Waiving child support for primary custody

[Anonymous]

40% out of the gate

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm#:~:text=Number%20of%20live%20births%20to,Birth%20data

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has them every weekend and you have them before and after work during the week, you are probably both spending about equal amounts of time with them / actively engaged and parenting. He might even be spending more time with the kids if he has Friday evening and all day Saturday and Sunday and you are spending Mon-Fri before work and Mon to Thurs after work. So forgoing child support makes sense. The time spent with kids is about 50/50 even if the official custody wouldn't be as it uses overnights.

It would be really stupid to give him every weekend. Is he going to take the kids to extracurriculars? Is he going to take them to friends birthday parties and play dates? If he has to drive along way to facilitate those activities it seems doubtful. I don’t know how old the kids are, but this type of stuff becomes increasingly important throughout elementary and especially in middle school.

if he’s lazy or selfish he simply will not take them to their activities on his days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:40% out of the gate

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm#:~:text=Number%20of%20live%20births%20to,Birth%20data

Millennials and GenZ are marrying less than previous generations. This data doesn’t say what you’re pretending it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea and sounds like he is trying to get you to accept less money in order to have a custody arrangement that just makes sense. Is he really going to drive them from another county to go to school? Or is he threatening to pull them from their current school to also get you to accept less in child support? If you're the parent living in the child's current school district you have reasonable odds of getting what you want without giving up more money.

Think long and hard about the consequences of giving up more than you or your kids deserve in terms of money. I'm currently in my 50s caring for my mother in her 80s and she's running out of money...I just realized all along my mom could have claimed a portion of my dad's social security benefits, but never did. My mom also focused on getting full custody and didn't ask for a portion of his retirement savings either. She's been fine but has been tight on money her whole retirement because she didn't start saving for retirement until after their divorce when she was in her 40s. Just don't leave money you're entitled to on the table while you're also taking on more of the child care burden as well!

How is she taking on more of the child care burden? Why does she deserve it? Dad is actively involved and spending considerable time each week with the kids. He is working full time and his weekends are entirely spent with the kids. He could have the kids 3 nights a week if he drives them to school Monday morning. OP is working full time and has her weekends free. Given most attorneys work fairly long hours, the amount of time she is spending with her kids each day is likely only a few hours. Dad may be doing a lot more running around, extracurriculars, getting what they need during the weekend than mom is before or after school.

This whole he is a man - stick it to him, try to get as much as you can out of him, he should be paying for everything, treat him badly, mentality on this thread is sad. So many people let their sexist views drive their decision making.

Why should he get all the weekends and none of the sick days or doctors appts or soccer practices? You’re insane if you think that people wanting a fair split are “sticking it” to him because he’s a man.

You need to go into the threads where women are complaining about the weekend and not having help or their husband being away and reiterate your view that weekends are nothing but bliss and fun and are not 'real' parenting. You must think those women are just absolutely pathetic - why would they need or want any help on a weekend when they don't have to parent and they should simply love every minute of being a mom who can spend the weekend playing and having fun.

Here’s the thing. Most men DO NOT CARE, and certainly not enough to DO ANYTHING about it.
They don’t care if their kid doesn’t do anything on the weekends, what program they play for, what school program they’re in, what friends they have or don’t have, what team they make, if they study or not, if they eat decent foods or not. They just don’t care. Usually because some other adult around does care and take action.

They just want to be left alone, leave everyone else alone, and called a Good Dad.

What are you talking about? Why are you so hostile to men? I hope you don't have sons. Most men do care and are good husbands and fathers. Most men do take their kids to school, pick them up, take them to the doctor, activities and more. Just because you married a dud doesn't mean all men are that way. Stop the men and dad hate. And, pick a better man next time.

No, that's most WOMEN. Most MOMS. You know, the people who do the vast majority of child care.

No. It’s most whiners here that chose bad partners. But get out into the world and open your eyes, there are dads everywhere parenting their kids.

Are there dads everywhere? Sure. Are they parenting? L O L.

The overwhelming majority of childcare is done by women. Your refusal to acknowledge that shows how blind and biased you are. You won’t even admit the truth, so stay in your abnormal bubble.

Nah you’re just trolling at this point with your same repetitive rhetoric.

Reality bites.

Unf the children are who get the short end of the stick when they only have one involved parent and one facetime-only uninvolved parent.

For you who made a poor choice for a partner and father of her children, yes. Thankfully your experience is not what the majority of women and children experience.

Considering over 30% of children are born out of wedlock and have absentee fathers + the other hit or miss 70%, that does not seem likely at all.

