Why do old people talk about themselves nonstop?

[Anonymous]

I visit my 90 year old neighbor regularly and bring some food occasionally. She is nice, but I basically sit next to her while she talks at me for an hour. I always hear that my generation (millennial) is rude and entitled, but most older people I know have very one-sided conversations. Why is this?

[Anonymous]

Not enough interaction with others to have new things to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I visit my 90 year old neighbor regularly and bring some food occasionally. She is nice, but I basically sit next to her while she talks at me for an hour. I always hear that my generation (millennial) is rude and entitled, but most older people I know have very one-sided conversations. Why is this?

They are running out on time and rarely get people who actually want to listen to them. You are very kind to do that for your neighbor, may someone returns the favor when you are older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I visit my 90 year old neighbor regularly and bring some food occasionally. She is nice, but I basically sit next to her while she talks at me for an hour. I always hear that my generation (millennial) is rude and entitled, but most older people I know have very one-sided conversations. Why is this?

They are running out on time and rarely get people who actually want to listen to them. You are very kind to do that for your neighbor, may someone returns the favor when you are older.

+1

[Anonymous]

My mom talks a lot and most only wants to talk about her ailments and her birth family.

[Anonymous]

They are trying to cover up hearing loss.

Their memory isn't good enough to follow an unfamiliar topic of conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are trying to cover up hearing loss.

Their memory isn't good enough to follow an unfamiliar topic of conversation.

I think this is it for a lot of older folks.

[Anonymous]

They are basically 2 year-olds. Benjamin Button.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Their memory isn't good enough to follow an unfamiliar topic of conversation.

I am wondering if this was what was going on with my dad. I struggled getting together with him, because it was always so one-sided. I heard the same stories about his condo complex over and over. He eventually developed dementia, seemingly out of the blue. But I think he was probably covering it up for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Because of limited exposure to people to talk with and to.

Most normal adults have multiple interactions. You might talk to other parents at the bus stop, or you talk to other adults when you stop for coffee. You have coworkers or you bump into another person in the supermarket and chat, etc. You have multiple interactions throughout the day. And you may tell one anecdote to person A, tell about something that happened to you yesterday or this morning to person B, chat about something important to you to person C. Throughout the day, you have many interactions and you spread it out.

Now typical seniors are not out and about much. And they don't have many people to talk to. So, when they finally get a chance to talk to someone, they talk about the various things that they've had no other opportunity to talk about. They will prioritize talking about themselves. When you talk to many people, you can talk about ice-breaker topics like the weather, current events, books, TV shows, sports, etc. But when you only talk to 1-2 people in a day, like most seniors, they want to talk about what is foremost on their minds, and that is themselves or their ailments. They've had no one else to talk to about these topics and these topics are first and foremost on their minds.

OP, it's so nice of you to spend the time with your neighbor. Without you, she'd have even less opportunity to socialize with anyone or have anyone to talk to. Most humans are social creatures and need at least some, minimal human interaction.

[Anonymous]

Their world contracts and they become self-centered like children. Completely normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their world contracts and they become self-centered like children. Completely normal.

I hope someone in your future isn't as unkind as you are.

[Anonymous]

Because no one ask them about themselves. What makes you think she wants to only hear about Larla scoring a goal in tyke soccer? They have a lifetime of stories to share.

[Anonymous]

IDK, our neighbor has multiple conversations, out on the street walking her dog, many times a day. With all neighbors she only talks about herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IDK, our neighbor has multiple conversations, out on the street walking her dog, many times a day. With all neighbors she only talks about herself.

I mean... does she live alone? Does she engage with the world in ways other than medical appointments? Her life likely centers on walking her dog and dealing with various ailments. While I do think one of the PPs was a bit unkind, it is true that your world can shrink when you become very old. You are likely one of the few opportunities for social engagement this person has. I know hearing about aches and pains for an hour is grating, but its a small act of kindness that you can offer.