Advice to your younger soccer parent self

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps was an incredible stand out from young age. He had coaches who noticed his potential and made sure he got into the right training environment. He was raised by a single mom who followed the advice of the coaches. And guess what? He played multiple other sports until age 12 when he decided to focus on swimming only.

His mom shouldn't have listened to the coaches or allowed him to go train with them, because everyone can't be an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

You aren't very smart, are you? There's a difference between a parent following a coach's recommendation with agreement of a kid vs. a parent taking their kid to the pool from age 6 and making them work on strokes all the time while also putting them in a bunch of private lessons outside of practice.

So Michael Phelps did the same type of swim training and put in the same amount of time and effort into it as the average kid?

Before age 12, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Those of us who have been there ourselves or have had our kids get there know this. The delusional parents will find out the hard way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Those of us who have been there ourselves or have had our kids get there know this. The delusional parents will find out the hard way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Right coach and club at early age is bad idea or good idea?
Not sure which side you're on with that one

[Anonymous]

My youngest plays ACC D1 soccer. Full ride.

Luckily, she's our youngest kid and I learned a lot watching my older kids navigate youth sports. More specifically, my oldest was a talented athlete. I had FOMO with her and signed her up for everything (extra clinics, etc.). At some point I realized she didn't have the drive really needed to stay at the level she was competing. I didn't need to keep propping her up by trying to keep her amongst her peers.

My other kids just enjoyed their sports - but I noticed early on that our youngest was different. She pushed herself. She got up early and trained late. We didn't have to pay for all the extra trainings bc trainers wanted to train her for free (so they could put her on their social media). It was all driven by her.

I agree that too many parents think they can create elite athletes. It's really not in our hands.

Just sit back and enjoy watching them play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD and soccer don’t work. That’s what I learned.
My child can’t learn soccer (and my other child who was also diagnosed, isn’t hyperactive but has another specific type of adhd). Meds for evening practice isn’t the priority either.

I coached as well. My worst parent experience was sadly for a completely off the rails adhd child. Like actively kicking our scrimmage ball FAR FAR away.

In addition, I had a young team 2 years ago and it boggles my mind. Almost every kid was unfocused. The best player at that age, technically and team-wise was a very smart Indian child.

I just posted above. My DD who plays D1 ACC soccer (she's also a YNT regular) has ADHD. Soccer and physical activity is her medication. She couldn't really "learn soccer" when she was young (completely unfocused/energetic), but she absolutely loved the ball. She had very good technical coaches that didn't really coach "how" to play soccer (there were no systems taught, no fixed "positions" at a young age, etc.). She used to go out on the field and just dribble all over the place, trying to emulate Ronaldinho, etc. Her coaches encouraged that love of the ball and wanted her (and all the young players) do be creative and learn to be comfortable with the ball, with both feet, etc. By age 10 - 12, she was focused enough to understand more about the game and by her teens years it was a whole different story.

But if she had been placed with a team that told her what position to play and where she should pass the ball when she received it, she probably would have lost interest at a young age.

So, maybe advice to parents of younger players with ADHD, find the right coach/team! Actually, all young kids should be encouraged to dribble, to be comfortable with the ball, to be creative and have fun. None of this pass-pass, pass-pass, limited touches at a young age. They can be taught that style of play later...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Most follow this philosophy. It become clear just how hard it is to break through around middle school. Those who keep playing truly love to play and/or playing with their teammates (which makes the upcoming age group switch a possible bit of a downer) BUT also look to do other things -- which makes sense.

Break through to what?

To a higher league OR better club. Most everyone -- except a select few -- will hit a ceiling somewhere in youth soccer despite all the hard work, training, etc. A vast majority first find it by middle school and many move on at that point and that's ok. Others won't see it until college and some will only find it after their body fails them with age after otherwise achieving all. And again it's all good.

[Anonymous]

Chase club with coach that wants to make your player better vs. chasing the badge

[Anonymous]

MOVE!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Right coach and club at early age is bad idea or good idea?
Not sure which side you're on with that one

What I meant is that parents think if they just find the right club/coach it will automatically set their kid up for success. My point is to not do it because eventual success is out of the parent's control. If the kid is good enough and has the drive, they will end up at a club/coach that can take them where they want. I'm not saying every club or coach is the same. But you don't need to manufacture it because if they are talented and motivated their progression will play out over the years by itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Right coach and club at early age is bad idea or good idea?
Not sure which side you're on with that one

What I meant is that parents think if they just find the right club/coach it will automatically set their kid up for success. My point is to not do it because eventual success is out of the parent's control. If the kid is good enough and has the drive, they will end up at a club/coach that can take them where they want. I'm not saying every club or coach is the same. But you don't need to manufacture it because if they are talented and motivated their progression will play out over the years by itself.

+100

People will claim their kid didn't "make it" because they got screwed over by some coach or club. In reality that kid wasn't going to make it anyway. It just makes the parent feel better to say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Most follow this philosophy. It become clear just how hard it is to break through around middle school. Those who keep playing truly love to play and/or playing with their teammates (which makes the upcoming age group switch a possible bit of a downer) BUT also look to do other things -- which makes sense.

Break through to what?

To a higher league OR better club. Most everyone -- except a select few -- will hit a ceiling somewhere in youth soccer despite all the hard work, training, etc. A vast majority first find it by middle school and many move on at that point and that's ok. Others won't see it until college and some will only find it after their body fails them with age after otherwise achieving all. And again it's all good.

huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.

Right coach and club at early age is bad idea or good idea?
Not sure which side you're on with that one

What I meant is that parents think if they just find the right club/coach it will automatically set their kid up for success. My point is to not do it because eventual success is out of the parent's control. If the kid is good enough and has the drive, they will end up at a club/coach that can take them where they want. I'm not saying every club or coach is the same. But you don't need to manufacture it because if they are talented and motivated their progression will play out over the years by itself.

I thought having the right coach and club at early stages was extremely important, because many bad coaches have ruined kids before they had a chance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Most follow this philosophy. It become clear just how hard it is to break through around middle school. Those who keep playing truly love to play and/or playing with their teammates (which makes the upcoming age group switch a possible bit of a downer) BUT also look to do other things -- which makes sense.

Break through to what?

To a higher league OR better club. Most everyone -- except a select few -- will hit a ceiling somewhere in youth soccer despite all the hard work, training, etc. A vast majority first find it by middle school and many move on at that point and that's ok. Others won't see it until college and some will only find it after their body fails them with age after otherwise achieving all. And again it's all good.

huh?

Gotta read the thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You dont need to be friends with other parents on your kids team. I'm on kid #2 in club soccer and genuinely can't stand anyone. The parents, the mean girl kids, the coaches, etc, etc. But they dont know this. They all think Im just the quiet parent that sits to the side during games.

I sit back and watch the women (and sometimes men) turn on each other depending on who's kid is starting. What a fake bunch of baloney.

The intensity of parents sometimes shows up at practice. It also sometimes looks like an “Oh, I don’t care” attitude with the adults at the game. But, once practice/game is over turning your intensity on the kid to make sure they analyze every move and consider how it could be improved. Asking who was at practice and which athlete is top/better- generally pushing the kid HARD to achieve and dominate.