Some questions about adoption!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i see the anti-adoption troll is back, a few posts above. We -- an adoption-formed family -- have been reading her crap on these boards for years.

We have our perfect family -- 3 adopted kids -- one from Vietnam, 2 from Ethiopia. No reason to consider pregnancy when such great kids are out there are waiting for you. That's a quote from my oldest daughter.

Good for you. But there is no need to look down on and feel superior to those who try other means to build their families before turning to adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i see the anti-adoption troll is back, a few posts above. We -- an adoption-formed family -- have been reading her crap on these boards for years.

We have our perfect family -- 3 adopted kids -- one from Vietnam, 2 from Ethiopia. No reason to consider pregnancy when such great kids are out there are waiting for you. That's a quote from my oldest daughter.

You seem to comment referring to an “anti adoption troll” often, but I can tell you that I often post about the coerciveness of the adoption industry and I’m often chiming in among other posts, as I did here in support of the “angry adoptee”. I’m not an adoptee; in the child of a mother who was pressured and ultimately tricked into relinquishing a child and lived a tortured life. I have since met countless young women who have lost their children to adoption more recently, and the situations are different (not Catholic Charities) but the coercion, pressure, guilt, and downright dishonestly are still prevalent. I know it makes adoptive parents here defensive and angry, but I share my own experience. You choose to believe there is just one of us but concerns about the unethical adoption industry are more widespread than you would like to admit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i see the anti-adoption troll is back, a few posts above. We -- an adoption-formed family -- have been reading her crap on these boards for years.

We have our perfect family -- 3 adopted kids -- one from Vietnam, 2 from Ethiopia. No reason to consider pregnancy when such great kids are out there are waiting for you. That's a quote from my oldest daughter.

You seem to comment referring to an “anti adoption troll” often, but I can tell you that I often post about the coerciveness of the adoption industry and I’m often chiming in among other posts, as I did here in support of the “angry adoptee”. I’m not an adoptee; in the child of a mother who was pressured and ultimately tricked into relinquishing a child and lived a tortured life. I have since met countless young women who have lost their children to adoption more recently, and the situations are different (not Catholic Charities) but the coercion, pressure, guilt, and downright dishonestly are still prevalent. I know it makes adoptive parents here defensive and angry, but I share my own experience. You choose to believe there is just one of us but concerns about the unethical adoption industry are more widespread than you would like to admit.

There was a lot of shady stuff with my child's sibling's adoption. Really unethical that we tried to stop. No one was thinking about what the impact on the child was. It was all about money and connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These horrible scenarios are not the ones my large adoption network of families encounter. And yes, we are thoroughly vetted, unlike parents who carry a child directly home from a hospital to a god-knows-what situation.

If any potential adoptive parent has even considered that their adopted child is any less/different/2nd best/whatever to a biological child, they should not be adopting children.

No child should feel like a "consolation prize" -- and that is on the responsibility of the parent. It is not up to any adopted child to "prove" they are as desirable as a natural-born one.

My 2 born-in-Asia daughters KNOW they were my first choice . I never even considered pregnancy.

I know a woman who tried pregnancy, surrogacy, donor egg, -- well, everything -- before "resorting" to adoption. I hope to god her gorgeous smart now-6-year old daughter never finds out the mom did everything possible not to "have to" adopt. Some "parents" are just better not being parents.

And a decent homestudy would explore this dynamic, and weed out such a prospective parent.

No it wouldn't. There has to be something pretty bad to get denied approval of a home study. That is not reason to deny someone.

Adoption was our first choice.

Ours too. When we were dating I told my future husband I fully expected to adopt any future children. My future husband replied "Cool. Which country? " We love our 2 daughters from China beyond belief.

How difficult was your China adoption? I have heard it has become much harder recently. That would be my first choice of a country to adopt from because I speak the language.

[Anonymous]

It has become harder, in part because Chinese people can now adopt within the country (that had not been allowed decades ago). The waits are longer and few healthy babies are available.

If you attend some adoption agency orientations, they will explain the situation in each country that we have a treaty with (that their agency deals with). Adoptions Together is a great place to start.