'll like it. Have you spent any significant time here? I really recommend you do so if you haven't already.

OP here, I guess I am just hoping if we go to those bad schools that everyone seems afraid of, we'll avoid the competitive and stressful vibe? We tried living in a more chill place but we're really unhappy not being right by a big city.

On that note, will someone please clarify what "bad school" means??? Like they're very violent or something? Even at the elementary/middle level? Or it's bad in the sense that it has poor kids so the test scores aren't high?

Arlington School parent here. I think when people are saying "bad schools" and talking about Arlington, they're saying that since they're not the best in the area/state, they're bad. I'm just one data point, so grain of salt, but that doesn't really jive with my experience. My kids are middle of the road, neurotypical kids. They seem reasonably well prepared for school and life without a lot of intervention from me. They're not going to Ivies, and that's fine with me.

I do think that APS sucked in their response to the pandemic, but I think this area gets a lot of pressure from crazy parents/people who create noise and make decision-making difficult.

+1 No, the schools are not violent. My kids (now in HS) have had good teachers, good friends, plenty of resources, and seem appropriately challenged. From friends' stories more of the competitive/stressful stuff is in the more uniformly affluent schools farther north.

Some of the "bad schools" perceptions are because of low Great Schools scores but a lot of that is because GS changed their scoring to essentially penalize schools that have SES diversity and low-income students do not score as well as high-income (which is the case everywhere and IMO not the schools' fault). Some of the actual "bad" practices IMO are an emphasis on computer games (kids get their own iPads starting in 2nd grade) and, until recently, use of Lucy Calkins for reading. They are supposed to be dropping that in favor of actual phonics instruction. The county also grew very rapidly in the recent past so there were a lot of overcrowded schools. The ES situation has been relieved somewhat but there are still needed boundary adjustments. And, HS overcrowded is a mostly unaddressed issue, they basically decided to put an annex on W-L and it will be like 3000+ students. Handling growth is a big challenge because space for expansion/new buildings is extremely limited. Boundary changes are always fraught but I think that's probably the case in most areas. And, some people don't like the lack of a dedicated gifted program/track, although I think that tends to weed out some of the more intense/competitive parents who go to Fairfax for that.

As PPs have said, your best bet is likely in the middle of the county, where the schools tend to have a better SES mix (Ashwlawn and Long Branch have been mentioned but I'd also add Fleet, Abingdon, Oakridge)

Thank you, this is so helpful!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, based on your more recent posts about not having a commute b/c you work from home, not wanting a rat race, and wanting some diversity, I’m going to throw out City of Fairfax as a recommendation (this is separate from, but in the midst of, Fairfax County).

There is a cute (albeit small) downtown area with local restaurants, a nice coffee shop (De Clieu), some small breweries and a craft beer place (High Side), plus local festivals. It is geographically pretty small with its own little government, schools, and transit system, so it has a bit of a small town feel (parts of which are walkable). But you’re still within a mile or so of a metro station, close to major roads/hospitals/etc., not far from Mosaic District, Falls Church City, Vienna, etc.

It’s just a bit outside the beltway. Maybe not great for a daily commute to DC, but plenty close for going into the city for sports games, dinners, etc. The schools are a bit more diverse and don’t have the rat race reputation of other areas you mentioned.

We will definitely look there, it wasn't on my radar at all. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here it comes, OP. 14 pages of people telling you that Arlington SUCKS and place XYZ is far superior.

FWIW, I live in the Westover part of Arlington and I really like it. I've also lived in Shirlington and Ballston. I liked those spots too. It's expensive because it's the closest place to DC. Some of the neighborhoods are ugly and people say that the schools are going downhill, but I think people just like to complain or rationalize expensive decisions they've already made.

Best of luck!

The schools have never been great and yes it's ugly and full of strip malls.

Quelle Horreur! A strip mall!

That strip mall has my District Taco in it. Watch yourself.

