Little League and parent arrogance

[Anonymous]

Years ago when my son was 8, he played Little League (Vienna) and had the misfortune of being on teams two seasons in a row where the dads/coaches really thought their sons were headed for the big leagues. The coaches barely played the lesser skilled kids (my son was in this group) and ignored all but a handful of players. The boys are all in high school now and the kids who were going to be Cal Ripken aren’t even playing baseball (or any sport, for some of them) anymore. I occasionally wonder if the dads ever think back on how they coached those teams and regret being so myopic. Just wishful thinking on my part?

[Anonymous]

They don’t GAF.

There is something deeply wrong with them.

[Anonymous]

Weird you follow them this many years on and carry this issue year after year.

[Anonymous]

So, it's been 7 or 8 years and you're still fixated on something that happened when your child was 8?

Why?

But the short answer to your question is that in diamond sports, the younger the kids, the crazier the parents. It's rooted in deep anxiety. As Coach Lance says in the movie "All-Stars," at 10U, every parent knows more than every parent and every umpire. But by the time they're 14U or so, they're more chill.

I thought LL had minimum playing time rules anyway?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

[Anonymous]

this is not specific to LL... soccer, football, lacross... I've seen it everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, it's been 7 or 8 years and you're still fixated on something that happened when your child was 8?

Why?

But the short answer to your question is that in diamond sports, the younger the kids, the crazier the parents. It's rooted in deep anxiety. As Coach Lance says in the movie "All-Stars," at 10U, every parent knows more than every parent and every umpire. But by the time they're 14U or so, they're more chill.

I thought LL had minimum playing time rules anyway?

I started reading, "in diamond sports, the younger the kids, the crazier the parents" and immediately my brain flashed to the exact same scene in All-Stars that you just quoted. That movie is only funny if you've played rec diamond sports, but if you have it's so hilarious.

And I get why OP feels a tiny sense of vindication. It's hard when your kid isn't given a fair shake at an age where the coach's number one job is to instill a love of the game, not win. In this case I bet it's much easier for the kid to have moved on - hopefully having learned some valuable life lessons about resilience - then it is a parent.

[Anonymous]

Sigh. OP here. I knew someone would jump in and assume I had some obsession with this situation. I don’t “follow” anyone - we live in a small community and I see the parents in the neighborhood and we chat sometimes. I do think about this *occasionally* as I said in my original post. Good for you if you have never thought about a situation in your kids’ past that sucked. Way to live in the moment- I truly admire you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

Haha there’s definitely no shortage of coaches in VLL. But yeah that’s on me for expecting someone who coaches little kids to act like a decent human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

Haha there’s definitely no shortage of coaches in VLL. But yeah that’s on me for expecting someone who coaches little kids to act like a decent human being.

Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

Haha there’s definitely no shortage of coaches in VLL. But yeah that’s on me for expecting someone who coaches little kids to act like a decent human being.

If there's really no shortage (and unless you were the one picking coaches you actually don't know how much arm twisting had to go on behind the scenes to get head coaches), then you could have volunteered to run a parent feedback form at the end of the season that helps pick coaches for the following season. That's how leagues normally solve the "we have enough coaches and some of them are jerks" problem. Or just volunteered in general because it's a great way to ensure your kid has the best possible experience. If there's a league that will turn down a volunteer, I have yet to find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

Haha there’s definitely no shortage of coaches in VLL. But yeah that’s on me for expecting someone who coaches little kids to act like a decent human being.

If there's really no shortage (and unless you were the one picking coaches you actually don't know how much arm twisting had to go on behind the scenes to get head coaches), then you could have volunteered to run a parent feedback form at the end of the season that helps pick coaches for the following season. That's how leagues normally solve the "we have enough coaches and some of them are jerks" problem. Or just volunteered in general because it's a great way to ensure your kid has the best possible experience. If there's a league that will turn down a volunteer, I have yet to find it.

My spouse and I both volunteered. We both helped with practices when needed (there were two main coaches and two assistant coaches already, fathers of the four boys who never sat the bench for even a minute during a game) and I also worked concessions. Never made a difference.

[Anonymous]

Op, I know kind of the reverse. Dad barely played his son and chose son's best friend to keep him company on the bench. I think the coach not playing his son was to teach him a lesson, or something. Or son was never that interested. Dad really wanted to coach. Son didn't want to play. Our son worked-around this by pushing to be goalie, which the team needed, and no one wanted that position. DS didn't like being goalie but at least the coach put him in.

Change teams next time. We never let one particular sport become so important. Change sports. We did rec teams only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

This. I rarely open my mouth to complain about my kids' coaches when I don't raise my hand to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have volunteered to coach.

Haha there’s definitely no shortage of coaches in VLL. But yeah that’s on me for expecting someone who coaches little kids to act like a decent human being.

If there's really no shortage (and unless you were the one picking coaches you actually don't know how much arm twisting had to go on behind the scenes to get head coaches), then you could have volunteered to run a parent feedback form at the end of the season that helps pick coaches for the following season. That's how leagues normally solve the "we have enough coaches and some of them are jerks" problem. Or just volunteered in general because it's a great way to ensure your kid has the best possible experience. If there's a league that will turn down a volunteer, I have yet to find it.

My spouse and I both volunteered. We both helped with practices when needed (there were two main coaches and two assistant coaches already, fathers of the four boys who never sat the bench for even a minute during a game) and I also worked concessions. Never made a difference.

+1