Do you just make up fake stats about fathers? Or other subjects too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40% out of the gate

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm#:~:text=Number%20of%20live%20births%20to,Birth%20data

Millennials and GenZ are marrying less than previous generations. This data doesn’t say what you’re pretending it does.

40% of USA children are born to single mothers. No father.

You can choose to pretend to believe those are all rich SMBC or you can accept the reality that the dude hit & run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea and sounds like he is trying to get you to accept less money in order to have a custody arrangement that just makes sense. Is he really going to drive them from another county to go to school? Or is he threatening to pull them from their current school to also get you to accept less in child support? If you're the parent living in the child's current school district you have reasonable odds of getting what you want without giving up more money.

Think long and hard about the consequences of giving up more than you or your kids deserve in terms of money. I'm currently in my 50s caring for my mother in her 80s and she's running out of money...I just realized all along my mom could have claimed a portion of my dad's social security benefits, but never did. My mom also focused on getting full custody and didn't ask for a portion of his retirement savings either. She's been fine but has been tight on money her whole retirement because she didn't start saving for retirement until after their divorce when she was in her 40s. Just don't leave money you're entitled to on the table while you're also taking on more of the child care burden as well!

How is she taking on more of the child care burden? Why does she deserve it? Dad is actively involved and spending considerable time each week with the kids. He is working full time and his weekends are entirely spent with the kids. He could have the kids 3 nights a week if he drives them to school Monday morning. OP is working full time and has her weekends free. Given most attorneys work fairly long hours, the amount of time she is spending with her kids each day is likely only a few hours. Dad may be doing a lot more running around, extracurriculars, getting what they need during the weekend than mom is before or after school.

This whole he is a man - stick it to him, try to get as much as you can out of him, he should be paying for everything, treat him badly, mentality on this thread is sad. So many people let their sexist views drive their decision making.

Why should he get all the weekends and none of the sick days or doctors appts or soccer practices? You’re insane if you think that people wanting a fair split are “sticking it” to him because he’s a man.

You need to go into the threads where women are complaining about the weekend and not having help or their husband being away and reiterate your view that weekends are nothing but bliss and fun and are not 'real' parenting. You must think those women are just absolutely pathetic - why would they need or want any help on a weekend when they don't have to parent and they should simply love every minute of being a mom who can spend the weekend playing and having fun.

Here’s the thing. Most men DO NOT CARE, and certainly not enough to DO ANYTHING about it.
They don’t care if their kid doesn’t do anything on the weekends, what program they play for, what school program they’re in, what friends they have or don’t have, what team they make, if they study or not, if they eat decent foods or not. They just don’t care. Usually because some other adult around does care and take action.

They just want to be left alone, leave everyone else alone, and called a Good Dad.

What are you talking about? Why are you so hostile to men? I hope you don't have sons. Most men do care and are good husbands and fathers. Most men do take their kids to school, pick them up, take them to the doctor, activities and more. Just because you married a dud doesn't mean all men are that way. Stop the men and dad hate. And, pick a better man next time.

No, that's most WOMEN. Most MOMS. You know, the people who do the vast majority of child care.

No. It’s most whiners here that chose bad partners. But get out into the world and open your eyes, there are dads everywhere parenting their kids.

Are there dads everywhere? Sure. Are they parenting? L O L.

The overwhelming majority of childcare is done by women. Your refusal to acknowledge that shows how blind and biased you are. You won’t even admit the truth, so stay in your abnormal bubble.

Nah you’re just trolling at this point with your same repetitive rhetoric.

Reality bites.

Unf the children are who get the short end of the stick when they only have one involved parent and one facetime-only uninvolved parent.

For you who made a poor choice for a partner and father of her children, yes. Thankfully your experience is not what the majority of women and children experience.

Considering over 30% of children are born out of wedlock and have absentee fathers + the other hit or miss 70%, that does not seem likely at all.

Do you just make up fake stats about fathers? Or other subjects too?

It’s shot up to 40% the last few years. No longer 20 or 30%.
Layer in the divorced dads who leave entirely and you have an over 40% figure of children with no bio father in their day to day life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea and sounds like he is trying to get you to accept less money in order to have a custody arrangement that just makes sense. Is he really going to drive them from another county to go to school? Or is he threatening to pull them from their current school to also get you to accept less in child support? If you're the parent living in the child's current school district you have reasonable odds of getting what you want without giving up more money.

