Blended Family Expenses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is covering the mortgage and property taxes on your house it sounds like he is covering at least 50% of your joint expenses so your OP was very misleading.

Yup. There's a reason she wrote it the way she did. He's covering more than 50%, OP just wants to pay less than 50%.

Her husband probably earns more because she mommy tracked herself raising their two kids. A 50/50 split is not necessarily far, they should pay the same percentage. Sounds like she's doing way more of the housework, as women usually do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

I have no idea how much her husband is paying. Presumably he earns more because working moms tend to have their career derailed when they take off to give birth.

One shift a week is obviously not enough. At 22 princess should be paying more of her own way.

The wife is not objecting to paying for their lifestyle, she's objecting to subsidizing her husband paying for the grown adult in college who is too much of a princess to take on a second shift.

I have to wonder, are the two youngest having their college savings prepared?

[Anonymous]

Blended families are so tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blended families are so tacky.

One word: pre-nup!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

I have no idea how much her husband is paying. Presumably he earns more because working moms tend to have their career derailed when they take off to give birth.

One shift a week is obviously not enough. At 22 princess should be paying more of her own way.

The wife is not objecting to paying for their lifestyle, she's objecting to subsidizing her husband paying for the grown adult in college who is too much of a princess to take on a second shift.

I have to wonder, are the two youngest having their college savings prepared?

Why are you so gross towards the daughter? She isn't doing anything wrong here. She's going to school and working 1-2 shifts per week. The parents disagree on the degree on support for her, but ultimately it's not her fault and not really appropriate to call her a "princess" or whatever other insults people are throwing at her.

Anyways, you are right, you don't know how much her husband is paying, just that it's the majority of all their family bills. You don't know that her career was mommy tracked, presumably she knew about this child before procreating with her father, so OP should have been aware that his resources as a single dad might be stretched. OP also wrote in a previous post that college savings are being covered for her two bio kids.

[Anonymous]

They both sound like they have very high incomes and spent generously on this child and probably all the kids. Summer traveling, car with a note.. those would be hard no's in our home. My stepkids tried that non-sense and refused to work and lived over their means. Dad put an end to that real quick. We weren't taking vacations and live very modestly and as college kids they were living better than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

I have no idea how much her husband is paying. Presumably he earns more because working moms tend to have their career derailed when they take off to give birth.

One shift a week is obviously not enough. At 22 princess should be paying more of her own way.

The wife is not objecting to paying for their lifestyle, she's objecting to subsidizing her husband paying for the grown adult in college who is too much of a princess to take on a second shift.

I have to wonder, are the two youngest having their college savings prepared?

She's in a CPA program and working. It's not like she's majoring in english lit. I guess money has to go to the real family not the starter family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blended families are so tacky.

One word: pre-nup!

Three words: no “blended families!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is covering the mortgage and property taxes on your house it sounds like he is covering at least 50% of your joint expenses so your OP was very misleading.

Yup. There's a reason she wrote it the way she did. He's covering more than 50%, OP just wants to pay less than 50%.

Her husband probably earns more because she mommy tracked herself raising their two kids. A 50/50 split is not necessarily far, they should pay the same percentage. Sounds like she's doing way more of the housework, as women usually do.

Are you OP? None of this is written here. Do you not think covering the cost for housing, taxes and vehicles as far more than 50%? It sounds like he's keeping all the household bills paid and afloat and OP is still angry. OP pays for activities and clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

I have no idea how much her husband is paying. Presumably he earns more because working moms tend to have their career derailed when they take off to give birth.

One shift a week is obviously not enough. At 22 princess should be paying more of her own way.

The wife is not objecting to paying for their lifestyle, she's objecting to subsidizing her husband paying for the grown adult in college who is too much of a princess to take on a second shift.

I have to wonder, are the two youngest having their college savings prepared?

It sounds like he spent time as a solo parent, and also possibly time trying to co-parent with someone with severe mental illness. I don't think you can argue that being a parent must have derailed her career, and not cut him the same break.

