What’s the worst thing your in laws have done to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering if the pregnancy/birth drama is caused by MILs who had awful pregnancy and birth experiences. My FIL was never present for their births (by his choice), so MIL has a real chip on her shoulder. I bet the other MILs might have the same thing going on.

It’s true in my case. I ended up on hospital bed rest at 28 weeks. DH called his parents to tell them and he knew it would be hard because they lost a child just a few days after birth. He didn’t want to hurt them but he felt he should tell them. The reaction was absolutely terrible. I was laying in the hospital bed with ten tubes pumping me full of drugs and I could hear his father ripping him to shreds through the phone about how he was softpedaling, not telling them the whole truth, that the baby would probably die and he was in denial. It was awful. I was in hospital for 7 weeks and they barely spoke to us. DH asked them to come for the birth (c section) and they declined.

This is really sad for all of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot decide between withholding a payment for a wedding dress that she wanted me to wear for a ceremony in her country (we were broke at the time) or withholding info that my 10 year old came down with Denge fever while on vacation with them.

Why does your dress come before your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot decide between withholding a payment for a wedding dress that she wanted me to wear for a ceremony in her country (we were broke at the time) or withholding info that my 10 year old came down with Denge fever while on vacation with them.

Why does your dress come before your son?

It was not my dress. It was the dress that she made me buy to show off to her friends in her country. She promised to send money right away. I did not have a penny to spare at that time, like I had no money left to buy food for a week. It is not about the desss, in case you missed that point.

[Anonymous]

After 18 years of marriage, my ex cheated with his secretary. I had a solid relationship with my in-laws... Never argued with them, we were very close. My FIL immediately said "he's an adult, he's going to do what he's going to do" and stopped interacting with me. My MIL was and is still close with me, but she also agreed to meet the secretary and had dinner with them within weeks of the discovery of the affair. Even as she repeatedly said how immortal it was and how he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

Just shocking how quickly people you consider family will replace you.

[Anonymous]

Immoral, not immortal. Lol

[Anonymous]

I was 29 when I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I didn’t really feel like telling people that I didn’t feel close to. We told our family not to share until we were ready. It was also right before the holidays in 2016. My mother in law thought others would think its weird that my husband and I weren’t showing up to things so she told all of her friends. Then she lied about telling everyone. We have a relationship but it is strained as hell.

The kicker is my sister in law has since gone through A miscarriage and mil has kept that secret. And my brother is going through treatment for opioids and she’s kept that a secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 29 when I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I didn’t really feel like telling people that I didn’t feel close to. We told our family not to share until we were ready. It was also right before the holidays in 2016. My mother in law thought others would think its weird that my husband and I weren’t showing up to things so she told all of her friends. Then she lied about telling everyone. We have a relationship but it is strained as hell.

The kicker is my sister in law has since gone through A miscarriage and mil has kept that secret. And my brother is going through treatment for opioids and she’s kept that a secret.

That’s awful.

Why would she need to know about your brother?

[Anonymous]

My in laws are pretty awesome. DH's parents were divorced, and have both been remarried for 30+ years, so I have 2 sets of in laws.

The only things I can think of:

1) step-MIL once invited me to lunch and then had a chat with me that was basically encouraging me to have a relationship with my stepfather, who I cut off years ago after he tried to molest me as a teen/hit on me as an adult

2) step-MIL recently babysat, and left my 1-year-old upstairs alone, with the gate open, for an extended period of time. So this was not done "to me" but -- I'm pretty upset about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 29 when I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I didn’t really feel like telling people that I didn’t feel close to. We told our family not to share until we were ready. It was also right before the holidays in 2016. My mother in law thought others would think its weird that my husband and I weren’t showing up to things so she told all of her friends. Then she lied about telling everyone. We have a relationship but it is strained as hell.

The kicker is my sister in law has since gone through A miscarriage and mil has kept that secret. And my brother is going through treatment for opioids and she’s kept that a secret.

Just another take, sounds like she learned her lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL would says horrible things about women in general. Like "all women should be beat." When I went to the gym, he said to my husband, "it's like she has a boyfriend or something" (I have always worked out).

Earlier this year, he picked a fight with me about directions. I said three times I was not having a conversation about it. Then he physically approached me with his iPad (after I said I don't want to see your iPad) and continued to engage (which I felt to be bullying me in my own house). My husband sat there and said nothing. I yelled at my FIL "I am not having this conversation!" and left the room.

Afterward, he instructed his wife, which she did, when I said "sorry for yelling. safe travels" in a text message to him to respond to me with an awful text message back to me criticizing my parents, comparing me to my mentally ill mother and making unwarranted and untrue comments about my husband and I.

Immediately when they left, my husband threatened me with a a divorce (not the first time). I really do want one now. I am not visiting them for Christmas and told my husband I never intend to see them again.

You sound just as bad as they do.

PP here: Why do I sound just as bad as they do? Because I was defending myself and yelled at the fourth time of being baited into an argument? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL would says horrible things about women in general. Like "all women should be beat." When I went to the gym, he said to my husband, "it's like she has a boyfriend or something" (I have always worked out).

