Interested to check out Chabad - but not sure I'd be welcomed?

[Anonymous]

Brief background - my husband is Jewish (secular) and I am not Jewish but studying Judaism and feel strongly I may convert in the future.

We want our kids to get more exposed to Judaism and possibly attend Hebrew School.

While I think our kids would probably not be turned away, I'm thinking I would be turned away from learning and getting to the know the community.

Am I being stupid or is there any truth to my thoughts?

Interested to get feedback from any Jews who are involved with a Chabad community so I don't embarrass my family.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, Chabad is always welcoming to everyone. But since you're not Jewish, they won't consider you or your children Jewish for religious/ritual purposes. So, you can participate in their programs, but they won't do a bar mitzvah for your kids when the time comes.

Is there a reason you feel drawn to Chabad? Have you looked into the Reform or non-Orthodox synagogues in your area?

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the specific Chabad house. Chabad houses are basically franchises, each is locally run, usually by a husband-wife team (but not always). They are supposed to be welcoming and hospitable, but of course there are outliers. I would bet you will be received warmly, but nobody can guarantee it. Be brave and give it a try! They’re not the only game in town so it’s not do or die. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Sixth and I and the JCCs in DC and Nova have excellent adult learning programs, including some specifically for spouses of Jews and/or people considering conversion.

And as another person said, a reform or deconstructionist synagogue would consider your children Jewish.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you for the responses!

I'm closest to the Gainesville Chabad house but could also try out the Loudoun Chabad house.

They both have Hebrew Schools which is nice!

[Anonymous]

We have spent time at the Fairfax Chabad house, and I can say for sure that no one is turned away there. My husband is not Jewish, I am not a very practicing Jew, but all of us and our child were more than welcome there for many years. I can't speak to the issue of converting, but Chabad's whole MO in general is being welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, Chabad is always welcoming to everyone. But since you're not Jewish, they won't consider you or your children Jewish for religious/ritual purposes. So, you can participate in their programs, but they won't do a bar mitzvah for your kids when the time comes.

Is there a reason you feel drawn to Chabad? Have you looked into the Reform or non-Orthodox synagogues in your area?

OP here.

I think because I have heard how welcoming they are and how much outreach they do with the general public. My family attended a menorah lighting yesterday evening. I joined a zoom meeting a week ago (I think) that was discussing the war.

My mother-in-law was raised Conservative but stopped practicing in her 20s, so my husband and his siblings have little knowledge of anything Jewish.

I know Chabad would be all over him, so also hoping they'd view me as someone who is supportive, too, especially as I am taking a class and doing a lot of learning on my own. And that we want our kids to be exposed to Judaism, too.

Not against other denominations, I'm probably just anticipating perhaps they wouldn't be as open to a non-Jew? Could just be my own silliness at play, though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sixth and I and the JCCs in DC and Nova have excellent adult learning programs, including some specifically for spouses of Jews and/or people considering conversion.

And as another person said, a reform or deconstructionist synagogue would consider your children Jewish.

OP here.

Thanks for your reply!

Unfortunately, trekking into DC is just too dang far 😩. If we were closer, I'd definitely check out Sixth and I, though!

I'm thinking if Chabad isn't up to us, that we'd probably try out a Reform synagogue.

Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the specific Chabad house. Chabad houses are basically franchises, each is locally run, usually by a husband-wife team (but not always). They are supposed to be welcoming and hospitable, but of course there are outliers. I would bet you will be received warmly, but nobody can guarantee it. Be brave and give it a try! They’re not the only game in town so it’s not do or die. Good luck!

OP here.

I appreciate your reply! You're right, you don't know until you try!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have spent time at the Fairfax Chabad house, and I can say for sure that no one is turned away there. My husband is not Jewish, I am not a very practicing Jew, but all of us and our child were more than welcome there for many years. I can't speak to the issue of converting, but Chabad's whole MO in general is being welcoming.

OP here.

Thanks for your input! Good to know that your family has been welcomed and received well!

Someone else mentioned that all we can do is try and see!

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if you have a Reconstructionist congregation near you, but we found that they were extremely welcoming to our nontraditional (interfaith, gay) family! May be worth checking out and seeing if the denomination feels like a fit for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sixth and I and the JCCs in DC and Nova have excellent adult learning programs, including some specifically for spouses of Jews and/or people considering conversion.

And as another person said, a reform or deconstructionist synagogue would consider your children Jewish.

OP here.

Thanks for your reply!

Unfortunately, trekking into DC is just too dang far 😩. If we were closer, I'd definitely check out Sixth and I, though!

I'm thinking if Chabad isn't up to us, that we'd probably try out a Reform synagogue.

Thanks again!

There’s a JCC in Virginia too! https://www.thej.org/
But it might not have what you’re looking for/might be farther than Chabad. Maybe something to keep in mind tho!

[Anonymous]

Chabad and Reform are very different, a weird choice as your top/only 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chabad and Reform are very different, a weird choice as your top/only 2.

PP here + I noticed that too which is why I thought OP might be interested in Reconstructionism - she’s obviously still learning about denominations (and that’s 100% OK!)

OP, you might enjoy this link:
https://www.jewbelong.com/more/different-kinds-jewish/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chabad and Reform are very different, a weird choice as your top/only 2.

OP here.

I'm not fixated on any one particular denomination - I understand Chabad is Hasidic but they are known for their outreach, so I thought maybe they could help us all on our journey.

I mentioned Reform because as I understand it, they consider patrilineal Jews as Jews, unlike Conservative and traditional Orthodox.

So if we are not welcomed by Chabad, we'd try Reform next, I think.