| My child has been having significant behavioral issues in their private pre-K 4 program, most troublingly violent outbursts. I have referred them for an IEP evalulation through our school district by have not yet signed the consent form. (They will be attending K at a public school next year.) They had started to do better, but last week was awful. Academically, they are fine and socially, they have several friends at school and seems well-liked by the other children. But they obviously have a serious issue with emotional regulation and impulse control, and neither private therapy nor lots of work and practice at home seems to be helping. If they are found eligible for an IEP, what can I expect? My ideal would be a mainstream classroom with an aide but I don't know how realistic that is. My big concern is that by having him evaluated, he'll be placed in a self-contained class next year, which would be okay if that's ultimately what he needs, but I'd like to give him a chance in a mainstream kindergarten classroom first, especially since right now his psychologist things some of his problems may be due to immaturity and a poor fit with his current school. |
| Where do you live? Nobody can help you without knowing this. In MoCo you are not getting a one-on-one. |
| How is he at home? Could it be a bad school fit? |
Up until this week we weren't seeing this type of behavior at home, but this week they have been acting up at home as well. My husband (their dad) had surgery and a hospital stay this week, so possibly that has something to do with it. My feeling right now is that some of it is a bad school fit but a lot of it is due to poor emotional regulation on my child's part. We also aren't able to change them to a different school right now. |
| I can’t tell you what will happen with your child but my child was also nearly counseled out of private preschool and going through ChildFind (we were in MOCO) was wonderful. I have written on here before but our experience was entirely positive. My child had no academic issues but based on teacher reports we entered kindergarten with an IEP written around emotional regulation and working in groups primarily. They had had some outbursts that were significant but not really violent so I am not sure if your experience will be the same, so take all this with a grain of salt. My child was mainstreamed and had a case manager /SPED teacher who spent a couple hours a day in the room with them and one other student who I believe also had an IEP. It was tremendously helpful. We continued to pursue outside diagnosis and therapy and my child no longer needs the IEP, it was discontinued in 2nd grade. But it was so nice to have that extra support coming in. I would go through the process and see. Wishing you the best. |
| Get an advocate, ask them all your questions, take them to the IEP meeting with you. |
We live in flyover country right now. (I used to live in the DMV.) I don't actually think they need a 1:1 aide. I thnk an aide assigned to help a few students might work well. |
| Public school aides, at least here, have no formal training in how to support a child with behavioral needs. Definitely talk to an advocate who knows the area. |
| Get enrolled in PCIT, stat. Also consider taking him out of the private preschool, because it isn’t working. I had a VERY similar kid - he did much much better in a small relaxed daycare that was sensory friendly, and did GREAT in K with a strong IEP. You need the IEP - you need to make a giant stinking deal about the behavior making him unable to access the curriculum. |
| Why can't you change him? What about an in home or anywhere else? I would work very hard to get an IEP before starting K. Otherwise, it can take months once school gets started. I don't know about the Child Find where you are but our has a backlog (due to staffing and increased referrals since Covid). I would sign the consent form and move forward asap. I would provide the team with any reports you have from your psychologist. Does your school system do mainstreaming/home school model? |
Based on this I don’t know that any of us can help you. I do think that regardless of what you do, your child will be in mainstream. But by starting now, you’ll be in a good place for addressing problems that occur. |
| Hold back a year to gain a bit of emotional stability? |
| Are you the one who keeps posting looking for advice and we give you the same advice and you ignore it. You need to switch schools to start with. |
If your child had poor emotional regulation you'd be seeing it more at home. You need to change school environments. Hope your husband is doing well. |
Yeah, that’s not happening out of the gate. There will need to be a long pattern of not having success in a regular public school classroom before something this expensive, and understaffed, is even considered. |