Think long and hard about the consequences of giving up more than you or your kids deserve in terms of money. I'm currently in my 50s caring for my mother in her 80s and she's running out of money...I just realized all along my mom could have claimed a portion of my dad's social security benefits, but never did. My mom also focused on getting full custody and didn't ask for a portion of his retirement savings either. She's been fine but has been tight on money her whole retirement because she didn't start saving for retirement until after their divorce when she was in her 40s. Just don't leave money you're entitled to on the table while you're also taking on more of the child care burden as well!

How is she taking on more of the child care burden? Why does she deserve it? Dad is actively involved and spending considerable time each week with the kids. He is working full time and his weekends are entirely spent with the kids. He could have the kids 3 nights a week if he drives them to school Monday morning. OP is working full time and has her weekends free. Given most attorneys work fairly long hours, the amount of time she is spending with her kids each day is likely only a few hours. Dad may be doing a lot more running around, extracurriculars, getting what they need during the weekend than mom is before or after school.

This whole he is a man - stick it to him, try to get as much as you can out of him, he should be paying for everything, treat him badly, mentality on this thread is sad. So many people let their sexist views drive their decision making.

Why should he get all the weekends and none of the sick days or doctors appts or soccer practices? You’re insane if you think that people wanting a fair split are “sticking it” to him because he’s a man.

You need to go into the threads where women are complaining about the weekend and not having help or their husband being away and reiterate your view that weekends are nothing but bliss and fun and are not 'real' parenting. You must think those women are just absolutely pathetic - why would they need or want any help on a weekend when they don't have to parent and they should simply love every minute of being a mom who can spend the weekend playing and having fun.

Here’s the thing. Most men DO NOT CARE, and certainly not enough to DO ANYTHING about it.
They don’t care if their kid doesn’t do anything on the weekends, what program they play for, what school program they’re in, what friends they have or don’t have, what team they make, if they study or not, if they eat decent foods or not. They just don’t care. Usually because some other adult around does care and take action.

They just want to be left alone, leave everyone else alone, and called a Good Dad.

What are you talking about? Why are you so hostile to men? I hope you don't have sons. Most men do care and are good husbands and fathers. Most men do take their kids to school, pick them up, take them to the doctor, activities and more. Just because you married a dud doesn't mean all men are that way. Stop the men and dad hate. And, pick a better man next time.

No, that's most WOMEN. Most MOMS. You know, the people who do the vast majority of child care.

No. It’s most whiners here that chose bad partners. But get out into the world and open your eyes, there are dads everywhere parenting their kids.

Are there dads everywhere? Sure. Are they parenting? L O L.

The overwhelming majority of childcare is done by women. Your refusal to acknowledge that shows how blind and biased you are. You won’t even admit the truth, so stay in your abnormal bubble.

Nah you’re just trolling at this point with your same repetitive rhetoric.

Reality bites.

Unf the children are who get the short end of the stick when they only have one involved parent and one facetime-only uninvolved parent.

For you who made a poor choice for a partner and father of her children, yes. Thankfully your experience is not what the majority of women and children experience.

Considering over 30% of children are born out of wedlock and have absentee fathers + the other hit or miss 70%, that does not seem likely at all.

Do you just make up fake stats about fathers? Or other subjects too?

Who you calling a father?

Some sperm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40% out of the gate

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm#:~:text=Number%20of%20live%20births%20to,Birth%20data

Millennials and GenZ are marrying less than previous generations. This data doesn’t say what you’re pretending it does.

40% of USA children are born to single mothers. No father.

You can choose to pretend to believe those are all rich SMBC or you can accept the reality that the dude hit & run.

You understand that single means not married, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea and sounds like he is trying to get you to accept less money in order to have a custody arrangement that just makes sense. Is he really going to drive them from another county to go to school? Or is he threatening to pull them from their current school to also get you to accept less in child support? If you're the parent living in the child's current school district you have reasonable odds of getting what you want without giving up more money.

Think long and hard about the consequences of giving up more than you or your kids deserve in terms of money. I'm currently in my 50s caring for my mother in her 80s and she's running out of money...I just realized all along my mom could have claimed a portion of my dad's social security benefits, but never did. My mom also focused on getting full custody and didn't ask for a portion of his retirement savings either. She's been fine but has been tight on money her whole retirement because she didn't start saving for retirement until after their divorce when she was in her 40s. Just don't leave money you're entitled to on the table while you're also taking on more of the child care burden as well!

How is she taking on more of the child care burden? Why does she deserve it? Dad is actively involved and spending considerable time each week with the kids. He is working full time and his weekends are entirely spent with the kids. He could have the kids 3 nights a week if he drives them to school Monday morning. OP is working full time and has her weekends free. Given most attorneys work fairly long hours, the amount of time she is spending with her kids each day is likely only a few hours. Dad may be doing a lot more running around, extracurriculars, getting what they need during the weekend than mom is before or after school.

