adhd kid not wanting to take meds

[Anonymous]

Any strategies? My 11 yr old refuses to take their meds on days where they don't take tests. Thing is, on meds the evenings go way easier. Homework is self started and done quickly. Without, it's a 60-min s-show. I also know that they do way better in class on the meds. Help?

[Anonymous]

Maybe let them fail and see that meds help? Keep a chart outlining time and mood you fill out with them? Ultimately they have to have the tools to be successful- but they have to be in charge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let them fail and see that meds help? Keep a chart outlining time and mood you fill out with them? Ultimately they have to have the tools to be successful- but they have to be in charge

But just this year (2024) we finally got the right dose and the right med. Failing just stopped 5 months ago!

[Anonymous]

Tell her refusing is not an option. She can either take it with ______ or _______, and doesn't have to take it during ________, but refusing medication her doctor and parents have decided she needs is unacceptable. Obviously tell her this WHILE medicated.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is 11. Allow them some bodily autonomy. That is far more important than your desire to have "evenings go way easier."

Psych meds, including those prescribed for ADHD, are not baby aspirin. They are serious drugs. Your child is handling this in an advanced way, and you are wanting to undermine that to make your own "evenings" easier.

[Anonymous]

oh goodness last poster. She just started taking meds this academic year. Her grades went from Cs to As overnight. She was re-tested, by the school for learning disabilities and tested "gifted". So yeah, I want her to take the meds so she actually learns to her potential. Homework going easier is a bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her refusing is not an option. She can either take it with ______ or _______, and doesn't have to take it during ________, but refusing medication her doctor and parents have decided she needs is unacceptable. Obviously tell her this WHILE medicated.

Thank you.
She takes the meds at 7am so I'm not positive I see her medicated at 5 for homework.
We have a "girls day" today so maybe we'll talk about it over lunch after we get some fresh books.

[Anonymous]

If meds are so spectacular for her in terms of results - why doesn't she want to take them?

Usually kids don't want to take meds because of the side effects or because they don't like how they feel on them or because they don't think they help. But if these have been miracle drugs for her - what is her hesitation?

I am an adult with ADHD. I only sporadically take meds. I take them when I have a specific kind of task to do where I have to be focused for long hours at a computer / desk. For example writing a report or something. Otherwise I don't take them. But for me, they aren't miracle drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is 11. Allow them some bodily autonomy. That is far more important than your desire to have "evenings go way easier."

Psych meds, including those prescribed for ADHD, are not baby aspirin. They are serious drugs. Your child is handling this in an advanced way, and you are wanting to undermine that to make your own "evenings" easier.

+100. I respect that ADHD and other meds may be necessary but often get the willies on here when parents seem to be aiming to eliminate normal difficulties and are seeking perfection.

there’s a reason the child doesn’t want to take meds every day - find out why. the fact that he realizes they help him with tests and he’s willing to take them on test days seems very insightful. instead of forcing him, work with him to be mindful of how the meds help and decide for himself whether he wants to take them to help with regular homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any strategies? My 11 yr old refuses to take their meds on days where they don't take tests. Thing is, on meds the evenings go way easier. Homework is self started and done quickly. Without, it's a 60-min s-show. I also know that they do way better in class on the meds. Help?

Sounds like the kid knows what's up and doesn't want to take meds more often than necessary. Smart kid.

Have they expressed issues with side effects or not feeling themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If meds are so spectacular for her in terms of results - why doesn't she want to take them?

Usually kids don't want to take meds because of the side effects or because they don't like how they feel on them or because they don't think they help. But if these have been miracle drugs for her - what is her hesitation?

I am an adult with ADHD. I only sporadically take meds. I take them when I have a specific kind of task to do where I have to be focused for long hours at a computer / desk. For example writing a report or something. Otherwise I don't take them. But for me, they aren't miracle drugs.

this is what I hear from other adults too - they don’t like the way they feel and they don’t necessarily help in every situation.

what about lowering the dosage on regular days? lots of time the highest dosage is prescribed when a lower dose gives a lot of the benefits and fewer side effects.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t force the child.
But continue to have open and honest conversations about it. The kid is 11. So what if HW doesn’t get done some days. So what if the kid doesn’t get all As in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Please see GrowNow ADHD and ADHD Dude, experts on ADHD and who can speak with expertise about medication refusal for kids with ADHD. And talk to your dr. Not other parents — they do not know what is best and I say this as a parent of a DC with ADHD. Listen to experts. As parents we have a lot of experience, but we are not medical experts.

If my child with diabetes said they didn’t want insulin, guess what: that’s not a choice that is medically appropriate. And neither is an 11 yr old deciding about their ADHD medications on their own. Have your child speak with their dr 1-1 for some autonomy. But not that they decided on medication on their own at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please see GrowNow ADHD and ADHD Dude, experts on ADHD and who can speak with expertise about medication refusal for kids with ADHD. And talk to your dr. Not other parents — they do not know what is best and I say this as a parent of a DC with ADHD. Listen to experts. As parents we have a lot of experience, but we are not medical experts.

If my child with diabetes said they didn’t want insulin, guess what: that’s not a choice that is medically appropriate. And neither is an 11 yr old deciding about their ADHD medications on their own. Have your child speak with their dr 1-1 for some autonomy. But not that they decided on medication on their own at this age.

If a child with diabetes doesn't take insulin, they die. The two things are not the same.

They need to understand what is going on from the child's perspective, and children do have choice and the right to consent to medical treatment if they are seem as competent and understanding of the risks, harms, and benefits. Few health care professionals will force (non life saving) treatment on a child who is refusing that treatment and able to competently explain why. Health care professionals will speak with the children involved. Additionally, ADHD medication is in pill form. Even if parents did decide to force medication, it is very hard to restrain and force a pill down an 11 year olds throat. And would really ruin whatever was left of any trust in that relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have not been able to get my 11 year old to take ADHD meds either. I’m waiting him out. I’m not willing to get into a battle with him over and over about this. He will need to decide when he is ready to take them, even if it means his grades aren’t as high as they could be. It’s very unfortunate but at some point, I can’t physically hold him down and make him swallow and I have to accept this.