ANTI-CHILDREN wedding? can't even bring children to the resort even if you have your own babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, if it was sent to you, then it was aimed at you.

As a former wedding planner, I can tell you that this is a huge problem for couples getting married. Maybe you will be the ones who abide by their rules, but
1.) if any of their relatives see you at the resort with your kids, then the couple will hear about it for the rest of their lives.
2.) You did put the groom in an awkward position. You didn't ask, you told, and it is their wedding, not yours.
3.) Most parents say, "oh, our kids won't be there/they won't be a bother" etc., but one of you will be leaving the festivities every night because of your kids, and basically you'll be treating this as a family vacation with wedding activities, but they wanted everyone to go, focus on the fun, and have it be about them, and honestly, that was their right.

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but there is one couple at every wedding who completely disregards the bride and groom's wishes, and you're it for this one.

Why do we have to agree to all of their wishes? They are getting married - it's only a wedding - they don't rule the world. Or even the decision for a family to vacation - whether that coincides with the wedding or not.

[Anonymous]

Because it's THEIR wishes about THEIR wedding. If you don't want to abide by their requests about their wedding, then don't go. Simple.

It is uncomfortable enough to make requests such as the one they made (again, about THEIR wedding). When people completely disregard those requests, it makes it stressful. And your job as guest is to not stress them out; their job as host is to clearly express their expectations and then to ensure that you have a good time when you agree to them.

[Anonymous]

"Because it's THEIR wishes about THEIR wedding. If you don't want to abide by their requests about their wedding, then don't go. Simple. "

The wedding is the part where an officiant performs a service that renders the couple married. The reception is the party afterwards. The hosts (bride, groom, their parents, whoever) get to decide who's invited to those.

The time surrounding the wedding belongs to the guests, to spend as they wish, with whomever they wish.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this 16:49 poster is not helpful at all (and nasty too)
Get over it. The OP worked it out and it is fine for everyone. Why do you care so much? Because you just like to make people feel bad? SHE knows the couple. Not you. And yes. she can take her kids on vacation wherever she wants to - she is respecting the wishes of the couple for the wedding and related events. If the couple was getting married in Arlington would they tell her not to bring her kids into the county the weekend of their wedding?

[Anonymous]

Poster-thank god someone else has some class-I felt like I was the only one writing about how rude this girl was. I understand that some people feel weddings should be a certain way..that is fine as they got to have their own weddings..large or small..fancy or not ..as they decided. As always, a guest who doesn't like the rules, doesn't have to attend--they can bad mouth the wedding couple to the high heavens but they shouldn't impose what they think is right at the wedding that is not theirs..they had their day. And no a destination wedding is so much more involved than the ceremony and even the reception. Maybe this person thinks she is getting away with something but she isn't..she is putting the wedding couple in a weird place. As I stated about my own wedding where I had to deal with people who insisted that their kids come, I did have some people ask why so and sos kids could come and not theirs. Finally, I told the truth--that they forced me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poster-thank god someone else has some class-I felt like I was the only one writing about how rude this girl was. I understand that some people feel weddings should be a certain way..that is fine as they got to have their own weddings..large or small..fancy or not ..as they decided. As always, a guest who doesn't like the rules, doesn't have to attend--they can bad mouth the wedding couple to the high heavens but they shouldn't impose what they think is right at the wedding that is not theirs..they had their day. And no a destination wedding is so much more involved than the ceremony and even the reception. Maybe this person thinks she is getting away with something but she isn't..she is putting the wedding couple in a weird place. As I stated about my own wedding where I had to deal with people who insisted that their kids come, I did have some people ask why so and sos kids could come and not theirs. Finally, I told the truth--that they forced me.

oh my god, get over it! it is NOT a destination wedding for goodness sakes! it is in freaking maine! as i had sad before the email wasn't about not bringing the kids. it was a save the date email with a link to the bride and groom's website. it is then after reading on their website that is says arrange for babysitters. listen i talked to my husband about it before sending the email and he said he was under the impression that they just didn't want kids at the wedding events and he never heard that they didn't want kids at the resort. so he thinks i was misreading it as it did not say "don't bring kids to the resort." anyway, like i said his friend is the bluntest person in the world and has never caved or been put in an impolite position. he always speaks up and says what is on his mind, so he would say if he didn't want us at the resort. by the way, we aren't actually going to be in the midst of the wedding area, as i stated we are renting a villa on the premises of the resort! not going to the wedding isn't an option, as he is a good friend of my husbands. it isn't something we can just skip out on. noone will know our kids are there except for us! i am not a rude girl. in fact i am a thoughtful person that is trying to make this situation work for everyone. don't judge me for caring enough about being there to try to make it work. believe me his friend would never forgive us if we missed the wedding and we don't have family or nannies that we leave our children with! get over miss wedding planner! by the way, we didn't want kids at our wedding and a few showed up and you know what? we were so happy about getting married and about being with our loved ones that we never noticed and never cared when we found out! the end!

[Anonymous]

Amen! Good for you OP. Have a great time!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Sorry but if you were so caring--why didn't you let your husband handle? Why also didn't you ask him point blank if it was okay instead of letting him know your plans. In the back of your mind you were doing this to make sure you got your way regardless of your plans. Truth hurts.

[Anonymous]

To the wedding planner: I hope you advise your clients that they should be gracious to those who opt out of attending.

A wedding is a party. It's the marriage that's important!!!

[Anonymous]

OP - I am convinced it is the same person posting all these nasty posts at you.
I can not imagine why she is so hostile towards you - someone she does not know re a wedding she should not care about. Please do not listen to her. Maybe she had a horrible wedding or something. You go and have a good time and don't worry about all this stupid crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am convinced it is the same person posting all these nasty posts at you.
I can not imagine why she is so hostile towards you - someone she does not know re a wedding she should not care about. Please do not listen to her. Maybe she had a horrible wedding or something. You go and have a good time and don't worry about all this stupid crap.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

I can hardly believe this question deserved 115 reponses. Wow OP, I guess you have heard just about every opinion out there. Did it help?

[Anonymous]

Wow, you people are All. Just. Clueless.

You all seem to collectively think that every child rule or request applies to everyone BUT you.

Know that it does.

Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you people are All. Just. Clueless.

You all seem to collectively think that every child rule or request applies to everyone BUT you.

Know that it does.

Carry on.

not sure what you are talking about? however you seem oddly angry.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. The 19:06 poster was OP, yes? So your original post said that they sent you a rude email. Your latest post gave a totally different impression of the bride and groom's communication. Oh well, whatever, looks like problem solved.