How to get around teen freezing Life 360

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

How? As a parent you need to monitor your child. Far worse for mental health are checked out parents who don't care and ignore signs of behavior or anything else as its easier for them.

I think it’s neither. It’s screen addiction and social isolation. It’s pervasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.

They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.

And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.

What is the issue you found on the phone? Drugs/alcohol, sex? Are grades slipping?

What’s the issue with leaving at lunch or hanging out after school for a bit? The more you remove, the worse it usually gets with a kid like this. The wild teens we know who aren’t allowed to socialize at all end up skipping class bc that’s the only way they can hang out. Or sneaking out at 3am. There can be consequences and grounding but they should be short.

Have these kids over at your house. Get to know them. You’ll learn a lot. Get their parents info, most high school parents actually do want to know more but think the kids are too old for that kind of communication.

Or conversely, divert. Let them socialize more if they join a spring sport or intensive club. Something to keep them busy and meeting different kids.

I’ve never seen the increasing punishments work on a kid like this, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about telling your kid that if they do that again, they lose their phone for a week.

This and shut off the phone via the service.

Solves NOTHING. They sneak out without the phone and you're left still not knowing where they are. Happy now?

Stop tracking.

laws don't stop people from breaking those laws. Should we just get rid of those laws?

I think as parents we use every arsenal available to us if we see the need. You parent the way you want to; others will parent the way they want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

You rationalize being the mom that lets her kid’s friends sneak around their own parents while they are in your care. Unreal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.

They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.

And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.

What is the issue you found on the phone? Drugs/alcohol, sex? Are grades slipping?

What’s the issue with leaving at lunch or hanging out after school for a bit? The more you remove, the worse it usually gets with a kid like this. The wild teens we know who aren’t allowed to socialize at all end up skipping class bc that’s the only way they can hang out. Or sneaking out at 3am. There can be consequences and grounding but they should be short.

Have these kids over at your house. Get to know them. You’ll learn a lot. Get their parents info, most high school parents actually do want to know more but think the kids are too old for that kind of communication.

Or conversely, divert. Let them socialize more if they join a spring sport or intensive club. Something to keep them busy and meeting different kids.

I’ve never seen the increasing punishments work on a kid like this, ever.

Grades were slipping from honor roll to nothing above a C and failing two classes. Found out she was missing classes or coming in late, many unmarked. Looked at the phone and found sneaking out, vaping, some kids doing/selling nic and weed. A lot of lies.

I am not going to invite these friends over and ok the lifestyle. Sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

For the other girls it’s sneaking out and you know it and allow it. That’s so wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

How? As a parent you need to monitor your child. Far worse for mental health are checked out parents who don't care and ignore signs of behavior or anything else as its easier for them.

I think it’s neither. It’s screen addiction and social isolation. It’s pervasive.

How is it screen addiction and social isolation. You sound like you are trying to justify lazy parenting. Or, you don't drive or take your kids anywhere where you need to coordinate things.. wait that's lazy parenting too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

For the other girls it’s sneaking out and you know it and allow it. That’s so wrong

This is why teens are struggling so much and the bad behavior. Everyone knows this is the house to hang out at with no rules. Who cares if something bad happens, that poster/parent will just make an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

So, a few irresponsible parents dump their kids on each other and you find a way to justify its ok. You should reach out to the parents and talk to them. You probably are that parent who refuses to talk to them and even if you do, you say you are supervising and lying about it.

I don't constantly monitor where my child is but it's good to have for an emergency or if someone is running late, etc. But, our kids are in a lot of activities and need to be driven/picked up and if we are a few minutes late, they like to see where we are too. You are not teaching her moderation and responsibility. You are ignoring it and letting her self regulate which is ok for some kids, but not most. She knows you don't care. We don't track as our kids have made bad choices. We all track each other for safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.

They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.

And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.

Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.

This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

How? As a parent you need to monitor your child. Far worse for mental health are checked out parents who don't care and ignore signs of behavior or anything else as its easier for them.

I think it’s neither. It’s screen addiction and social isolation. It’s pervasive.

How is it screen addiction and social isolation. You sound like you are trying to justify lazy parenting. Or, you don't drive or take your kids anywhere where you need to coordinate things.. wait that's lazy parenting too.

Oh I’m the opposite of a lazy parent. I use find my friends and give my kids pretty strict screen time and app limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

For the other girls it’s sneaking out and you know it and allow it. That’s so wrong

+1

Parents are supposed to work together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.

They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.

And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.

Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.

This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.

OP here

They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago

Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school

I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.

They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.

I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.

I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.

Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

For the other girls it’s sneaking out and you know it and allow it. That’s so wrong

+1

Parents are supposed to work together

+2. I have trustworthy mom friends and we all share with each other which other parents are like PP so we know they can’t be trusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so I found out there are hacks to freeze life 360 so it looks like a teen is in one location but isn’t. It used to be just turning off cellular data so your location doesn’t refresh, but now it seems like offloading the app works too. Is there anyway to make it reliable to parents or do I download another tracker app and hide it on their phone?

Has anyone had success with another app? I am also thinking of Find my iPhone - with a parent lock but wasn’t sure if there were ways to get around it.

Why don't you trust your teen?