PSA-Hoco

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was proud of DD last year as a sophomore, she went to hoco by herself. She's not part of a friend group but gets along with lots of different people, and she bounced from group to group. I picked her up at 11pm at the end, and she said she had a blast. She plans to do the same this year.

This!!! Honestly, THIS is what all parents should be encouraging if your child doesn’t decide to go with others. There is zero shame in walking in alone. You don’t need to group to attend.

You don't but can we all agree that the best part of Hoco for most of the girls is the getting ready together and having a group for photos?

My freshman daughter did this last year with some friends. It was a big group- maybe 10. This year most of her friends didn't do it (maybe 4 of the 10 met up beforehand) because it requires driving by parents with more than one large vehicle. She didn't seem bothered by it. I dropped her off and she met her friends at the dance. I'm glad she doesn't agree with your stance or she would be unhappy about the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was proud of DD last year as a sophomore, she went to hoco by herself. She's not part of a friend group but gets along with lots of different people, and she bounced from group to group. I picked her up at 11pm at the end, and she said she had a blast. She plans to do the same this year.

This!!! Honestly, THIS is what all parents should be encouraging if your child doesn’t decide to go with others. There is zero shame in walking in alone. You don’t need to group to attend.

You don't but can we all agree that the best part of Hoco for most of the girls is the getting ready together and having a group for photos?

No, we can’t agree on that. Not all girls do this. And boys certainly don’t at all.

Obtuse. Most girls do.

No that's your circle. So much drama to get to that getting ready point at someone's house.
Depending on your friend group, it may not be worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was proud of DD last year as a sophomore, she went to hoco by herself. She's not part of a friend group but gets along with lots of different people, and she bounced from group to group. I picked her up at 11pm at the end, and she said she had a blast. She plans to do the same this year.

This!!! Honestly, THIS is what all parents should be encouraging if your child doesn’t decide to go with others. There is zero shame in walking in alone. You don’t need to group to attend.

You don't but can we all agree that the best part of Hoco for most of the girls is the getting ready together and having a group for photos?

My freshman daughter did this last year with some friends. It was a big group- maybe 10. This year most of her friends didn't do it (maybe 4 of the 10 met up beforehand) because it requires driving by parents with more than one large vehicle. She didn't seem bothered by it. I dropped her off and she met her friends at the dance. I'm glad she doesn't agree with your stance or she would be unhappy about the whole thing.

Same. But my freshman daughter preferred to get ready at home, not in a group. She went with two other girls. They got ready separately and one parent picked them up. They took one picture outside of the school before going in. Not all girls want to do giant group, lined up according to dress color in the rainbow, with bent knee, and bouquets picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again, not talking about charity invites. Talking about checking on actual friends to make sure they all have Hoco plans. Raise your kids to do better.

Again, people are changing the context of this hypothetical bc deep down, they know OP's suggestion is crazy, even though they want it to be true.

OF COURSE you check in on actual friends. But that's not what OP said. OP said "people they know"

OP here. "People they know" equals friends. That's what I meant and I wasn't suggesting that kids just ask any and everyone what their plans but they should reach out to the kids in their friend group to make sure everyone has a plan. Nothing crazy about being a bit more diligent and socially aware for this event.

Or teach your child to take initiative to either ask someone to go with them or go alone. Your teen shouldn’t be waiting around for an invite anywhere, ever. Teach them to be confident in who they are and make their own plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

So your kid doesn’t have to put in the effort but other kids do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again, not talking about charity invites. Talking about checking on actual friends to make sure they all have Hoco plans. Raise your kids to do better.

Again, people are changing the context of this hypothetical bc deep down, they know OP's suggestion is crazy, even though they want it to be true.

OF COURSE you check in on actual friends. But that's not what OP said. OP said "people they know"

OP here. "People they know" equals friends. That's what I meant and I wasn't suggesting that kids just ask any and everyone what their plans but they should reach out to the kids in their friend group to make sure everyone has a plan. Nothing crazy about being a bit more diligent and socially aware for this event.

Or teach your child to take initiative to either ask someone to go with them or go alone. Your teen shouldn’t be waiting around for an invite anywhere, ever. Teach them to be confident in who they are and make their own plans.

DP. One thing I’ve noticed as a mom of a teenage girl is that the ones on the fringes really aren’t waiting around for invites. They’re either making efforts in less visible circles where you might not notice, or learning to be content doing things alone. They’re way more used to rolling with the punches.

But heaven forbid a girl in the upper social echelon is ever excluded from anything. Their moms will be all over that in seconds flat trying to make it right. No way would one of those moms tell their kid to just go by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

So your kid doesn’t have to put in the effort but other kids do?

OMG. Please just stay away from people. Like all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

So your kid doesn’t have to put in the effort but other kids do?

OMG. Please just stay away from people. Like all of us.

Keep blaming others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

So your kid doesn’t have to put in the effort but other kids do?

OMG. Please just stay away from people. Like all of us.

Keep blaming others.

I'm not blaming others, you dipshit. OP expressed a nice sentiment and only aholes like you go and shit all over her idea that it might be nice to include the kids who might be struggling. I'm so glad that you and your kids are perfect in every way and NEVER EVER need help with anything. And when you do, I hope you don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you expect the kids that are organizing their own things and going with their own friends to reach out to the kids that they aren't really friends with to see if they want to tag along?

Sorry, but no. As a PP said, this isn't pre-k. You don't have to invite the whole class to your party anymore.

Yes, it would be the nice/right thing to do! That is what I am saying.

It might be nice, but it isn't how the world works. If you are implying to your children that it is, you are part of the problem with how they are developing social skills. You might need to call in someone to help you with those skills.

I could be how it works. But you teach your kid that it's ok to exclude or to be obtuse about other kids maybe needing a little help or invitation. That's on you and how YOU are shaping your kid (and "the world") not me. (NP).

Nope. Prepare your child for the road not the road for your child. You do the parenting don’t expect teens to bail you out.

Translation. Prepare your child for assH7les in the world such as me and my child.

Don’t be aholes then.

Yeah, longing to be included is such an ahole trait. Totally the same as what you describe.

So your kid doesn’t have to put in the effort but other kids do?

OMG. Please just stay away from people. Like all of us.

Keep blaming others.

I'm not blaming others, you dipshit. OP expressed a nice sentiment and only aholes like you go and shit all over her idea that it might be nice to include the kids who might be struggling. I'm so glad that you and your kids are perfect in every way and NEVER EVER need help with anything. And when you do, I hope you don't get it.

This. I am so glad my kids seem to have friends whose parents model inclusivity and kindness. It's not nearly as hard as the defensive posters are pretending it is.