Lost a dear friend over the war

Anonymous
Just lost one of my best and oldest friends, we have know each other since grad school and its quite sad.

Bottom line we were out to dinner with 3 couples. She is a self proclaimed zionist, even her husband has made a 360 and totally does not get her. They are having major marital issues because of it.

4 of us expressed that we were sad about Oct 7th obviously but that we were in solidarity with the Palestinian CIVILIANS NOT HAMAS OF COURSE. She then went on a tirade, to the point where she jumped up in the middle of dinner, ran out. Her husband went after her and about 10 min later he came back alone saying she got an uber and was headed home.

He was embarrassed and vert apologetic. He then told us about their "issues" and that she was also called/reprimanded by their Childs school headmaster for telling her child something to say to her teacher (re the war). She seems to be going off the deep end. In light of our long standing friendship, I tried to call her the next day and she told me before I could string 5 words together, that she never wanted to speak to me again. I didn't press on as those are strong fighting words and I don't grovel to anyone. I am of course quite sad about losing this friend, but I think there's just a lot more happening there, none of which I can mend for her.

I hope in due time she may come around. I have many friends where we agree to disagree and behave like civilized ADULTS. Has anyone else lost a friend over this kind of discourse?
Anonymous
I have lost relationships over these kinds of issues. Nothing you can do about this woman's feelings right now; accept what she told you. In the future, bite your tongue.
Anonymous
I think this is a tough topic of conversation even for very close friends. Not what I would consider polite dinner conversation in a larger group like that. Too much opportunity for varying opinions.
Anonymous
Who is dumb enough to discuss politics and religion with friends?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Who is dumb enough to discuss politics and religion with friends?


+1000000

Some people never learn
Anonymous
I would ask for this to move to the politics forum - it's not really about religion. I work on these issues and it's very very very hard right now. I've never seen anything like it in 30+ years of professional engagement with these topics. Feelings are running extremely intense for so many people; I have tried to avoid saying much of anything to anyone, except where my job requires me to talk about this stuff.

I really do understand the emotions - there's a sense for both sides that everything has changed in a way that represents an existential threat to their community. Still I hope that the intensity can abate a bit - I think that the passionate feelings are actually exacerbating problems both here and in the region.
Anonymous
This is NOT about religion and doesn’t belong in this forum.
Anonymous
I think you meant her DH did a 180 - not a 360 ending up right where he started. Also was “grad school” a typo? If you lost a friend from grade school that would be more notable.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think you meant her DH did a 180 - not a 360 ending up right where he started. Also was “grad school” a typo? If you lost a friend from grade school that would be more notable.


LOL. "Who invited the engineer?" (from Dilbert)
Anonymous
My husband grew up in the Middle East and for whatever reason people keep asking him about it and all he says is “this has been going on since I was a little kid.” That sort of shuts down the conversation. It’s so sad and pointless to lose friends over people in a death embrace.
Anonymous
Welcome! Yes we are all losing friends over Trump, abortion, hating of gays... welcome to adulthood.

Friends are for a season, reason or life. This is for a reason. Thanks for not just crumbling to keep a friendship.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Who is dumb enough to discuss politics and religion with friends?


Who are you supposed to discuss serious topics with if not your close friends? A group setting with four couples is a bit much but one-on-one should not be impossible.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up in the Middle East and for whatever reason people keep asking him about it and all he says is “this has been going on since I was a little kid.” That sort of shuts down the conversation. It’s so sad and pointless to lose friends over people in a death embrace.


Perfect response.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Who is dumb enough to discuss politics and religion with friends?


I think everyone should want the terrorist group Hamas out of PLO, especially the PLo civilians who are Hamas pawns, body armor and super suppressed by them.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is NOT about religion and doesn’t belong in this forum.


This belongs in politics not romantic relationships.
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