Sometimes I’m still so mad this professor discouraged me

[Anonymous]

From time to time this pops up in my head and hurts like it was yesterday. I don’t know why, because even though the couple years that immediately followed were a truly hard and depressing time for me, I ended up finding a career I’m passionate about and I am happy.

I got electives out of the way at a CC and then attended a university in my 20s. My very first final of my very first class, the professor, in front of the whole class after my final presentation told me, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but this just isn’t for you.” I dropped out, felt like such an unteachable loser for YEARS, until I found my calling.

So why, despite being happy and fulfilled, do I let this bother me so much, nearly two decades later?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a great question for a therapist.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like it's about your own dissatisfaction and discouragement with yourself OP. I agree, therapist might have some feedback for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From time to time this pops up in my head and hurts like it was yesterday. I don’t know why, because even though the couple years that immediately followed were a truly hard and depressing time for me, I ended up finding a career I’m passionate about and I am happy.

I got electives out of the way at a CC and then attended a university in my 20s. My very first final of my very first class, the professor, in front of the whole class after my final presentation told me, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but this just isn’t for you.” I dropped out, felt like such an unteachable loser for YEARS, until I found my calling.

So why, despite being happy and fulfilled, do I let this bother me so much, nearly two decades later?

To what was the professor referring ? College ? Or a specific major or career ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From time to time this pops up in my head and hurts like it was yesterday. I don’t know why, because even though the couple years that immediately followed were a truly hard and depressing time for me, I ended up finding a career I’m passionate about and I am happy.

I got electives out of the way at a CC and then attended a university in my 20s. My very first final of my very first class, the professor, in front of the whole class after my final presentation told me, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but this just isn’t for you.” I dropped out, felt like such an unteachable loser for YEARS, until I found my calling.

So why, despite being happy and fulfilled, do I let this bother me so much, nearly two decades later?

To what was the professor referring ? College ? Or a specific major or career ?

Major/career path.

[Anonymous]

Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

[Anonymous]

If the professor was correct & you ended up in a different field, then you concern should be about the way the professor let you know as his observation was accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

Which major or career ?

[Anonymous]

It seems a bit ridiculous that you let one comment from one person completely derail you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

Which major or career ?

Graphic design

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

You sound off the rails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

This. OP, you said yourself "I allowed her to shatter it" - you alone are in charge of your own reactions to people. You allowed the professor to affect you. You did not have to allow it. Maybe could not choose differently at the time, but it's still your own reaction that only you are responsible for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

OP here. This is very true, and an interesting point. The Me of today would definitely see it as Option #3: Challenge Accepted. So perhaps it was an important moment of growth for me, and allowed me to become the person I am today.