A friend/neighbor treated my teenage daughter like a slave when she babysat for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Test the free market OP. What does the mall pay these days? Or waitressing? GL.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paying her $12/hr to put some clothes in the washing machine and dryer is not "treating her like a slave".

Work for her or don't work for her but get some perspective.

Sorry. She's paying $12 an hour which is more than most teens get for real jobs. (My son earns $8 as a lifeguard, for example, where he's also responsible for cleaning toilets.) If she or you feel doing actual work for that amount is beneath her, don't take the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paying her $12/hr to put some clothes in the washing machine and dryer is not "treating her like a slave".

Work for her or don't work for her but get some perspective.

Agree'd.

[Anonymous]

There are a couple of ways this could have played out. It could be that the girl was asked casually to wipe down a shelf or throw out some leftovers or something like other posters have posited, sure. It could be entitled and dramatic.

But there is also the possibility of a power dynamic at play where an adult who is a friend of the teen's mom used her leverage to pressure the girl into doing tasks she was not prepared to do...and frankly if that's what happened, it's icky. OP, you've gotten good advice here about ensuring your daughter sets boundaries and learns when they are not being respected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-turned-13 year old babysat for three children (9 months, 6, and 10) today and was asked to load the dishwasher and wash the remaining dishes by hand when the baby went down for his nap, and then to fold the laundry after doing the dishes. She made $8/hour and was thrilled to make this money - on top of the other $84 she had already made this week for other babysitting jobs.

I don't even ask those things of our au pair, but I thought it was a great lesson that will help my daughter better understand the value of a dollar. She now knows what it means to work and understands that children are hard work, housework is even harder, and both together are extremely hard. I told her I had no problem telling the family that it's too much to ask of her on top of watching three children, if she wanted me to, but she said she was fine with it and, again, was thrilled at the money. She agreed to go back next Thursday again.

It teachers how to be underpaid. I know professional baby sitters who will charge you $25+/hour for the same work.

THAT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a couple of ways this could have played out. It could be that the girl was asked casually to wipe down a shelf or throw out some leftovers or something like other posters have posited, sure. It could be entitled and dramatic.

But there is also the possibility of a power dynamic at play where an adult who is a friend of the teen's mom used her leverage to pressure the girl into doing tasks she was not prepared to do...and frankly if that's what happened, it's icky. OP, you've gotten good advice here about ensuring your daughter sets boundaries and learns when they are not being respected.

This happened to my teen and it was indeed icky. She was 13 and thou she had to do what an Adult asked her. I did not think it was cute or appropriate but I did see it as a learning experience for my dr. people will take advantage and once you have identified one you know to stay away. That is not the kind of job my 13 year old needed. I had no respect for that parent

[Anonymous]

As an employer I do not like to work with teens. At $12+ hr I can find an adult to do it. A teen always comes with a parent sayin she has to come home after 10, let me I interview you, you live too far away, We only work with friends. Etc Which is fine I just don't want to do it. There are plenty of adults who will work for around that without bringing ther parents with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned. Maybe you can help your daughter come up with some documents she gives new families:

- What you can expect from me while babysitting & prices/how to schedule
- Emergency contact & health information form for parents to fill out
- Extra services offered with prices (if she wants to do that stuff for extra money - she could make a killing!)

I would be super impressed by a teenage babysitter who had those three documents for me and would likely go ahead and book some of her extra services happily.

Great advice. Feel free to also include a section entitled "what I will NOT do" since there is no telling what people will want / expect/ try to get away with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-turned-13 year old babysat for three children (9 months, 6, and 10) today and was asked to load the dishwasher and wash the remaining dishes by hand when the baby went down for his nap, and then to fold the laundry after doing the dishes. She made $8/hour and was thrilled to make this money - on top of the other $84 she had already made this week for other babysitting jobs.

I don't even ask those things of our au pair, but I thought it was a great lesson that will help my daughter better understand the value of a dollar. She now knows what it means to work and understands that children are hard work, housework is even harder, and both together are extremely hard. I told her I had no problem telling the family that it's too much to ask of her on top of watching three children, if she wanted me to, but she said she was fine with it and, again, was thrilled at the money. She agreed to go back next Thursday again.

It teachers how to be underpaid. I know professional baby sitters who will charge you $25+/hour for the same work.

THAT!

I also know some who get $25/hr, but they don't do housekeeping.