I lived in that neighborhood (Tara-Leeway) for several years and I think Westover is super cute and charming (we spent a lot of time at the beer garden and Lost Dog) but the Lee-Harrison area is kind of depressing (although I did love District Taco and Taqueria Pablano, LOL). That said, we are an inter-racial couple and I couldn't help but notice I was frequently one of the, if not THE, only minorities pretty much everywhere we went (except for people working in restaurants). I grew up being one of two minority children in my grade K-12 and I didn't want my children to be subjected to that life, so we moved a little further out to Fairfax County and the difference in amount of diversity is unreal! My kids go to a highly rated ES that is minority white and it makes me really happy!! I understand that this may not be your concern if you are not a minority or married to a minority, but it was really important for us for our child to not be surrounded by one homogenous group of people, so we moved out of north arlington when we had kids. Arlington is really nice, and very convenient if you work in DC, but definitely not diverse.*

*Note that south arlington is far more diverse than the northern half of the county but it's mostly hispanic, whereas fairfax county ALSO has really large asian, south asian, african, and middle eastern communities.

This must have been particularly galling for you because Arlington has been encouraging the fast gentrification of the nearby Halls Hill and High View Park, a long time African American community. Twenty five years ago you could have sent your bi-racial children to the majority African American Glebe ES but now it is a segregated white school like all North Arlington elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you both work from home, WTH are you moving to the DC area?!

I live in Arlington and enjoy it (most of the time), but if both of our jobs became permanently remote, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat and move someplace cheaper.

OP here. We were looking at many different urban areas, and this seems to be the best one where you can get a house with a yard just a short drive from world-class arts & culture. We also looked at a couple big southern cities, but the weather there was a bit offputting, I like the idea of 4 seasons and not having to be indoors all summer.

Honestly, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you should reconsider the DC area. The cost of living here is tremendously high in every way, not just housing. Summer camps, VA car taxes, parking, home improvement projects, literally everything costs more than most of the rest of the country. A lot of folks live here because this is where their job is.

Do you have family nearby that is drawing you to DC? You talk about world class arts and culture, but how often are you actually going to go to museums, lectures, fancy restaurants, etc? What other cities were you considering?

I am not offended! I really want to think this through, so I appreciate the feedback. Living in cities, we would be going to museums and exhibits every weekend, trying a new restaurant every weekend, exploring a new neighborhood or area, etc. Even with the kids. Moving to the suburbs was really hard. We tried for several years to get used to the suburban life but it's just not for us.

We looked at New York, but the close-in suburbs are either too suburban/not walkable or too white/rich or both. And taxes are high.
Philadelphia - the close-in suburbs are really white/rich.
Boston - I guess Cambridge is the "urban suburb" there, and it's nice and walkable but more expensive than DMV area and I didn't really find diversity there, one of those places with a lot of BLM signs and few Black people.
Houston - horrible weather for like 4-5 months of the year, too many guns, and houses in the close-in, walkable areas cost almost as much as DMV
San Francisco - high taxes, very expensive, homelessness and looting, fires and earthquakes
LA - kind of like SF with less looting and more scary traffic.
Chicago - partner vetoed because it's too cold.

I have lived in most of the cities above and extensively visited the others, and also spoke to people living there, so I know I'm stereotyping a bit, but I don't think I'm too far off.

And I know we are being picky and most people just choose an apartment/condo in a city or a house in the suburbs, and I'm a privileged brat to want both, but you only live once

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you both work from home, WTH are you moving to the DC area?!

I live in Arlington and enjoy it (most of the time), but if both of our jobs became permanently remote, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat and move someplace cheaper.

OP here. We were looking at many different urban areas, and this seems to be the best one where you can get a house with a yard just a short drive from world-class arts & culture. We also looked at a couple big southern cities, but the weather there was a bit offputting, I like the idea of 4 seasons and not having to be indoors all summer.

Honestly, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you should reconsider the DC area. The cost of living here is tremendously high in every way, not just housing. Summer camps, VA car taxes, parking, home improvement projects, literally everything costs more than most of the rest of the country. A lot of folks live here because this is where their job is.

