Don’t want to host nephew for the summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are being selfish!

It sounds like the kid is just a mildly annoying teenager and not some danger to your kid or family. And, even though he may be full of himself, he sounds very responsible.

You have the spare room and it’s during the summer. It’s sounds like a potentially life changing opportunity for him.

In my family, my mother let her sister and sisters DC live with us for a year so she could finish her degree. And, my aunt and her DC definitely had a ton of annoying behaviors (although nothing dangerous).

You sound like you hate your family.

The kid sounds hateable.

Stay strong, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a little weird that any well regarded law firm would take children to “intern” over the summer. These are rising high school juniors? They’d need to house them, feed them, ensure their safety? I don’t get this “program” where children are meant to find their own places to live

I work in Big Oil and we used to take on HS students for interns. They mostly did admin work. So, yes, totally possible that Big Law does the same thing.

I work with a lot of law firms and have not seen meaningful summer internships for high school students that expect kids to move to another city. They might do a mentorship program with local HS students, or a career day. There are summer jobs, usually for kids of clients or partners, but they tend to be pretty basic. I worked for a law firm at 18 and it was tedious doc review kind of work (although I was glad to have the job).

I haven’t read all the posts but the scholarship offer seems unusual as well. There have been some URM scholarships in the past but for law school, not college. And those have all changed with DEI backlash.

I'm the PP you responded to. Yes, all the kids were local. And we too cut all these programs - I don't remember when, but before covid for sure. I just remembered we had them once upon a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a little weird that any well regarded law firm would take children to “intern” over the summer. These are rising high school juniors? They’d need to house them, feed them, ensure their safety? I don’t get this “program” where children are meant to find their own places to live

This. If the post is real, I all for OP having boundaries. Given all the hostility regarding someone saying no to a challenging nephew staying for the whole summer I almost wonder if this is a troll post where someone just needs to act out and call people selfish for stress relief or something. I have never heard of Big Law offering this sort of thing to high school students. Possible troll alert.

[Anonymous]

I have not read all of this but I would not offer to host him especially if they can't ask you directly. I would not want to spoil my dcs summer with an annoying cousin.

[Anonymous]

The nephew is obnoxious but this isn’t bullying. From a 16yo it’s bad manners from a kid with a chip on his shoulder. (All the special needs parents may tell you it’s autism.) I think you could stretch yourself for one summer to make his life better.

He’s poor and rural. You’re wealthy and urban.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the program offers housing, I’d offer to split cost of that with the pushy grandma. Kid is better off living with other kids in the same program. NOT in some basement alone.

I’d tell grandma to please not volunteer my house.

I’d have nephew over a few times to support him. Would be totally comfortable asking him to behave f he stepped over the line.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want the burden of hosting my nephew for the summer either but I would have to weigh that against family relationships. Saying no would cause hurt feelings that would never quite go away.

Your nephew sounds like a PITA but maybe with more time around your family he’d be great and your kids would be closer for life.

[Anonymous]

Selfish but within your right and also these summers with your own high school kids are precious as you might not get any ones they are gone to college. I would offer to host for first day and taking him to get settled in your friend's basement next day.

How is he supposed to drive to the law office? Is there public transport? If not then who is supposed to drive him twice every day?

[Anonymous]

So the program is (I am guessing based on what OP shared):
Have good grades
Apply
If we pick you, we will place you with a law firm in the city for 6 weeks
There are 20 spots
We (or participating law firms) May award two college scholarships (of $5K each) to best interns
Or some version of the above
Housing [and administrative] costs are $5K
Good thing to do over the summer, and the kid may learn something (especially if he has not been exposed to such environment) but not life altering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're all considering having a 16 year old live by himself for the summer?

His parents are.

THIS!!! Everyone is putting this on the OP but it is not her kid and she didn’t make the decision to have her 16 year old apply for an internship in another city. The kids parents made that decision without considering housing options before they did it. It is beyond obnoxious to assume that a family member will take in their child for an entire summer without consulting them before they applied. I would be more resentful of the kids parents for ever having the audacity to expect someone else to take in their kid. This is a huge boundaries issue. This is not life or death. This is simply poor planning on the part of the kids parents.

Remember the saying, “poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

[Anonymous]

If it was very prestigious it would already have assigned housing, etc.

[Anonymous]

Say no.
Check into that internship. What firm? Is it real? Where do they expect minors to be living?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. This is your nephew so I assume it is the son of one of your siblings, not one of your cousins. I assume you know your sibling well. Why would a sibling go through mommy to ask you? If that sibling is not close enough to ask his/her own sibling, then there certainly isn't enough of a relationship to assume you will host for an entire summer. What kind of a parent thinks they can offer their adult child's home and supervision for a summer without checking with that adult child first? It also seems suspicious to see all the people on here insisting this is just what family does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t want the burden of hosting my nephew for the summer either but I would have to weigh that against family relationships. Saying no would cause hurt feelings that would never quite go away.

Your nephew sounds like a PITA but maybe with more time around your family he’d be great and your kids would be closer for life.

Usually when you say no to someone, and they don't respect boundaries and then you bend and give in it doesn't go well. This sews the seeds for resentment and estrangement. This does not sound like a healthy family. If the family cannot accept "no" I would not expect a 16 year old nephew to accept boundaries well in OPs home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was very prestigious it would already have assigned housing, etc.

No law firm is going to take responsibility for housing and supervising a 16 year old for the summer. That is high risk.

I googled high school internships in law firms. There is one in the Dallas area but with local firms. There is a 9 day NLSC program that I assume is one parents pay for and the program arranges housing. There is one with the ACLU and other non law firm organizations.