Considering Elite NE Boarding Schools for Son (Taft, Choate, Hotchkiss, Deerfield, etc.) Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of families at these top boarding schools are stunned with the level of rigor and expectation placed on students. The pace is unrelenting and the workload is heavy. Most kids adapt, but the first few report cards are humbling, and it's not uncommon for kids to break down in tears when they realize their Ivy dreams are crushed because of a weak freshman GPA.

Correct. If you are bottom half, and it is a coin flip where your child will end up (they’re not as brilliant as you think), their college prospects are bad. Go for the education and experience. Not to go to Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These schools are rigorous, but I think people oeverstate the difficulty. Around 40% of Hotchkiss students graduate with an "A" average GPA.

And the hoops that 40% jump through to get the A and then further differentiate themselves are many and difficult. It is much harder to be in that 40% than top 5% at a good MoCo public HS and be a top student at St Albans.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

No. We just truly cannot believe that any parent would sacrifice these four years with their own child.

I think this site has a very hard time understanding that some families have very different needs, priorities, and circumstances than their own.

Exactly. Does that poster realize how many parents are alcoholics, mentally ill, emotionally abusive, or have other debilitating issues? Tens of millions. Many grandparents pay the tuition so that their grandchildren can escape hellish households.

Sure, but I don't think that's the circumstance for most kids considering Deerfield, Choate, or Taft. Most families that send their kids there are doing it for intensified rigor or that sports programs. For example, it's not easy to find a high-powered hockey program in the DMV. There are plenty of them in boarding schools.

Or because the parents “need” to travel.

You do know career foreign service officers need to travel, right? Plenty of foreign service brats at these schools

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DCUM is notoriously anti-boarding. Prepare for people asking you why you hate your kid or why your kid hates you.

This sub is filled with out-of-touch people who don't understand that day school isn't a good option for everyone. Some families are divorced. Some parents travel a ton and can't watch over their kids constantly.

Why have kids if you can’t spend a lot of time with them?

Totally agree, but let's go over step further - why have kids if their MOM can stay home to cook all whole organic food from processed free products grown at home or milked from the family cow. All the while wearing one of those stupid doily dresses.

Or you can consider that people have kids for all sorts of reasons and sometimes people's circumstances change in the 20+ years they spend raising children.

Oh, and the fact that we all have different values.

Yep. If you’re not a SAHM mom, why? You don’t care about spending time with your kid? Why not homeschool them? Seems cruel to send them to a public day school to be raised by strangers….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

Frankly, I think the vast majority of teenagers would “enjoy Walt Whitman” more so than any of these boarding schools.

The vast majority of teenagers aren’t smart enough and rich enough to academically and socially thrive at a top boarding school, so yes,
You are right. The vast majority belong in public school.

[Anonymous]

We live in a New England town with a fancy boarding school. DC did not get in even with 99th percentile SSAT scores and a very strong resume. They admitted classes who were ALC (legacy at Harvard but terrible at school). Fine. All of them went to schools that I will not mention. DC was admitted to Harvard.

I say this because you should figure out what you want DC to get from boarding school. If it’s an elite college, it’s not a guarantee. If it’s connections, maybe? Other kids I know who attended the boarding school have not kept up with old friends and their parents said it was a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

They admitted kids*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

FA depends on the year. Sometimes the institutional priorities dictate that they take more full pay students than usual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

FA depends on the year. Sometimes the institutional priorities dictate that they take more full pay students than usual.

Financial aid goes to URMs and hockey players. It doesn’t go to high achieving whites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended one of the schools in your list. When you go look at them, you'll walk away with 1000X more info than anything you'll find here.

But I'll say this - it’s going to be hard to get there more than once or twice a year from DC. You might look at Lawrenceville, St. Andrews (Delaware), and other slightly more southern schools if going to see your kids sports games, or them coming home for long weekends, etc. are important to you.

Schools aren’t advertising their shortcomings and you won’t find them on a school tour. I went to one of these schools and most of my K-9 classmates did, too. I loved boarding. That said, every single boarding school has ample drugs and alcohol, sexual misconduct, academic dishonesty, and other issues. Are you confident in your 14 year old handling this environment? Is it worth it to you? It was for me, but for many it was certainly not.

Based on my college experience I ended up feeling like boarding school kids were better prepared for college because they already had experience experimenting with hard drugs, group sex, etc. at boarding school so they had gotten that out of the way and could focus on classes 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

This doesn’t make much sense. Again, it would only cost them $25k to send them to these top boarding schools if accepted.

I bet any family considering private or boarding school at that income would be ecstatic to know that they could attend Andover for probably much less than any DMV private school.

I literally know a DC family probably around that income sending their kid to a boarding school because it ended up as such a good deal for them. That said…the kid was the one pushing to explore boarding schools.

“Only cost 25k” say goodbye to both your trips to Park City and Hilton Head. There’s a reason not many families making 150-500k go to boarding school, and it’s not only a question of having family on the board like OP. 25k is an enormous sacrifice for them and they probably wouldn’t go to st albans or GDS either.

