Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

You'd be surprised the stuff they have in India - not just in major metro areas but I'm talking in small towns. There are about 1700 Dominos in India and another 1000 or so Pizza Huts, and there are local pizza chains too which are run to the same standards as Dominos and Pizza Hut. And then you have McDonalds and again regional chains that are like McDonalds. And you can grab a package of Oreos or Lays potato chips or Ritz crackers or boxed pasta even in the small grocery stores in villages these days; and the local brands of these things are perfectly safe to eat too as they are made in major factories that export products out to places like Dubai and Doha; so no one is baking cookies on the side of the road with cows wandering by.

FWIW OP isn't in a village - Faridpur, Bangladesh isn't some local rural farming village 10 hrs from anything; I'd imagine it has most of the same things listed above, not to mention staying in a family home, I'm unclear why OP and OP's kids can't eat the most basic staple foods like rice, daal, rotis etc.

Because they refuse to eat it. It doesn't help his family gives them chocolate at every opportunity available.

[Anonymous]

You knew nothing about your husband’s background until 5 years after marriage. Narcissistic. No help here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my SIL who insists on all organic for her, but her kids only eat chicken nuggets and a few other things. And this is in Peru which has the best food in the world IMO. I’m not from there but have visited many times.

I’ve done very rustic, but not for a month. That is indeed a long time. Why not bring a cutting board with you next time and a few other cooking implements? And buy a knife there. Or learn to use the “sword”. Does your husband think his family will be insulted if you bring stuff like that? That is so weird insisting on 2 suitcases for 4 for a month.

Op here. I have no idea. I'm exhausted from trying to figure it all out he didn't want me to bring pancake mix and a mini pancake mixer but I brought it anyway. Dh doesn't cook so it's all on me. He doesn't eat roti or a lot of Bengali food in the US. We eat a lot of South American food as we lived in Miami and we had hired help. A Peruvian lady would cook for us a few times a week and she taught me how to cook their dishes. We like food that's not as spicy as Bengali food but not as bland as American food. We went to Turkey and loved the food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

You'd be surprised the stuff they have in India - not just in major metro areas but I'm talking in small towns. There are about 1700 Dominos in India and another 1000 or so Pizza Huts, and there are local pizza chains too which are run to the same standards as Dominos and Pizza Hut. And then you have McDonalds and again regional chains that are like McDonalds. And you can grab a package of Oreos or Lays potato chips or Ritz crackers or boxed pasta even in the small grocery stores in villages these days; and the local brands of these things are perfectly safe to eat too as they are made in major factories that export products out to places like Dubai and Doha; so no one is baking cookies on the side of the road with cows wandering by.

FWIW OP isn't in a village - Faridpur, Bangladesh isn't some local rural farming village 10 hrs from anything; I'd imagine it has most of the same things listed above, not to mention staying in a family home, I'm unclear why OP and OP's kids can't eat the most basic staple foods like rice, daal, rotis etc.

Because they refuse to eat it. It doesn't help his family gives them chocolate at every opportunity available.

That's not a Bangladesh problem or a lack of food in Bangladesh problem, that is a parenting problem. I mean with a Bangladeshi dad - do you all NEVER at things like rice or daal at home? I see nothing wrong with grandparents/aunts/uncles offering kids chocolate - they're trying to spoil them since they see them so little. Fine but can't you - MOM and DAD say - you can have the chocolate but you need to sit down and eat your rice and daal first?? I mean maybe stop making them PB sandwiches or ramen at every turn of the step and tell them they have to try the homecooked food at lunch today. Of course this can't happen if you then go make yourself ramen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

OP, you sounds really spoiled. You actually sound a lot like the "children of immigrant" american kids who go back to visit their parents home countries and then freak out at the differences.

I'm, one, by the way. I've used buckets to bathe for a month at a time. If you do it right, you actually get much, much cleaner than a typical shower. I agree that when it's cold, bukcet baths are harder.

It's all very good for your soul. You will survive. You may realize you need less.

You sound like some troll. OP is not spoiled to expect warm running water in her bathroom, and food that doesn’t make them sick and is available in sufficient amounts. You, PP, and OP’s DH all moved to the US to escape those awful conditions and now you act like people who expect ma minimum of comfort and hygiene are spoilt? Give me a break!