Do you have family nearby that is drawing you to DC? You talk about world class arts and culture, but how often are you actually going to go to museums, lectures, fancy restaurants, etc? What other cities were you considering?

I am not offended! I really want to think this through, so I appreciate the feedback. Living in cities, we would be going to museums and exhibits every weekend, trying a new restaurant every weekend, exploring a new neighborhood or area, etc. Even with the kids. Moving to the suburbs was really hard. We tried for several years to get used to the suburban life but it's just not for us.

We looked at New York, but the close-in suburbs are either too suburban/not walkable or too white/rich or both. And taxes are high.
Philadelphia - the close-in suburbs are really white/rich.
Boston - I guess Cambridge is the "urban suburb" there, and it's nice and walkable but more expensive than DMV area and I didn't really find diversity there, one of those places with a lot of BLM signs and few Black people.
Houston - horrible weather for like 4-5 months of the year, too many guns, and houses in the close-in, walkable areas cost almost as much as DMV
San Francisco - high taxes, very expensive, homelessness and looting, fires and earthquakes
LA - kind of like SF with less looting and more scary traffic.
Chicago - partner vetoed because it's too cold.

I have lived in most of the cities above and extensively visited the others, and also spoke to people living there, so I know I'm stereotyping a bit, but I don't think I'm too far off.

And I know we are being picky and most people just choose an apartment/condo in a city or a house in the suburbs, and I'm a privileged brat to want both, but you only live once

The bolded is definitely my zip. 22207 in Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Arlington and honestly it's a crapshoot on what neighborhood you fall into. Some neighborhoods in 22205 are better than 2207 and vice versa. Same with different parts of south arlington. Some days I love our neighborhood, other days I dislike and feel like it's a rat race. The benefits: kids walk to school, can walk to pre-teen/teen hang out places, once my kids get their license, we won't have to worry AS MUCH about them driving on major high ways, back roads, etc. I DO NOT love our schools especially after what Arlington County pulled during the pandemic. My son has ADHD and my other son has dyslexia and I am ALWAYS fighting and advocating for them. We are seriously considering private school next year for them because they have lost a year and the county seems to be doing nothing to meet them where they're at. If I had to do it all over again, I would probably choose Vienna or certain pockets of Falls Church.

OP here. We are hoping to live in a diverse neighborhood (both socioeconomically and racially mixed). I don't want it to be like a rat race. We don't want the top-rated schools, because those are too white and wealthy (and I get that your calculus is different because you have to think about accommodations for learning differences - our kids are neurotypical so it's less of a concern for us). What neighborhoods would you recommend?

Welp. That's the whole area, not just Arlington.

OP, I highly recommend you rethink moving to the DC area if you don't want to live in a place that's like a rat race. This area is highly-competitive and pretty stressful, and I say that as someone who is from here and loves it. But that's the reality and from what you say, I'm not sure you'll like it. Have you spent any significant time here? I really recommend you do so if you haven't already.

OP here, I guess I am just hoping if we go to those bad schools that everyone seems afraid of, we'll avoid the competitive and stressful vibe? We tried living in a more chill place but we're really unhappy not being right by a big city.

On that note, will someone please clarify what "bad school" means??? Like they're very violent or something? Even at the elementary/middle level? Or it's bad in the sense that it has poor kids so the test scores aren't high?

Arlington School parent here. I think when people are saying "bad schools" and talking about Arlington, they're saying that since they're not the best in the area/state, they're bad. I'm just one data point, so grain of salt, but that doesn't really jive with my experience. My kids are middle of the road, neurotypical kids. They seem reasonably well prepared for school and life without a lot of intervention from me. They're not going to Ivies, and that's fine with me.

I do think that APS sucked in their response to the pandemic, but I think this area gets a lot of pressure from crazy parents/people who create noise and make decision-making difficult.

+1 No, the schools are not violent. My kids (now in HS) have had good teachers, good friends, plenty of resources, and seem appropriately challenged. From friends' stories more of the competitive/stressful stuff is in the more uniformly affluent schools farther north.

