Seven year old wants to show her midriff.

[Anonymous]

My daughter, seeing the trend in teen girls, now wants to show her midriff. I'm not a fan of this trend or anything that feels like objectifying. At the same time, I want her to be comfortable and happy in what she's wearing. Clearly this isn't about boy attention because she's not into them yet (that would be an easier conversation to have if that were the reason). I'm excited about the cold weather coming, maybe that will help, for now. Any similar experiences with your daughters and how you approached it?

[Anonymous]

Nasty

[Anonymous]

No personal experience but I wouldn't allow it.

[Anonymous]

Um, no. Where is she seeing so many teen girls that she wants to do this. I sure hope it’s not online.

[Anonymous]

No, absolutely not. Parent your kid. It's not complicated.

[Anonymous]

It's ok to say that some styles are for older kids and teenagers.

But if there's a way you would allow it, then I'd give it a try. Something like a longer crop top that only shows a smaller slice of her stomach, or she has to wear a cardigan over it. My 9 year old picked out a crop top tank this summer. She wore it once, because it turns out she sort of hated it. So I was glad I didn't make a big fuss about it and let her try it.

[Anonymous]

Sorry that none of the PPs have given remotely helpful responses. I opened this thread bc I too have a 7 year old girl and - although this particular issue hasn’t come up - similar things have/will and I wondered how people would approach it in a ‘shut it down but not shaming’ way. Hope some people with helpful advice chime in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that none of the PPs have given remotely helpful responses. I opened this thread bc I too have a 7 year old girl and - although this particular issue hasn’t come up - similar things have/will and I wondered how people would approach it in a ‘shut it down but not shaming’ way. Hope some people with helpful advice chime in!

Yeah, it's odd. I too am hopeful for some helpful responses.

And no, she doesn't have access to the internet or TV, except select kid/educational shows I turn on for her. I'm not sure where you all live, but walk anywhere near a middle or high school in the DC area and half the girls are wearing crop tops.

[Anonymous]

"objectifying" is a way overstretched concept, as beauty is part of being human, but showing off skin for fashion means something and it's not something your 7 yr old should be doing.

[Anonymous]

If my seven year old wanted to show her midriff I’d be concerned. But if I met a mother who even contemplated allowing it I’d be more concerned.

Be a parent.

And it’s not a girl thing either. I wouldn’t want a seven year old boy dressing like that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that none of the PPs have given remotely helpful responses. I opened this thread bc I too have a 7 year old girl and - although this particular issue hasn’t come up - similar things have/will and I wondered how people would approach it in a ‘shut it down but not shaming’ way. Hope some people with helpful advice chime in!

I never understand these posts - or the parents who are more concerned with "shaming" than education. It is an absolute SHAME that we live in a culture where seven year old girls have already learned that their self worth is dependent on how good they look in skimpy clothing. Even at this young age, they understand that their inherent value is directly proportional to how much skin they show. Do we not have value when we are clothed? and not hyper-critiqued for how we dress? Why are parents supporting this? Tell your girls that they deserve to be just as comfortable at school as the boys who are able to learn in baggy shorts and t-shirts. They don't need to worry if their stomachs are small enough, butts big enough, and drawing enough attention. Maybe women will always be hyper sexualized and we should just accept it. Who knows?

But in you can, tell them that school is for education and they should wear what is comfortable for learning.

[Anonymous]

She’s 7.

She’s not the parent and does not get to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok to say that some styles are for older kids and teenagers.

But if there's a way you would allow it, then I'd give it a try. Something like a longer crop top that only shows a smaller slice of her stomach, or she has to wear a cardigan over it. My 9 year old picked out a crop top tank this summer. She wore it once, because it turns out she sort of hated it. So I was glad I didn't make a big fuss about it and let her try it.

+1. Totally okay to say that crop tops are for older girls. Frame it that it's uncomfortable to play in a short shirt. My 7 year old has some tops that are cut high on her long torso, and she often chooses to wear a camisole underneath so her belly doesn't show (she finds it uncomfortable). Maybe try that? She gets the look, but with belly coverage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my seven year old wanted to show her midriff I’d be concerned. But if I met a mother who even contemplated allowing it I’d be more concerned.

Be a parent.

And it’s not a girl thing either. I wouldn’t want a seven year old boy dressing like that either.

+1. Parent of two teen girls and one teen boy.

[Anonymous]

Is it one of those cropped r shirts at old navy etc that would slow a sliver of stomach when arms are raised? Or a super short top? I let my 9 year old wear the former with high waisted jeans and a cardigan. Latter would not be allowed.