Judy Blume finally approved an “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret” movie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be the reply to the post that said “God forbid they leave about kissing.”

My issue wasn’t kissing. It was the context of it (spin the bottle). Plus the Playboy reference. I’m not ready for my 9 year old to leave about that. And I certainly don’t need her chanting “I must. I must. I must increase my bust.”

I’m so glad this movie gave me an opportunity to talk to my 9yo, who turns 10 next month, about:
-The pressure around kissing and parties and games like that, so she doesn’t feel like she has to participate if she doesn’t want to (though we also discussed that these days young kids aren’t left alone in basements at parties)
-What pornography is, and why I don’t personally choose to look at it, though I don’t judge people who do. We even talked about coercion and sex trafficking so she understands that not everyone who poses for those magazines or websites is doing so of their own true free will.
-The pressure to look a certain way, whether it is thin or to have a developed chest, etc., so she knows that beauty standards can be ridiculous and even harmful, and everything to do with appearance—makeup, shaving, clothing, etc.—can be her choice.
-Menstruation, which she already knew about, but this movie gave us a nice way of talking about it some more.

All of these things, I want to be the first to talk to her about. I don’t want her to be over at a friend’s house and come across a “girly magazine” and not know what the heck it is and what’s going on. I don’t want her to attend a party and that is her first introduction to the fact that Spin the Bottle and those kinds of pressure-y games can exist. I will take every opportunity to talk to my daughters about complex issues and be their first introduction to those topics. The world won’t wait for me every time, so I’m so glad the first person to talk to her about the pressure to “must increase her bust” is me, not some older kid or some mean girl.

That’s great. That’s your choice! My friend and I with 9 year olds both feel our girls aren’t ready for this movie yet.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why the posters feel the need to say that they are "passing" because their 9 year old is too young. Look. We. Don't. Care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God forbid we let children be children and not expose them to things they don’t need to be exposed to yet.

I have third grade students who are starting their period and needing early bras. I remember feeling so seen by this book; it was also much-needed, since my mother didn't help me prepare for puberty in any way. My daughter and I are excited to see the film!

This has nothing to do with my daughter or my reasoning. But thanks for sharing.

Well we wish you would shut up about your dd. At least the pp was saying something on topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be the reply to the post that said “God forbid they leave about kissing.”

My issue wasn’t kissing. It was the context of it (spin the bottle). Plus the Playboy reference. I’m not ready for my 9 year old to leave about that. And I certainly don’t need her chanting “I must. I must. I must increase my bust.”

I’m so glad this movie gave me an opportunity to talk to my 9yo, who turns 10 next month, about:
-The pressure around kissing and parties and games like that, so she doesn’t feel like she has to participate if she doesn’t want to (though we also discussed that these days young kids aren’t left alone in basements at parties)
-What pornography is, and why I don’t personally choose to look at it, though I don’t judge people who do. We even talked about coercion and sex trafficking so she understands that not everyone who poses for those magazines or websites is doing so of their own true free will.
-The pressure to look a certain way, whether it is thin or to have a developed chest, etc., so she knows that beauty standards can be ridiculous and even harmful, and everything to do with appearance—makeup, shaving, clothing, etc.—can be her choice.
-Menstruation, which she already knew about, but this movie gave us a nice way of talking about it some more.

All of these things, I want to be the first to talk to her about. I don’t want her to be over at a friend’s house and come across a “girly magazine” and not know what the heck it is and what’s going on. I don’t want her to attend a party and that is her first introduction to the fact that Spin the Bottle and those kinds of pressure-y games can exist. I will take every opportunity to talk to my daughters about complex issues and be their first introduction to those topics. The world won’t wait for me every time, so I’m so glad the first person to talk to her about the pressure to “must increase her bust” is me, not some older kid or some mean girl.

That’s great. That’s your choice! My friend and I with 9 year olds both feel our girls aren’t ready for this movie yet.

That’s great. That’s your choice! Maybe don’t dump all over a movie you haven’t even seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be the reply to the post that said “God forbid they leave about kissing.”

My issue wasn’t kissing. It was the context of it (spin the bottle). Plus the Playboy reference. I’m not ready for my 9 year old to leave about that. And I certainly don’t need her chanting “I must. I must. I must increase my bust.”