Some of the "bad schools" perceptions are because of low Great Schools scores but a lot of that is because GS changed their scoring to essentially penalize schools that have SES diversity and low-income students do not score as well as high-income (which is the case everywhere and IMO not the schools' fault). Some of the actual "bad" practices IMO are an emphasis on computer games (kids get their own iPads starting in 2nd grade) and, until recently, use of Lucy Calkins for reading. They are supposed to be dropping that in favor of actual phonics instruction. The county also grew very rapidly in the recent past so there were a lot of overcrowded schools. The ES situation has been relieved somewhat but there are still needed boundary adjustments. And, HS overcrowded is a mostly unaddressed issue, they basically decided to put an annex on W-L and it will be like 3000+ students. Handling growth is a big challenge because space for expansion/new buildings is extremely limited. Boundary changes are always fraught but I think that's probably the case in most areas. And, some people don't like the lack of a dedicated gifted program/track, although I think that tends to weed out some of the more intense/competitive parents who go to Fairfax for that.

As PPs have said, your best bet is likely in the middle of the county, where the schools tend to have a better SES mix (Ashwlawn and Long Branch have been mentioned but I'd also add Fleet, Abingdon, Oakridge)

Thank you, this is so helpful!!

You have to sort through all the verbiage, but the upshot is that APS is taking the one high school that people tend to think of as having a desirable demographic balance if you value diversity and letting it get way too big (W-L), while the other high schools offer fewer academic options and are either very white (Yorktown) or mostly poor kids (Wakefield). And they got there through a combination of neglect, poor planning, and avoiding demographic balancing by prioritizing the ability of a sub-set of kids to walk to school.

Choose wisely.

[Anonymous]

No, West Springfield is the best DC location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Arlington and honestly it's a crapshoot on what neighborhood you fall into. Some neighborhoods in 22205 are better than 2207 and vice versa. Same with different parts of south arlington. Some days I love our neighborhood, other days I dislike and feel like it's a rat race. The benefits: kids walk to school, can walk to pre-teen/teen hang out places, once my kids get their license, we won't have to worry AS MUCH about them driving on major high ways, back roads, etc. I DO NOT love our schools especially after what Arlington County pulled during the pandemic. My son has ADHD and my other son has dyslexia and I am ALWAYS fighting and advocating for them. We are seriously considering private school next year for them because they have lost a year and the county seems to be doing nothing to meet them where they're at. If I had to do it all over again, I would probably choose Vienna or certain pockets of Falls Church.

OP here. We are hoping to live in a diverse neighborhood (both socioeconomically and racially mixed). I don't want it to be like a rat race. We don't want the top-rated schools, because those are too white and wealthy (and I get that your calculus is different because you have to think about accommodations for learning differences - our kids are neurotypical so it's less of a concern for us). What neighborhoods would you recommend?

Welp. That's the whole area, not just Arlington.

OP, I highly recommend you rethink moving to the DC area if you don't want to live in a place that's like a rat race. This area is highly-competitive and pretty stressful, and I say that as someone who is from here and loves it. But that's the reality and from what you say, I'm not sure you'll like it. Have you spent any significant time here? I really recommend you do so if you haven't already.

OP here, I guess I am just hoping if we go to those bad schools that everyone seems afraid of, we'll avoid the competitive and stressful vibe? We tried living in a more chill place but we're really unhappy not being right by a big city.

On that note, will someone please clarify what "bad school" means??? Like they're very violent or something? Even at the elementary/middle level? Or it's bad in the sense that it has poor kids so the test scores aren't high?

Arlington School parent here. I think when people are saying "bad schools" and talking about Arlington, they're saying that since they're not the best in the area/state, they're bad. I'm just one data point, so grain of salt, but that doesn't really jive with my experience. My kids are middle of the road, neurotypical kids. They seem reasonably well prepared for school and life without a lot of intervention from me. They're not going to Ivies, and that's fine with me.

