Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

This is your problem. Kids don't get a choice in matters of safety. Would you tempt your kid to wear his seatbelt? Do you have to tempt him to not run into the road? No. It's just a straightforward "there's no negotiation, you're doing it, I don't care if you throw a fit".

Kids should have choices in life but safety isn't one of them.

+1. You're the parent, they get out of the car. I'm fine with giving kids choices where safety isn't involved, this isn't one of those situations. I also don't negotiate with my kid on wearing a helmet.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it was a crime but yes it was a bad idea. Anything could have happened. A carjacker, your kid getting behind the wheel just to play around, or maybe got out of the car to look at something… If you can’t leave a 7 year old home alone, why would you leave them alone on the car?

You should have told him to get out and come with or next time use a pharmacy with a drive thru.

[Anonymous]

The security guard was right.

[Anonymous]

in MD it is illegal to leave a child under 8 in a car alone unless someone 13+ is also IN the car with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

Wow CPS may be watching you.

NP. No, CPS has real problems to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

So you illegally parked and illegally left your child in the car? Wow parent of the year here

Should I have blown off the last swim lesson where I would have found out if they passed the level or should I have drug the sick toddler out of the car?

I think you’re a fine parent but a terrible grammatician.

[Anonymous]

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere with no crime, you shouldn’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

[Anonymous]

No, not at 7. Leaving your kid with the car running makes it much worse. Carjacking, car malfunctioning, your kid could have accidentally put the car in gear. I don’t think I left my kid in the car by herself until she was at least ten. Bad all the way around and the guard was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

PP here. Agree I wouldn't leave the car running.

But if OP had turned the car off and cracked windows people would be yelling that she'd risked hot car death (by leaving a child old enough to get out if the car and come find her inside in a car with open windows for a few minutes).

If we had more sane attitudes about supervision of kids this age OP could have just cracked the windows and this would be socially confined. Heck, In a functional society OP should have been able to tell her son "if there's an emergency, talk to that security guard over there" and then let the guard know her son was in the car and the guard would be like "cool, thanks for letting me know."

But we live in a non functional society where leaving a 7 year old who can walk and talk and read and write alone for a few minutes is "child neglect." Meanwhile there are actual cases of child neglect that never get prosecuted because most neglect happens in private homes.

It's idiotic. Did you know in Denmark parents routinely leave babies in strollers outside store and restaurants so they can finish naps? Because they have a social agreement that children are a collective responsibility. They are happier and more well adjusted people than we are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

I’m really surprised by all the people excoriating you. Assuming this is a super quiet and super safe neighborhood, I don’t think it’s a big deal. But with the caveat that it has to be a super safe neighborhood. Not one where there’s a lot of crime – violent and petty.

I think it’s good to give a little bit of independence. OP probably left the car running so it wouldn’t overheat. I’ve done this before, like if I run inside a restaurant to grab my already-prepared curbside order.

But maybe the security guard knew something you didn’t? About the neighborhood’s safety? Come to think of it, my super safe CVS does not have a security guard. So maybe the neighborhood isn’t as safe as you assumed it to be? Where do you live OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it was a crime but yes it was a bad idea. Anything could have happened. A carjacker, your kid getting behind the wheel just to play around, or maybe got out of the car to look at something… If you can’t leave a 7 year old home alone, why would you leave them alone on the car?

You should have told him to get out and come with or next time use a pharmacy with a drive thru.

1) You can leave a 7 year old home alone fir short periods of time. I would leave my 7 yr old home alone for 5-10 minutes while I ran an errand in the neighborhood.

2) It's kid dependent but my 7 year old would never play around with the wheel or anything in the car. She has been explicitly told not to do this and she would not. Some kids might do this but their parents know they are like this.

The world is not a risk free place. We have to balance protecting our kids with teaching them how to manage risk on their own. You are afraid of something happening to the 7 year old in the car today. I am afraid that if my 7 year old never has any independence at all even in small, controlled doses in low-risk situations, they will have no idea how to handle themselves later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

I’m really surprised by all the people excoriating you. Assuming this is a super quiet and super safe neighborhood, I don’t think it’s a big deal. But with the caveat that it has to be a super safe neighborhood. Not one where there’s a lot of crime – violent and petty.

I think it’s good to give a little bit of independence. OP probably left the car running so it wouldn’t overheat. I’ve done this before, like if I run inside a restaurant to grab my already-prepared curbside order.

But maybe the security guard knew something you didn’t? About the neighborhood’s safety? Come to think of it, my super safe CVS does not have a security guard. So maybe the neighborhood isn’t as safe as you assumed it to be? Where do you live OP?

So it wouldn’t overheat?

Roll down the windows and turn off the engine.