Sort of mourning end of BFing

[Anonymous]

I breastfed all 3 of my babies. This 3rd one (now 8.5 months old) it was easiest mainly because both DH and I were working from home and we got into a routine very early on of him giving her one bottle of my milk a day. She's growing up so fast. For the last couple weeks when I breastfed her she would kind of just use it as playtime, making funny noises and trying to get me to play with her while nursing. This was right after I night weaned her and I realized my supply was dropping.

Anyway, it has been a very peaceful and smooth weaning, not like with my 2nd -- he BFd until at least 14 months and it was definitely not as gradual and painless as this time, probably related to the fact that he never really got in to using a bottle.

Anyway. I am feeling a little emotional about it all. This chapter of my life is closed. today was the first day of my baby's life that I did not breastfeed her. She doesn't seem to miss it at all - she's so into food and playing with her siblings and happily drinks from a bottle - but I still am feeling some emotions about it all.

I treated myself to a massage yesterday evening to sort of come to terms with it and allow my body, heart and mind to let it go - now is the time. But I still get emotional about it. It's sort of like the realization that the little baby stage is over - soon she'll be walking off to college....

Bittersweet

[Anonymous]

I know, OP. Hugs. I loved those sweet cuddle and feeding times too. Also understand that your hormones are going nuts right now - your body thinks you’ve forgotten to feed your Mbabane today. The hormones are powerful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, OP. Hugs. I loved those sweet cuddle and feeding times too. Also understand that your hormones are going nuts right now - your body thinks you’ve forgotten to feed your Mbabane today. The hormones are powerful.

Thank you! So true. I almost cried just reading your response. LOL. I definitely can tell it's a hormonal adjustment. Part of my day I felt so much lighter and younger (and less hungry) so that was a positive - but then when I'd think about it I'd cry or have to hold back tears! Thanks for the reminder. I'll have to keep this in mind at work tomorrow - to be gentle on myself and give myself some self love during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sort of like the realization that the little baby stage is over - soon she'll be walking off to college....

Bittersweet

I definitely had similar feelings. On the bright side, now that my younger child is getting ready to apply to college and the older is already there, any sadness over the end of breastfeeding is long gone, just like their tiny fingers and toes! I'm sure that doesn't help with your current sadness, but perhaps it will help you remember that there are lots of lovely stages to go through even after one ends. Parenting is an ongoing series of changes, both good and bad, sweet and bittersweet.

[Anonymous]

Those hormones are powerful. I sobbed my eyes out when I stopped and I desperately wanted to stop! Plus that first PMS was killer.

Hang in there, OP. It gets better pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

I will never remember the feelings when I had to wean my first suddenly, it was like I was possessed. Your entire body and mind is screaming at you to feed your baby. It's really amazing and a bit scary. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

^^i mean forget duh!

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you OP. As you leave one stage, new ones open. I'm just entering the tween years and it's already a ride! Enjoy every moment of being a mom.

[Anonymous]

I nursed both babies till they were 3 yrs old. By that time, it was less BFing and more comforting ritual. I mourned end of BFing for a long time but by the end they were just not interested and I was producing very little.

My youngest is now going to college in Fall. This whole period of raising them just flew by. I have been so happy for him that he is going to college, but I am also ducking in closets and the bathroom and crying that he is leaving. I look at his face and all I want to do is kiss and hug him, but I have to just keep it light and enjoy his excitement about going to college.

[Anonymous]

I hated breastfeeding and I still cried when I stopped officially.

It's an emotional thing. Enjoy your freedom and your happy baby. One day at a time!

[Anonymous]

Same boat.

Monday was my last nursing session with my last baby who is 14 months old. It's sad to have a chapter close, especially since I loved nursing my babies way more than I thought I would.

My best friend is having her first any day and I just packed up all my nursing stuff for her and I sobbed while doing so. I'm hanging on to one nursing nightgown as a keepsake of this time period. I spent many a night in it with all of my babies. hugs.