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family with different last names: how to address an envelope
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Anonymous
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My sister kept her last name when she got married but her daughters have her husband's last name. I usually address the letter (names changed of course):
Sally Jones John, Kelly, and Laura Smith Is there a quicker more casual way to address an envelope? I'd like to hear from people with the same name situation - how are letters addressed to you? |
Anonymous
| This might be incorrect, but I do "The Smith Family" |
Anonymous
When there are that many people, that's what I would do too. Just the couple? Then Jim Carville and Mary Matalin. Whole family? The Carville family. |
Anonymous
| OP here. See, I think this is somewhat disrespectful - changing someone's name for my own convenience. And knowing my sister, she would be offended. Ah well, I guess I've answered my own question: write it out the long way. |
Anonymous
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You could do
John Smith, Sally Jones and family. |
Anonymous
| I've done "The Jones/Smith Family". I think how any of these methods are received depends on the family - you know your sister best and if she's going to be upset about it, then you just have to keep listing it the long way. But you probably knew that before you asked. |
Anonymous
| My & DH's family addresses everything Mr & Mrs Smith or The Smith Family but we never explicitly told most of them that I didn't change my name. I don't take offense - that's the deal I made with DH. If your sister would, then 11:39s suggestion is probably the best compromise. |
Anonymous
| I didn't change my name. It always bugs me when people write "The Smith Family", completely ignoring the fact that I kept my name, as women in my culture always do. What I write, and what I think is the most polite, is "The Smith/Jones Family" i.e. just put a slash between our two names. I didn't hyphenate my name or anything like that, and this acknowledges that we are a family with two different last names. |
Anonymous
| We have this setup, and I prefer "The Matlin/Carville Family." |
Anonymous
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Jones/Smith family. Using "Smith family" (defaulting to the husband's last name and ignoring the wife's) is disrespectful to be sure. Don't you want people to call you by YOUR proper name?
BTW, the only time we receive mail addressed to the "Smith family" (my husband's last name only) is when it's from elderly people, i.e., my parents' friends or distant elderly relatives. I assume that most people born after 1960 would have this one figured out by now. 
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Anonymous
| What about a case where the wife hyphenated the two last names, and the husband and kids have his last name. So she's Matlin-Carville and they're Carville. OK then to say Carville family? Or Matlin/Carville family? |
Anonymous
I also prefer this. I find it very disrespectful to my choice to retain my own name when people address things to the Smiths. |
Anonymous
| Interesting. I kept my last name too, but would never flip out over the use of the Carville family. Life's too short to get your panties in a bunch over stuff like that. |
Anonymous
| my panties aren't in a bunch, and I don't flip out. That said, my name has never been Mary Smith, and anybody who knows my family knows this. The choice to address things to the "Smiths" reflects the bible-belt mentality of relatives who can't get over the fact that my husband "allowed" me to keep my "maiden" name. |
Anonymous
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Jim Carville, Mary Matalin and Family
or Jim Carville, Mary Matalin-Carville and Family |