I do think that APS sucked in their response to the pandemic, but I think this area gets a lot of pressure from crazy parents/people who create noise and make decision-making difficult.

+1 No, the schools are not violent. My kids (now in HS) have had good teachers, good friends, plenty of resources, and seem appropriately challenged. From friends' stories more of the competitive/stressful stuff is in the more uniformly affluent schools farther north.

Some of the "bad schools" perceptions are because of low Great Schools scores but a lot of that is because GS changed their scoring to essentially penalize schools that have SES diversity and low-income students do not score as well as high-income (which is the case everywhere and IMO not the schools' fault). Some of the actual "bad" practices IMO are an emphasis on computer games (kids get their own iPads starting in 2nd grade) and, until recently, use of Lucy Calkins for reading. They are supposed to be dropping that in favor of actual phonics instruction. The county also grew very rapidly in the recent past so there were a lot of overcrowded schools. The ES situation has been relieved somewhat but there are still needed boundary adjustments. And, HS overcrowded is a mostly unaddressed issue, they basically decided to put an annex on W-L and it will be like 3000+ students. Handling growth is a big challenge because space for expansion/new buildings is extremely limited. Boundary changes are always fraught but I think that's probably the case in most areas. And, some people don't like the lack of a dedicated gifted program/track, although I think that tends to weed out some of the more intense/competitive parents who go to Fairfax for that.

As PPs have said, your best bet is likely in the middle of the county, where the schools tend to have a better SES mix (Ashwlawn and Long Branch have been mentioned but I'd also add Fleet, Abingdon, Oakridge)

Thank you, this is so helpful!!

You have to sort through all the verbiage, but the upshot is that APS is taking the one high school that people tend to think of as having a desirable demographic balance if you value diversity and letting it get way too big (W-L), while the other high schools offer fewer academic options and are either very white (Yorktown) or mostly poor kids (Wakefield). And they got there through a combination of neglect, poor planning, and avoiding demographic balancing by prioritizing the ability of a sub-set of kids to walk to school.

Choose wisely.

The biggest problem with APS schools is when it comes to planning decisions they tend to cave to the loudest factions. People don't want to leave W-L for either of the other two HSs so rather than making a bunch of people angry, they are just making that school bigger. Remains to be seen how much the annex actually relieves crowding in the main building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you both work from home, WTH are you moving to the DC area?!

I live in Arlington and enjoy it (most of the time), but if both of our jobs became permanently remote, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat and move someplace cheaper.

OP here. We were looking at many different urban areas, and this seems to be the best one where you can get a house with a yard just a short drive from world-class arts & culture. We also looked at a couple big southern cities, but the weather there was a bit offputting, I like the idea of 4 seasons and not having to be indoors all summer.

Honestly, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you should reconsider the DC area. The cost of living here is tremendously high in every way, not just housing. Summer camps, VA car taxes, parking, home improvement projects, literally everything costs more than most of the rest of the country. A lot of folks live here because this is where their job is.

Do you have family nearby that is drawing you to DC? You talk about world class arts and culture, but how often are you actually going to go to museums, lectures, fancy restaurants, etc? What other cities were you considering?

I am not offended! I really want to think this through, so I appreciate the feedback. Living in cities, we would be going to museums and exhibits every weekend, trying a new restaurant every weekend, exploring a new neighborhood or area, etc. Even with the kids. Moving to the suburbs was really hard. We tried for several years to get used to the suburban life but it's just not for us.

We looked at New York, but the close-in suburbs are either too suburban/not walkable or too white/rich or both. And taxes are high.
Philadelphia - the close-in suburbs are really white/rich.
Boston - I guess Cambridge is the "urban suburb" there, and it's nice and walkable but more expensive than DMV area and I didn't really find diversity there, one of those places with a lot of BLM signs and few Black people.
Houston - horrible weather for like 4-5 months of the year, too many guns, and houses in the close-in, walkable areas cost almost as much as DMV
San Francisco - high taxes, very expensive, homelessness and looting, fires and earthquakes
LA - kind of like SF with less looting and more scary traffic.
Chicago - partner vetoed because it's too cold.

