Spending Mother's Day with MIL- WWYD
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Anonymous
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I got roped into co-hosting a baby shower with my MIL for her niece- the day before Mother's Day- at my house. 50 people, mostly family coming in from out of town. She originally asked me to have the party on Mother's Day, but I gave a hard "no" because I want to enjoy Mother's Day relaxing. I told this to DH as well. So Mother's Day weekend, I will spend all day Friday and Saturday with MIL and her family for party set up, the party itself, and cleanup at my house.
In spite of me saying I wanted to relax on Mother's Day, MIL has all the sudden invited everyone for lunch for Sunday Mother's Day. (Me/DH/my kids; 15 of her family members; plus my parents). Basically just a smaller version of the shower I didn't want to throw on Mother's Day. With the commute & lunch, it will be 5 hours out of the day to go to this lunch. So it will not be quick. DH wants to spend mother's day with his mom/grandma/aunts. I feel stuck because either 1) I go to this lunch for day 3 in a row with his family for 5 hours and be miserable or 2) I stay home alone with no kids or husband and everyone thinking I'm a jerk. What would you do? |
Anonymous
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I'd have DH take his mom out on the Friday, do the shower on saturday, and spend sunday with DH+kids.
I think you should be able to push back and say that after the stress of hosting you just want a lowkey day with your family. |
Anonymous
| Tough one; have a friend call and it’s an emergency. Go have brunch together. That’s all I got… |
Anonymous
| I get where you're coming from. I really do. BUT can you reserve a make-over Mothers Day (weekend!!) for yourself the following week? |
Anonymous
| Would it be so bad to spend Sunday by yourself while your husband and kids go? That sounds kind of nice to me actually. |
Anonymous
OP here: I like this idea. I am to suck it up and celebrate with my husband and kids another weekend. I am just so angry inside right now, that my heart is racing. MIL does this stuff all the time and I am always the one to concede. Ahhhhh. Thank you for the advice. |
Anonymous
I think the problem here is that your DH isn’t on your side. Despite saying you don’t want to do this, he says he wants to spend Mother’s Day with his mom. That’s the issue. And his mom knows he will say yes to her so she planned it despite your objections. |
Anonymous
I'd suck it up and be a "team" family member, and tell DH we, our immediately family, will celebrate ME the following weekend. And on the day before Mother's Day, I'd give myself the gift of hiring someone to help clean up. 
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Anonymous
| This is primarily a DH problem. |
Anonymous
| I would totally make the following weekend Mother’s Day weekend. Then you get to be gracious to your MIL and you get celebrated uniquely! I don’t care what day the holiday really is, I just appreciate when my family celebrates me |
Anonymous
| Why is option two making you seem like a jerk? It sounds lovely to be able to sleep in without the kids, and have them celebrate you as mom for a nice dinner instead of brunch. If for some reason this would piss DH off, then I think that’s terribly unfair. |
Anonymous
His mom hasn’t done anything wrong. She invited OP and OP is free to decline. Sounds like there are a lot of family members in town and she wants to celebrate Mother’s Day with them, and that totally makes sense! It doesn’t mean that OP needs to celebrate with them though. They aren’t her mom and aunts, they are DH’s! |
Anonymous
| Do your parents have any interest in celebrating with your MIL!?! |
Anonymous
| You need to smack your husband upside the head. |
Anonymous
| Negotiate the heck out of it. Take Sunday to yourself. Husband gets you breakfast before he leaves. And a redo with the family the following weekend. |