Should I Call CPS on Husband

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

If you call CPS they could potentially remove the kids from both of you since you live together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you call CPS they could potentially remove the kids from both of you since you live together.

Not if op takes the kids and leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she divorces him, and they split custody, then 50% of the time she has ZERO control over how he treats the kids.

At least living together she can provide some protection

This is exactly why women stay with abusive men.

Are there a ton of abusive men who want/fight for 50% custody and then win?

Real question

If the answer is yes, I'd start documenting everything OP to prevent him from getting custody. And then divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good suggestions in this thread.

1. If you involve CPS you are inviting people with guns (or backed up by people with guns) into your house to decide how your family is going to live. They do not answer to you. They are not going to advocate for you. They may decide you’re at fault. CPS is for situations where kids have no one else to act in their favor. Your kids have you.

2. Your husband has a severe mental disorder. He is dangerous, to the kids and to you. He clearly got some very bad ideas from somewhere about how to treat children. Any kind of physical “discipline” beyond maybe a light swat on a padded behind in toddlerhood is inadmissible. Pulling down a child’s pants is inadmissible.

3. Only you can decide if your husband will listen to reason, see a professional, get appropriate medicine, get therapy, or not. If he won’t, it’s time for somebody to leave.

4. Gathering evidence may be a good idea but check the eavesdropping statute in your jurisdiction (one party or two party consent) and get legal advice before you act.

5. Act decisively, because if you are weak or quibble he will roll right over top of you. In this context, people use the excuse of staying with the abuser “to protect the kids.” Most often it’s to protect the non-abusing spouse who’s afraid to leave.

CPS workers don't have guns.

No, but the police officer(s) that accompany the CPS worker to your home does.

You realize how rare it is for a CPS worker to get a police officer to go out to a house and you know how hard it is to get one to go with you (been there, done that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she divorces him, and they split custody, then 50% of the time she has ZERO control over how he treats the kids.

At least living together she can provide some protection

This is exactly why women stay with abusive men.

Are there a ton of abusive men who want/fight for 50% custody and then win?

Real question

If the answer is yes, I'd start documenting everything OP to prevent him from getting custody. And then divorce him.

I don't know the answer, but it sounds like this man is all about his parental right to "discipline" his kids. He sounds like he would try to get custody just because he thinks he is entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm at wits end with my husband’s methods of physical discipline. There is entirely too much yelling & screaming in our house and I’m fed up with him putting his hands on them as punishment. Some examples: slapping back of child’s head (sometimes repeatedly), yanking kid up by arm, pulling ear tightly and talking directly into ear, and spanking bare bottom until red marks. Kids are 8 and 5.

He does not think he is doing anything wrong. When I complain he basically says “I’m not hurting them, and I will discipline my kids!”

Reading this makes me really sad for those babies. 8 and 5.

You need to protect your children, they will remember that you didnt and you don't want to play good cop (you)/bad cop (CPS) by calling CPS. YOU need to get them out of this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the pediatrician. And photograph marks if you can. You and pediatrician can both call.

This. This here is probably the smartest thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the pediatrician. And photograph marks if you can. You and pediatrician can both call.

This. This here is probably the smartest thing to do.

No, it is not. Lawyer first. Then any of this that the lawyer recommends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the pediatrician. And photograph marks if you can. You and pediatrician can both call.

This. This here is probably the smartest thing to do.

The pediatrician is a mandated reporter. This only works if you are ok with the pedi calling CPS.
Talk to a lawyer about your options and possible repercussions, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP still hasn't come back to answer any questions

[Anonymous]

OP, in addition to documenting (and then hiding it well) when your husband is doing these things to your kids, also start making your exit plan. If he has ignored your input to the point of you believing that outside help is the only remedy, you need to get you and the kids out.

visit or call the domestic violence help line:
- thehotline.org
- 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Clear your browser history.

[Anonymous]

Get a divorce and move out. Start there. Limit his access to the kids by court order due to what you perceive as abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the pediatrician. And photograph marks if you can. You and pediatrician can both call.

This. This here is probably the smartest thing to do.

No, it is not. Lawyer first. Then any of this that the lawyer recommends.

You're presuming she has access to a lawyer. If husband should leave marks on the children before she's able to see a lawyer, she should take them to the doctor. This shows her as seeking medical care for her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a divorce and move out. Start there. Limit his access to the kids by court order due to what you perceive as abuse.

This and take the legal advice someone else shares. Let them know what you’re planning to do, ans what the repercussions could be for all involved.