How to Find Long-Lost Half Siblings
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Anonymous
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My father was not involved in my life. I'm not interested in finding him.
However, a relative told me that he had two children prior to my birth with other women. I'd love to find and meet them. How do I do this? I only have my biological father's first and last name. He was born and lived in the state most of his life, so there's that too. It's an unusual name and a small state, so I hope that works in my favor. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| There are people on Fb who are obsessed with helping others locate long lost families. I forget the group names, but poke around and see if you can find something? |
Anonymous
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Try 23 and Me.
Of course it depends on if your siblings also know you exist and want to find you. But, this happened in my family....and it's been a heartwarming game changer for all. Long lost half sibling found - life changing in all the best ways! good luck! |
Anonymous
| 23 and me or ask the Google and the Facebook. If the last name is unusual and if you have the general location, it should be relatively easy. |
Anonymous
| I would start with ancestrydna instead of 23+me. It has a larger database of test takers and, from my perspective, a better response rate when emailing matches. I have helped two people find their birth families. Good luck. |
Anonymous
This. My mother found her biological father, who was 16 when she was born, through 23 and Me. She identified second and third cousins and found him. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks all. I guess i must be old because I thought maybe people would be pointing me to a Private Investigator. Lol.
If 23 and me is not a match, then any thoughts about what's next? I assume this stuff is trackable through birth records and such. |
Anonymous
Have you tried googling? |
Anonymous
| My adopted sister did dna testing through ancestry and there was a box to check to be out in contact with any dna matches. She found her birth father through it and then connected with him and the rest of her birth family - her mother and two full brothers who were born after her. Her birth parents were teens and forced to give her up, they got married later and had 2 sons (and divorced when they were in college). She has met them all and is starting a relationship with them. |
Anonymous
Op here. Yes, I have. Nothing promising. |
Anonymous
Googling for dad or for the siblings? I’d look for dad first to get possible addresses. Also facebook? |
Anonymous
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Your best bets are to start with DNA services. I found my bio-fathers family through 23andMe and my mother's side through Ancestry, birth records, and Facebook. I would do all of these things in order to ensure you're using the widest net.
W/respect to birth records... I was able to get my pre-adoption birth records because state law (in the state where I was born) allowed it. Many states do not. Further, even in states when you can get such records, you usually have to be one of the people named on the birth certificate in order to get copies. As a sibling, you are unlikely to qualify. You can certainly reach out to the county or state to check, but probably not going to be successful. Do you have any relatives who may remember the names of the other mother or your half-siblings? If you can find a town where they might have lived, you may be able to search high school yearbooks for students with your father's last name. Ancestry has many of these online and searchable now. It's shooting in the dark, but if the community is small (as you say) and the names are unique, it could work. Lastly, just a word of warning. While many people are delighted to find long-lost relatives, rejection is equally common, even from siblings. Some people just can't handle it. Others are suspicious and think you want something from them (a kidney, an inheritance, etc.). You may also discover that your siblings have their own baggage, which you may or may not want in your own life. If your dad is so awful you have no relationship with him, he's unlikely to have been a good parent to your siblings either. They could have all kinds of drama going on as a result of that. Moreover, you have no knowledge of what, if anything, this other family has been told about you. You can't assume it's a blank slate. The fact that you have a bad relationship with your father could mean he's been saying unkind things (true or not) about you to them, possibly for years. Just tread carefully if and when you do make contact. It's not a Hallmark movie. |
Anonymous
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Google the name and the state. THat might give you immediate leads. Try findagrave too - sometimes obits list other names.
I'm with the others who say to go with Ancestry over 23andme if you only choose one. Ancestry has frequent $59 deals; 23andme is more pricey. |
Anonymous
| Has anyone imported their ancestry.com results into another service? I’ve had no hits there but wonder if maybe relatives are on 23, etc. |
Anonymous
| I would create a FamilySearch account, which is free, and start searching vital records in the state using the last name. |