As for the youngest kids and college savings, it wouldn't be uncommon for a family with this kind of age gap to need to put savings for younger kids on hold while they pay for the oldest, but in fact OP is able to put some in 529 savings since her husband is taking care of tuition, and the mortgage, the two biggest expenses for most families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blended families are so tacky.

One word: pre-nup!

Three words: no “blended families!”

+1
Don't have a family with someone who already has one, if you aren't prepared to treat their family as yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is covering the mortgage and property taxes on your house it sounds like he is covering at least 50% of your joint expenses so your OP was very misleading.

Yup. There's a reason she wrote it the way she did. He's covering more than 50%, OP just wants to pay less than 50%.

Her husband probably earns more because she mommy tracked herself raising their two kids. A 50/50 split is not necessarily far, they should pay the same percentage. Sounds like she's doing way more of the housework, as women usually do.

Are you OP? None of this is written here. Do you not think covering the cost for housing, taxes and vehicles as far more than 50%? It sounds like he's keeping all the household bills paid and afloat and OP is still angry. OP pays for activities and clothing.

I have no idea but you're not supposed to be spending more than 1/3 on housing

Again, I don't know the income differential either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding 50/50 split for bio kids or household expenses is crazy when you are married. That's something divorced couples do.

In marriage there is give and take, and that includes providing expenses for college aged daughter, even if she isn't your biological daughter. You've been in her life for at least 8 years. However, you both need a firm line with the amount you are paying for college. Expense money (all of it) should come out of a combined pot, even when one spouse adds more to the pot than the other.

I say this as a wife who at times has contributed more and less than my husband. We are a combined unit.

This. Why are you splitting money and having separate accounts. The state views all of your money has joint.

Have you both considered getting second jobs? Marriage is a lot about give and take. Many times one spouse makes more.

You seem to have a lot of resentment.

You're telling a mom of elementary aged kids to get a second job so her 22 year old step kid doesn't have to work while going to college???????????

22 y/o is working.

From the OP: Step-child works once a week or sometimes once in two weeks to cover their own utilities/groceries. When I mentioned that being in classes three times a week, leaves another three days to work a part-time job…..is met with resentment/silence by spouse.

Sounds like they could easily work 15 hours more a week, they're just too lazy and spoiled. And why would she? Her dad is putting his hand in step mom's pocket book to pay for her lifestyle.

Freaking car payments? Get her a beater, start there. A paid off car has much cheaper car insurance. Or princess can take the bus.

So you agree, step daughter is working. No one is putting their hand into OPs pocket to pay for anything, if you review the post she breaks down that her husband is paying the vast majority of bills. It's not unfair to want his wife to contribute to their lifestyle, but she seems adamantly against it.

I have no idea how much her husband is paying. Presumably he earns more because working moms tend to have their career derailed when they take off to give birth.

One shift a week is obviously not enough. At 22 princess should be paying more of her own way.

The wife is not objecting to paying for their lifestyle, she's objecting to subsidizing her husband paying for the grown adult in college who is too much of a princess to take on a second shift.

I have to wonder, are the two youngest having their college savings prepared?

Why are you so gross towards the daughter? She isn't doing anything wrong here. She's going to school and working 1-2 shifts per week. The parents disagree on the degree on support for her, but ultimately it's not her fault and not really appropriate to call her a "princess" or whatever other insults people are throwing at her.

Anyways, you are right, you don't know how much her husband is paying, just that it's the majority of all their family bills. You don't know that her career was mommy tracked, presumably she knew about this child before procreating with her father, so OP should have been aware that his resources as a single dad might be stretched. OP also wrote in a previous post that college savings are being covered for her two bio kids.

Because I know the entitled attitude of lazy college students because I was one. I did something harder than CPA after undergrad and realize how lazy I was as a college kid. Took on debt I didn't need to, etc. I wish somebody was my baddy and put a food up my butt.

Read it again, she works as few as one shift every other week. School is just starting up now, if she was working all summer why are they financially stretched at the end of August?