This whole he is a man - stick it to him, try to get as much as you can out of him, he should be paying for everything, treat him badly, mentality on this thread is sad. So many people let their sexist views drive their decision making.

Why should he get all the weekends and none of the sick days or doctors appts or soccer practices? You’re insane if you think that people wanting a fair split are “sticking it” to him because he’s a man.

You need to go into the threads where women are complaining about the weekend and not having help or their husband being away and reiterate your view that weekends are nothing but bliss and fun and are not 'real' parenting. You must think those women are just absolutely pathetic - why would they need or want any help on a weekend when they don't have to parent and they should simply love every minute of being a mom who can spend the weekend playing and having fun.

Here’s the thing. Most men DO NOT CARE, and certainly not enough to DO ANYTHING about it.
They don’t care if their kid doesn’t do anything on the weekends, what program they play for, what school program they’re in, what friends they have or don’t have, what team they make, if they study or not, if they eat decent foods or not. They just don’t care. Usually because some other adult around does care and take action.

They just want to be left alone, leave everyone else alone, and called a Good Dad.

What are you talking about? Why are you so hostile to men? I hope you don't have sons. Most men do care and are good husbands and fathers. Most men do take their kids to school, pick them up, take them to the doctor, activities and more. Just because you married a dud doesn't mean all men are that way. Stop the men and dad hate. And, pick a better man next time.

No, that's most WOMEN. Most MOMS. You know, the people who do the vast majority of child care.

No. It’s most whiners here that chose bad partners. But get out into the world and open your eyes, there are dads everywhere parenting their kids.

Are there dads everywhere? Sure. Are they parenting? L O L.

The overwhelming majority of childcare is done by women. Your refusal to acknowledge that shows how blind and biased you are. You won’t even admit the truth, so stay in your abnormal bubble.

Nah you’re just trolling at this point with your same repetitive rhetoric.

Reality bites.

Unf the children are who get the short end of the stick when they only have one involved parent and one facetime-only uninvolved parent.

For you who made a poor choice for a partner and father of her children, yes. Thankfully your experience is not what the majority of women and children experience.

Considering over 30% of children are born out of wedlock and have absentee fathers + the other hit or miss 70%, that does not seem likely at all.

Do you just make up fake stats about fathers? Or other subjects too?

Who you calling a father?

Some sperm?

You don’t understand what a father is? I guess it’s hard since no man wants to be associated with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has them every weekend and you have them before and after work during the week, you are probably both spending about equal amounts of time with them / actively engaged and parenting. He might even be spending more time with the kids if he has Friday evening and all day Saturday and Sunday and you are spending Mon-Fri before work and Mon to Thurs after work. So forgoing child support makes sense. The time spent with kids is about 50/50 even if the official custody wouldn't be as it uses overnights.

It would be really stupid to give him every weekend. Is he going to take the kids to extracurriculars? Is he going to take them to friends birthday parties and play dates? If he has to drive along way to facilitate those activities it seems doubtful. I don’t know how old the kids are, but this type of stuff becomes increasingly important throughout elementary and especially in middle school.

if he’s lazy or selfish he simply will not take them to their activities on his days.

OP didn't say he wouldn't. However, its not reasonable to only give him two days and then say he has to do all the heavy lifting with weekend stuff and he gets no downtime with the kids or free weekends while mom gets every weekend off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea and sounds like he is trying to get you to accept less money in order to have a custody arrangement that just makes sense. Is he really going to drive them from another county to go to school? Or is he threatening to pull them from their current school to also get you to accept less in child support? If you're the parent living in the child's current school district you have reasonable odds of getting what you want without giving up more money.

Think long and hard about the consequences of giving up more than you or your kids deserve in terms of money. I'm currently in my 50s caring for my mother in her 80s and she's running out of money...I just realized all along my mom could have claimed a portion of my dad's social security benefits, but never did. My mom also focused on getting full custody and didn't ask for a portion of his retirement savings either. She's been fine but has been tight on money her whole retirement because she didn't start saving for retirement until after their divorce when she was in her 40s. Just don't leave money you're entitled to on the table while you're also taking on more of the child care burden as well!

How is she taking on more of the child care burden? Why does she deserve it? Dad is actively involved and spending considerable time each week with the kids. He is working full time and his weekends are entirely spent with the kids. He could have the kids 3 nights a week if he drives them to school Monday morning. OP is working full time and has her weekends free. Given most attorneys work fairly long hours, the amount of time she is spending with her kids each day is likely only a few hours. Dad may be doing a lot more running around, extracurriculars, getting what they need during the weekend than mom is before or after school.