I have lived in most of the cities above and extensively visited the others, and also spoke to people living there, so I know I'm stereotyping a bit, but I don't think I'm too far off.

And I know we are being picky and most people just choose an apartment/condo in a city or a house in the suburbs, and I'm a privileged brat to want both, but you only live once

How big a city does it have to be? Have you looked at second-tier University towns? Tucson? Denver suburbs? San Diego? I bet 4 out of 5 people would tell you they wouldn't live in the DC area if they had a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you both work from home, WTH are you moving to the DC area?!

I live in Arlington and enjoy it (most of the time), but if both of our jobs became permanently remote, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat and move someplace cheaper.

OP here. We were looking at many different urban areas, and this seems to be the best one where you can get a house with a yard just a short drive from world-class arts & culture. We also looked at a couple big southern cities, but the weather there was a bit offputting, I like the idea of 4 seasons and not having to be indoors all summer.

Honestly, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you should reconsider the DC area. The cost of living here is tremendously high in every way, not just housing. Summer camps, VA car taxes, parking, home improvement projects, literally everything costs more than most of the rest of the country. A lot of folks live here because this is where their job is.

Do you have family nearby that is drawing you to DC? You talk about world class arts and culture, but how often are you actually going to go to museums, lectures, fancy restaurants, etc? What other cities were you considering?

I am not offended! I really want to think this through, so I appreciate the feedback. Living in cities, we would be going to museums and exhibits every weekend, trying a new restaurant every weekend, exploring a new neighborhood or area, etc. Even with the kids. Moving to the suburbs was really hard. We tried for several years to get used to the suburban life but it's just not for us.

We looked at New York, but the close-in suburbs are either too suburban/not walkable or too white/rich or both. And taxes are high.
Philadelphia - the close-in suburbs are really white/rich.
Boston - I guess Cambridge is the "urban suburb" there, and it's nice and walkable but more expensive than DMV area and I didn't really find diversity there, one of those places with a lot of BLM signs and few Black people.
Houston - horrible weather for like 4-5 months of the year, too many guns, and houses in the close-in, walkable areas cost almost as much as DMV
San Francisco - high taxes, very expensive, homelessness and looting, fires and earthquakes
LA - kind of like SF with less looting and more scary traffic.
Chicago - partner vetoed because it's too cold.

I have lived in most of the cities above and extensively visited the others, and also spoke to people living there, so I know I'm stereotyping a bit, but I don't think I'm too far off.

And I know we are being picky and most people just choose an apartment/condo in a city or a house in the suburbs, and I'm a privileged brat to want both, but you only live once

I think the issue that you will run into in Arlington is what people have already said - the public schools with best Great Schools scores are the ones with the least amount of diversity. Personally I think GS scores mean very little and it seems like you do, too, but just wanted to flag it again. If you stick to Arlington I would not look north of the former Lee Highway recently renamed Langston Blvd. There is very little diversity up that way.

Also, I think you might have said you didn't like Silver Spring in MD, but the Woodside Park neighborhood (20910) has a lot of what you're seeking. Beautiful homes, a real sense of community, more diversity than in other places, and there are some things you can walk to. Some people will say the schools are meh, but I have family friends who have had great experiences. You're probably already overwhelmed with choices, but I figured it can't hurt for you to take a look.

[Anonymous]

The major draw of DC as a city is that it is medium-density, walkable, and has many high paying jobs. You can live in the city and not own a car but still don't have to be in that sort of suffocating, NYC level density. If you must live the life of detached SFH, look at close-in northwest (Cleveland park, glover, etc.). There is really no major benefit of being in Arlington over any other semi walkable suburban area. Walkability in Arlington is not the same as walkability in, say, Cambridge. It's mostly a lie. Yes there are sidewalks, but very few people have the ability to actually walk to the grocery store for a daily shop.