[Anonymous]

1. Doing some kid related housework while the kids sleep is TOTALLY fine in my book, especially for $12 an hour. That is a very good rate and more than minimum wage workers make. Perspective please. Your daughter needs to learn to communicate what work she will and will not do. Work she is not willing to do she can decline doing. She needs to learn to stand up for herself.
2. Being an hour late is unacceptable but as long as they paid for that hour it's not horrific. Your daughter needs to learn to call her employers if they ever are over 10 minutes late to check in and state upfront that they should call her if they ever are late.
3. Doing the laundry I assume means putting it into the washer and maybe taming it out and putting it into the dryer...sorry but that's nothing. I don't even consider that actual work as long as it was done when the kids were already sleeping and she didn't have to multi-task. Cleaning out the fridge is odd but again...communication.

All in all she wasn't treated like a slave. Not even close. She was paid VERY well. Especially for her age and current minimum wage rates! You need to sit down with your daughter and talk over her rate, the work she would be willing to do for it and how to say no or negotiate. That is what self employment means.

When I babysat I did so for $5/hour. I would always eat dinner with the kids, clean up dinner, do dishes, load/unload dishwasher, clean up toys/kids bedrooms and then do whatever I felt like doing on top of that. Anything kid related to do in the home felt like I COULD do it if I felt like it/got bored/wanted to be extra nice that evening or whatever. It is ALL about communication. If the people asked your daughter to do the laundry/clean the fridge and she says "Yes, sure." how on earth are they supposed to know she doesn't want to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I can't believe you posted here instead of discussing this with me.

I hope this is real.

Its not, but I always wonder if the party being complained about is also on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This just happened to my son, who was pet sitting and watering gardens. Only paid 2.50 a visit, when we were there for at 40 minutes. He's a minor, so I helped, but I was stunned when she handed me the $$$. I gave him an $20, along with the $10, which was for 4 visits.

Your daughter was taken advantage of, clearly.

This is the problem....kids today know they don't really have to work because Mommy will come along and supplement their income. Really, PP, do you expect to help out your son like this for the rest of his life?

In my teens in the late '60's and early '70's I baby-sat for $.50 an hour and was happy to have the job. I busted my butt doing all sorts of tasks after the kids were in bed because I wanted the family to hire me again. My friends were doing the same thing and we competed to see who could have the most clients. We knew that none of our parents would be supplementing our income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Doing some kid related housework while the kids sleep is TOTALLY fine in my book, especially for $12 an hour. That is a very good rate and more than minimum wage workers make. Perspective please. Your daughter needs to learn to communicate what work she will and will not do. Work she is not willing to do she can decline doing. She needs to learn to stand up for herself.
2. Being an hour late is unacceptable but as long as they paid for that hour it's not horrific. Your daughter needs to learn to call her employers if they ever are over 10 minutes late to check in and state upfront that they should call her if they ever are late.
3. Doing the laundry I assume means putting it into the washer and maybe taming it out and putting it into the dryer...sorry but that's nothing. I don't even consider that actual work as long as it was done when the kids were already sleeping and she didn't have to multi-task. Cleaning out the fridge is odd but again...communication.

All in all she wasn't treated like a slave. Not even close. She was paid VERY well. Especially for her age and current minimum wage rates! You need to sit down with your daughter and talk over her rate, the work she would be willing to do for it and how to say no or negotiate. That is what self employment means.

When I babysat I did so for $5/hour. I would always eat dinner with the kids, clean up dinner, do dishes, load/unload dishwasher, clean up toys/kids bedrooms and then do whatever I felt like doing on top of that. Anything kid related to do in the home felt like I COULD do it if I felt like it/got bored/wanted to be extra nice that evening or whatever. It is ALL about communication. If the people asked your daughter to do the laundry/clean the fridge and she says "Yes, sure." how on earth are they supposed to know she doesn't want to do it?

I did all that too so I am surprised by the complaints. I'd always clean up the kitchen, after the kids and anything obvious without touching personal things. I never set a rate but I always got calls and paid far more than I expected. I never did laundry but had no issue doing it. Common sense is to do a little more to set yourself apart from someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this is way more than minimum wage? For $8 an hour, McDonalds employees are cleaning the bathrooms and scrubbing machines when it's slow. I don't think it was unexpected. I always did dishes when I babysat and made sure the playroom was immaculate. What else would I do when the kids were asleep?

If she doesn't like the money, ask for more. If she doesn't like the jobs, say no. It's all up to her.

Are you fucking crazy?

[Anonymous]

Oh, aside from OP's dramatic language, the issue is expectations. A babysitter is nominally tasked with watching the kids. When I was younger, the expectation was, after the kids went to bed, I was there only for problems: make sure the kids were safe, and if one woke up help them. I usually did my homework. But, I was paid $2.50 /hr (in 1976-1979).

Now, if you want to know what being treated like a slave means: Chaining in the basement. Beating if you are not happy...treating you like they own you with no compensation.