This whole he is a man - stick it to him, try to get as much as you can out of him, he should be paying for everything, treat him badly, mentality on this thread is sad. So many people let their sexist views drive their decision making.

Why should he get all the weekends and none of the sick days or doctors appts or soccer practices? You’re insane if you think that people wanting a fair split are “sticking it” to him because he’s a man.

You need to go into the threads where women are complaining about the weekend and not having help or their husband being away and reiterate your view that weekends are nothing but bliss and fun and are not 'real' parenting. You must think those women are just absolutely pathetic - why would they need or want any help on a weekend when they don't have to parent and they should simply love every minute of being a mom who can spend the weekend playing and having fun.

Here’s the thing. Most men DO NOT CARE, and certainly not enough to DO ANYTHING about it.
They don’t care if their kid doesn’t do anything on the weekends, what program they play for, what school program they’re in, what friends they have or don’t have, what team they make, if they study or not, if they eat decent foods or not. They just don’t care. Usually because some other adult around does care and take action.

They just want to be left alone, leave everyone else alone, and called a Good Dad.

What are you talking about? Why are you so hostile to men? I hope you don't have sons. Most men do care and are good husbands and fathers. Most men do take their kids to school, pick them up, take them to the doctor, activities and more. Just because you married a dud doesn't mean all men are that way. Stop the men and dad hate. And, pick a better man next time.

No, that's most WOMEN. Most MOMS. You know, the people who do the vast majority of child care.

No. It’s most whiners here that chose bad partners. But get out into the world and open your eyes, there are dads everywhere parenting their kids.

Are there dads everywhere? Sure. Are they parenting? L O L.

The overwhelming majority of childcare is done by women. Your refusal to acknowledge that shows how blind and biased you are. You won’t even admit the truth, so stay in your abnormal bubble.

Nah you’re just trolling at this point with your same repetitive rhetoric.

Reality bites.

Unf the children are who get the short end of the stick when they only have one involved parent and one facetime-only uninvolved parent.

For you who made a poor choice for a partner and father of her children, yes. Thankfully your experience is not what the majority of women and children experience.

Considering over 30% of children are born out of wedlock and have absentee fathers + the other hit or miss 70%, that does not seem likely at all.

Do you just make up fake stats about fathers? Or other subjects too?

It’s shot up to 40% the last few years. No longer 20 or 30%.
Layer in the divorced dads who leave entirely and you have an over 40% figure of children with no bio father in their day to day life.

Some of the reason why Dad's aren't involved is to how the mom's treat them and refuse custody/visits/contact and make up reasons why. If you alienate your ex, stop complaining aready.

[Anonymous]

Per AI:

About 32% of custodial fathers do not receive child support payments from noncustodial mothers, while 25% of custodial mothers are awaiting late payments from fathers. This indicates that a higher percentage of fathers report not receiving the child support they are owed compared to mothers.
joelwanders.com USAFacts
Child Support Payment Statistics
Men Failing to Pay Child Support
32% of custodial fathers do not receive child support payments from noncustodial mothers.
This indicates a significant number of fathers are affected by non-payment.
Women Failing to Pay Child Support
25% of custodial mothers are awaiting late payments from noncustodial fathers.
This shows that while fewer mothers are in default, it still represents a notable issue.
Summary of Payment Defaults
GENDER PERCENTAGE NOT RECEIVING PAYMENTS
Custodial Fathers 32%
Custodial Mothers 25%
These statistics highlight the challenges both men and women face regarding child support payments, with a higher percentage of fathers reporting non-receipt of payments compared to mothers.
joelwanders.com
revelprivatewealth.com

[Anonymous]

How old are they?

If he agrees to the arrangement, do it — it’s much better for your kids.

Eventually when they are teenagers they will have their own weekend plans and he won’t have much say in where they go anyway. I think although when they are younger the weekend can be family quality time, that’s probably less of an issue the older they get.

Plus anyway there are days off school, holidays, summer etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are they?

If he agrees to the arrangement, do it — it’s much better for your kids.

Eventually when they are teenagers they will have their own weekend plans and he won’t have much say in where they go anyway. I think although when they are younger the weekend can be family quality time, that’s probably less of an issue the older they get.

Plus anyway there are days off school, holidays, summer etc.

No it’s not good for anyone except op to shut dad out of the kids lives. He should have say as an equal parent.

[Anonymous]

I did this many years ago. No child support for primary physical custody. The father did not want to pay any child support which is why he originally wanted at least 50 percent custody until I said I’d waive child support completely.