She’s in Bangladesh, not Darfur. She just wants to whine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

I was born and raised in India. Although I have lived here for the vast majority of my life (35+ years), when I go back, I still bathe with a bucket and a mug. NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. My DD, especially when she was young, actually enjoyed playing in water that way. You can 100% get clean this way.

If you share where in the world you are, I bet people will have suggestions for what you can do to make this more pleasant. In general though, you may have to cook food. There are no parts of the world where you are going to get sick from eating hot foods, especially prepared at home.

Yeah, this isn't relevant. You were born there. You're essentially like her DH. For most people 99 percent it would be a pretty big deal to do that for a month.

Only for spoiled people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

I thought this was your first trip there? Try to keep your story straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

No, Indian people are only allowed to eat Indian food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you are in rural eastern europe.

No way - people overestimate the poverty in Eastern Europe in 2024

It isn’t that poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

OP, you sounds really spoiled. You actually sound a lot like the "children of immigrant" american kids who go back to visit their parents home countries and then freak out at the differences.

I'm, one, by the way. I've used buckets to bathe for a month at a time. If you do it right, you actually get much, much cleaner than a typical shower. I agree that when it's cold, bukcet baths are harder.

It's all very good for your soul. You will survive. You may realize you need less.

You sound like some troll. OP is not spoiled to expect warm running water in her bathroom, and food that doesn’t make them sick and is available in sufficient amounts. You, PP, and OP’s DH all moved to the US to escape those awful conditions and now you act like people who expect ma minimum of comfort and hygiene are spoilt? Give me a break!

She’s in Bangladesh, not Darfur. She just wants to whine.

Ummmmmm it’s not like that’s a huge step up from Darfur…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

I assume this is OP sock puppeting. OP - you and your DH have now arrived with US $$$ in hand. Feel free to upgrade your ILs kitchen. They have everything in Bangladesh. You can have cabinets installed with countertops, they sell gas stoves that will then go on the countertop.

But yeah I've definitely been in Thailand and India in smaller towns - cooking on the floor is still the norm.

And why would you be writing or eating on the ground? Do you think they don't have sofas and dining room tables and chairs in those kinds of countries? I'm fairly certain OP has her ass parked on her ILs sofa using their wifi to complain to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I re-read your post.

Your second visit there so you knew they don't have running hot water. Mixing water is a minor issue.

Why can't you cook? Get a damn skillet and saucepan and boil/saute stuff that you can eat.

Kids are resilient. Let them try other foods but insist they use boiled water for cooking anything.

Washing hands - I agree that people used to be like that but post COVID people are more aware. Get a few bars of soap if hand soap is not available and put them near every faucet.

Water is the main cause of illnesses in 3td world countries. Boil boil boil water even the water you use for brushing your teeth.

Bug spray to get rid of the mosquitoes. Wear long sleeves clothes and pants in the evening. Light up incense sticks to ward them off.

The main way to cook is in a hole in the ground. Attaching a picture. Kids are also picky. Putting the effort into buying all the seasonings and equipment seems like too much effort. They way the cut vegetables is very different... They use a huge sword that's free-standing. I will try to attach a picture. No cutting board or chef knife is available.

Pictures attached. OP here.


https://ibb.co/4TLpfvT
https://ibb.co/VLNzn8z
https://ibb.co/FmMTgXc

Even poor Chinese villages cook on a surface positioned at an ergonomic height. Squatting on the ground constantly, for cooking, eating, maybe even writing, sucks. Really, how hard is it to stack some boards, A-frame off the ground and put a slab board over those A-frame legs?

China is 5x wealthier than India

But I can’t figure out where in India this is from - must be the north?

It’s pretty impressive for someone to come from such a poor background and end up bagging a “top tier larla”

She's in Faridpur Bangladesh, not India. Probably comparable to India though in some ways India has become more commercialized than Bangladesh - little things like being able to get Oreos and potato chips in every village, pizza even in small towns/cities etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are from different countries. I made danged sure to go and meet his parents and other family and see where they lived. And he is the American one, while I am from former Yugoslavia. Even after, I was not sure tbh. Nobody even offered me a glass of water when I arrived to their house. I thought they had no hosting skills at all.

In the end, we live overseas and travel to different countries for work. Just his dad is way too much for me to be around.

🤣

Slavic people def think Americans and northern euros have horrible hospitality