Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t not do the surgery just because he objects but I would listen to the objections and seriously consider them.

I have looked into a lift but going under for elective surgery makes me nervous. It is highly likely that it would go fine but I just can’t justify the small risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t not do the surgery just because he objects but I would listen to the objections and seriously consider them.

I have looked into a lift but going under for elective surgery makes me nervous. It is highly likely that it would go fine but I just can’t justify the small risk.

Do you ride in cars? Thats riskier. Especially in this area. Just being outside in DC carries a small risk. Eating pork. Going unmasked due to Covid. That's life.

[Anonymous]

What are the procedures you’re having specifically for stretch marks and cellulite?

I’ve no luck finding anything that helps with stretch marks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a breast lift about 15 years ago and wish I had done it sooner.

Breast lift and/or reduction has the highest rate of patient satisfaction of any kind of plastic surgery. Most people feel like you, the biggest regret is not having done it sooner. Go forth OP thought I do agree with the people who pointed out you should wait a touch. Just to be sure your breasts have hit a neutral state after breastfeeding. Also, shouldn't have to be said, but assuming done with babies? Other than that it's a reasonably safe surgery and you deserve to feel good aboit your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a breast lift about 15 years ago and wish I had done it sooner.

Breast lift and/or reduction has the highest rate of patient satisfaction of any kind of plastic surgery. Most people feel like you, the biggest regret is not having done it sooner. Go forth OP thought I do agree with the people who pointed out you should wait a touch. Just to be sure your breasts have hit a neutral state after breastfeeding. Also, shouldn't have to be said, but assuming done with babies? Other than that it's a reasonably safe surgery and you deserve to feel good aboit your body.

Breast reduction is a health issue. I mean most insurance covers it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t not do the surgery just because he objects but I would listen to the objections and seriously consider them.

I have looked into a lift but going under for elective surgery makes me nervous. It is highly likely that it would go fine but I just can’t justify the small risk.

Do you ride in cars? Thats riskier. Especially in this area. Just being outside in DC carries a small risk. Eating pork. Going unmasked due to Covid. That's life.

This is an idiot's argument. Unless you want to walk everywhere (which is probably at least as risky, if not worse, especially here), you need to get from place to place. The alternative is being a shut-in. Yes, just existing does carry some unavoidable risk, but that's literally everything. What's the alternative there, death? Life has some risk, which we weigh against necessity when making decisions. Avoiding cars is a lot harder to do than avoiding plastic surgery.

Nobody needs perky boobs. People who use their boobs for their job may find it increases revenue to have perky ones, but that doesn't seem to be OP's issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a breast lift about 15 years ago and wish I had done it sooner.

Breast lift and/or reduction has the highest rate of patient satisfaction of any kind of plastic surgery. Most people feel like you, the biggest regret is not having done it sooner. Go forth OP thought I do agree with the people who pointed out you should wait a touch. Just to be sure your breasts have hit a neutral state after breastfeeding. Also, shouldn't have to be said, but assuming done with babies? Other than that it's a reasonably safe surgery and you deserve to feel good aboit your body.

Breast reduction is a health issue. I mean most insurance covers it.

Correct, but OP isn't talking about a reduction. Cosmetic lifts for "perkiness" are not typically covered because they're not necessary. Authorization for a reduction often requires both a significant cup size change and evidence of medical necessity (e.g. the weight of the breast is causing back/neck pain, or sagginess is causing skin issues)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a breast lift about 15 years ago and wish I had done it sooner.

Breast lift and/or reduction has the highest rate of patient satisfaction of any kind of plastic surgery. Most people feel like you, the biggest regret is not having done it sooner. Go forth OP thought I do agree with the people who pointed out you should wait a touch. Just to be sure your breasts have hit a neutral state after breastfeeding. Also, shouldn't have to be said, but assuming done with babies? Other than that it's a reasonably safe surgery and you deserve to feel good aboit your body.

Breast reduction is a health issue. I mean most insurance covers it.

Correct, but OP isn't talking about a reduction. Cosmetic lifts for "perkiness" are not typically covered because they're not necessary. Authorization for a reduction often requires both a significant cup size change and evidence of medical necessity (e.g. the weight of the breast is causing back/neck pain, or sagginess is causing skin issues)

I agree, I was trying to point out that the PP was conflating a different situation by putting lift and reduction in one bucket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

DP, if refusing to normalize surgery that is 100% about vanity is extremely weird, well, I’m okay with being extremely weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

So "liberal and woman forward" means "do whatever you want and don't think about the whys" to you?

None of my comments involved her husband's opinion at all. It's a stupid thing to feel you need to do, and if you haven't unpacked why you feel that way, the surgery alone isn't going to make your feelings change. Your tits aren't the problem, your self-esteem is. Self-esteem isn't stored in the boobs.

Your comment may not have, but multiple comments did. See below.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

I agree.
Mine aren't perfect but he seems very happy with them and at the end of the day, he and I are the only ones seeing them. So why go through that pain?

Is your DH ok with your saggy breasts? If he does not find it terrible, why do you care? There are lovely support bras can make your breast look perky.

Because it's not like a nose job or neck lift, which might affect her confidence in public or even her career. Her bare breasts' level of Perkiness is something literally only they see.

Maybe I am wearing the wrong bras- what is good to not look saggy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Sounds like he already love you for who you are. You need a good therapist, not a plastic surgeon.
Maybe DH is better informed about the risks of plastic surgery?