Earlier this year, he picked a fight with me about directions. I said three times I was not having a conversation about it. Then he physically approached me with his iPad (after I said I don't want to see your iPad) and continued to engage (which I felt to be bullying me in my own house). My husband sat there and said nothing. I yelled at my FIL "I am not having this conversation!" and left the room.

Afterward, he instructed his wife, which she did, when I said "sorry for yelling. safe travels" in a text message to him to respond to me with an awful text message back to me criticizing my parents, comparing me to my mentally ill mother and making unwarranted and untrue comments about my husband and I.

Immediately when they left, my husband threatened me with a a divorce (not the first time). I really do want one now. I am not visiting them for Christmas and told my husband I never intend to see them again.

You sound just as bad as they do.

PP here: Why do I sound just as bad as they do? Because I was defending myself and yelled at the fourth time of being baited into an argument? WTF?

dp: You don’t sound at all like the FIL. You are not the one saying mean things and you apologized for yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL would says horrible things about women in general. Like "all women should be beat." When I went to the gym, he said to my husband, "it's like she has a boyfriend or something" (I have always worked out).

Earlier this year, he picked a fight with me about directions. I said three times I was not having a conversation about it. Then he physically approached me with his iPad (after I said I don't want to see your iPad) and continued to engage (which I felt to be bullying me in my own house). My husband sat there and said nothing. I yelled at my FIL "I am not having this conversation!" and left the room.

Afterward, he instructed his wife, which she did, when I said "sorry for yelling. safe travels" in a text message to him to respond to me with an awful text message back to me criticizing my parents, comparing me to my mentally ill mother and making unwarranted and untrue comments about my husband and I.

Immediately when they left, my husband threatened me with a a divorce (not the first time). I really do want one now. I am not visiting them for Christmas and told my husband I never intend to see them again.

You sound just as bad as they do.

What a jerk response. Np here. PP I get it. He sounds horrible. Your dh sounds horrible. No one who loves you would expect you to take that asshattery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"First you steal my son away, now you won't give me grandchildren! You're so selfish!"

So, among other things that have occurred/been said, I keep my distance.

Do we have the same MIL? I know that is impossible as my DH is an only child, but the words are almost verbatim.

I think I had one of these, which I never understood. Never learned to drive, expected everyone to drop everything to fix her house, take her to the store, etc. Never a card when we were married, nor a gift or on holidays. The excuse was their family was just too big. Ok fine, but no acknowledgement of a baby announcement? Every Mothers Day she expected to be taken to the nice restaurant by all her kids regardless if they were married with their own families. That last Mother's Day I made sure to let everyone know WE were expecting. A very gossipy family, it made the rounds at the restaurant around the large table we reserved. Definitely stole her thunder, but I would think she would have been happy.
Why are some of these MILs so jealous instead of embracing their new family members? It's a lesson NOT to behave that way because it only alienates.

OP of this particular quote tree. Mine just can't fathom that someone would live their life differently then her. DH comes from a.large extended family and by and large, none of them ever left the Greater Dying Rustbelt City Metro Area they hail from. Those that do (DH being one of them) are given the side eye. So for me and DH to have met thousands of miles away and then decide to make our home in a very remote location when we married.......not a decision MIL could wrap her head around. Then we moved to DC. If we were going to move from our little rural mountain town, why would we ever move to DC when we could move to DH's hometown where all the family is? Clearly, DH had zero say and agency in the DC move, it was all my evil doing.

And then there's the grandkid issue. I mean, who in their right mind would WAIT to have children? And didn't I know how badly she wanted to be a grandmother? Graduate programs and careers are no excuse!

If I had just moved to their hometown and started popping out babies right away. MIL would be fine with me.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have been kind and welcoming. The worst thing they’ve done is be slightly annoying once in a blue moon.

My parents on the other hand? I could write a book about all the crap they’ve done. My poor husband. I honestly didn’t realize how bad it was until I got married and saw how a normal family functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my DH told them he was going to propose, my MILs reaction was “don’t you think that’s a little soon?”

We all laugh about it now. That’s the only time my in-laws have done or said anything even remotely questionable. My MIL is kind and respectful of boundaries to a fault, and I’m pretty sure she likes me now.

When my boyfriend of 5 years called my parents (who lived across the country so no face to face was possible) to ask for their permission to propose their response was "Well we really wanted her to live on her own for a while, but I guess it is ok." We have now been married for 18 years and have had more issues over the years with how my parents react to news. Things like when we told them I was pregnant with our second child they said "are you sure you want to do that?" They love our children but are just horrible with reactions. By the time we were expecting our 4th child we told them in writing and suggested they think about their reaction before they called us.

When my DH told MIL that he was going to propose she offered him to propose with the fake ring. She said I won’t know any better anyways.

Who are these shitty spouses that are telling their partner all these terrible comments?? Some things are best not repeated.