Any DC family that made $250 k and could get their kid into an elite boarding school for $25k/year would jump all over that deal and never look back. That’s half the top private schools in DC and not a lot more than a Catholic school that many middle class families attend. Deal of the century. Not sure why you’re so fixated on the idea that a $250k family wouldn’t attend private schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended one of the schools in your list. When you go look at them, you'll walk away with 1000X more info than anything you'll find here.

But I'll say this - it’s going to be hard to get there more than once or twice a year from DC. You might look at Lawrenceville, St. Andrews (Delaware), and other slightly more southern schools if going to see your kids sports games, or them coming home for long weekends, etc. are important to you.

Schools aren’t advertising their shortcomings and you won’t find them on a school tour. I went to one of these schools and most of my K-9 classmates did, too. I loved boarding. That said, every single boarding school has ample drugs and alcohol, sexual misconduct, academic dishonesty, and other issues. Are you confident in your 14 year old handling this environment? Is it worth it to you? It was for me, but for many it was certainly not.

Based on my college experience I ended up feeling like boarding school kids were better prepared for college because they already had experience experimenting with hard drugs, group sex, etc. at boarding school so they had gotten that out of the way and could focus on classes 😂

Sorry to kill your fantasies, but clearly, you have not had any experience with boarding schools if you think that is what goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a New England town with a fancy boarding school. DC did not get in even with 99th percentile SSAT scores and a very strong resume. They admitted classes who were ALC (legacy at Harvard but terrible at school). Fine. All of them went to schools that I will not mention. DC was admitted to Harvard.

I say this because you should figure out what you want DC to get from boarding school. If it’s an elite college, it’s not a guarantee. If it’s connections, maybe? Other kids I know who attended the boarding school have not kept up with old friends and their parents said it was a waste of money.

Are you willing to name the boarding school ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As always, this board is very unhelpful when it comes to boarding schools. There is a very good, moderated boarding school board at college confidential that has been very helpful.

Many are bitter they can’t afford the tuition and feel threatened by boarding school seniors taking their public and private day school children’s college slots.

It can't be that...Exeter and Deerfield have some of the most generous FA of any school, including every college. At Deerfield, you don't pay any more than 10% of your income. I don't think any college as an example would give FA to a family making $500k, yet Deerfield caps you at $50k tuition.

Even though they are generous with FA, it is still a large expense for upper middle class families. They’re not giving up an annual ski or beach vacation for boarding school unless they really prize education. They’d rather send them to MoCo schools.

NP. Illogical conclusion. Does not boost your attempt to argue that you got a superior education at your boarding school.

Parents making 250k in the DMV don’t send their children to boarding school. Students from the DMV have rich parents or are from the inner city and use pipeline programs. People making 250k don’t get enough aid to avoid making sacrifices they don’t view as worth it. Enjoy Walt Whitman!

This doesn’t make much sense. Again, it would only cost them $25k to send them to these top boarding schools if accepted.

I bet any family considering private or boarding school at that income would be ecstatic to know that they could attend Andover for probably much less than any DMV private school.

I literally know a DC family probably around that income sending their kid to a boarding school because it ended up as such a good deal for them. That said…the kid was the one pushing to explore boarding schools.

“Only cost 25k” say goodbye to both your trips to Park City and Hilton Head. There’s a reason not many families making 150-500k go to boarding school, and it’s not only a question of having family on the board like OP. 25k is an enormous sacrifice for them and they probably wouldn’t go to st albans or GDS either.

Any DC family that made $250 k and could get their kid into an elite boarding school for $25k/year would jump all over that deal and never look back. That’s half the top private schools in DC and not a lot more than a Catholic school that many middle class families attend. Deal of the century. Not sure why you’re so fixated on the idea that a $250k family wouldn’t attend private schools

They wouldn’t. They don’t apply. You’re on DCUM, you’re already more invested than most of your similarly situated peers. Most don’t care if they go to Walt Whitman then a bad SEC school. They’re too busy eating cheese dip on football Sundays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a New England town with a fancy boarding school. DC did not get in even with 99th percentile SSAT scores and a very strong resume. They admitted classes who were ALC (legacy at Harvard but terrible at school). Fine. All of them went to schools that I will not mention. DC was admitted to Harvard.

I say this because you should figure out what you want DC to get from boarding school. If it’s an elite college, it’s not a guarantee. If it’s connections, maybe? Other kids I know who attended the boarding school have not kept up with old friends and their parents said it was a waste of money.

Are you willing to name the boarding school ?

Probably one closer to Boston. Rural ones are desperate for day students that are academically qualified. Middlesex, Milton, and Groton fit the bill. Most spots for a boarding school class are already allocated to legacies, URMs, niche sports that don’t have walk ons (hockey, squash), and feeder schools (often in NYC or junior boarding). It’s very uphill otherwise. Hence why a yuppie couple in DC making 250k is so unlikely to be admitted and attend these schools. There’s just not much value they can provide. They don’t donate and there’s plenty of 95%+ percentile applicants