I’m so glad this movie gave me an opportunity to talk to my 9yo, who turns 10 next month, about:
-The pressure around kissing and parties and games like that, so she doesn’t feel like she has to participate if she doesn’t want to (though we also discussed that these days young kids aren’t left alone in basements at parties)
-What pornography is, and why I don’t personally choose to look at it, though I don’t judge people who do. We even talked about coercion and sex trafficking so she understands that not everyone who poses for those magazines or websites is doing so of their own true free will.
-The pressure to look a certain way, whether it is thin or to have a developed chest, etc., so she knows that beauty standards can be ridiculous and even harmful, and everything to do with appearance—makeup, shaving, clothing, etc.—can be her choice.
-Menstruation, which she already knew about, but this movie gave us a nice way of talking about it some more.

All of these things, I want to be the first to talk to her about. I don’t want her to be over at a friend’s house and come across a “girly magazine” and not know what the heck it is and what’s going on. I don’t want her to attend a party and that is her first introduction to the fact that Spin the Bottle and those kinds of pressure-y games can exist. I will take every opportunity to talk to my daughters about complex issues and be their first introduction to those topics. The world won’t wait for me every time, so I’m so glad the first person to talk to her about the pressure to “must increase her bust” is me, not some older kid or some mean girl.

That’s great. That’s your choice! My friend and I with 9 year olds both feel our girls aren’t ready for this movie yet.

That’s great. That’s your choice! Maybe don’t dump all over a movie you haven’t even seen.

I haven’t dumped on it. I explained my reasoning just as so many explained why they wanted to go. It’s called an adult discussion. Everyone is welcome to chime in on a thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why the posters feel the need to say that they are "passing" because their 9 year old is too young. Look. We. Don't. Care.

You care enough to post this?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was disappointed to see it’s PG-13. Will it be appropriate for a 9 year old?

yes. I am taking my 10yo. She got her period and had breasts already, plus we read the book.

I just read a review that said the movie shows the girls finding Playboy in Dad’s room, has the girls talking about sexual urges, and has some kissing in a closet scene. It feels a little too mature for my 9 year old. We will pass.

I'm a Gen-X mom who memorized the book in the 1980s. My 11 year old (she'll be 12 next month) and I saw it last night at the early screening. We loved it! We read the book together months ago.

With regard to the Playboy scene, it's really not a big deal at all. They look at the centerfold (nothing is shown) and comment on "how round they are", and Gretchen says that hers look like "little wizard hats." I don't recall anything about "sexual urges" - they do talk about boys they think are cute, like most pre-teen girls. The spin the bottle and the kissing in the closet are just pecks, not full-on making out. In the book, Nancy (an annoying, bossy show-off who acts much more sophisticated than she really is) practices kissing on a pillow, but in the movie, she kisses her bedpost. Philip pinches Margaret on her birthday and tells her it's a pinch to grow an inch, and "you know where you need that inch." I don't think there is anything in this movie that kids haven't already seen or heard at school or on the bus, but I imagine very conservative parents, ones who might support legislation like Florida House Bill 1069, might still find something objectionable. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-bill-ban-menstruation-education-elementary-school/

I found this movie to be very well done. The 1970s music and the period costumes and sets are awesome. Kathy Bates is fantastic as Grandma Sylvia. Rachel McAdams is great as the flower child artist mom who doesn't quite fit in with the strait-laced, uptight suburban moms with their beehive hairdos. It's set in 1970 so there's still some leftover 1960s vibes happening. The religious scenes run the gamut from the Jewish temple, the African-American Baptist church, the mainline Protestant church, and the Catholic Church. The tug-of-war between the grandparents on what religion Margaret should be is well done as well. Margaret says something that resonates in today's political climate and culture wars - she observes that "religion causes people to fight." Yet, she still has her own relationship with God.

I also loved how inclusive the film is - Janie, Mr. Benedict, and Freddy Barnett are African-American. In the scene where everyone is getting ready for the fancy dinner party at Norman Fisher's house (in the book he was "that drip" Norman Fishbein, but in the movie he kind of resembles Rowley from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies) they show the girls getting their hair done, and Janie's mom heats up the hot comb to do Janie's hair. We cracked up at the scene where Margaret and Janie buy Teenage Softies pads at the drugstore so that they're ready for their big day.

And the Laura Danker angle was well handled too. Laura is a 6th grader who developed earlier than the other girls and she's the target of teasing because of it, and in her interactions with Laura, Margaret learns an important lesson on how to treat people.

Opening day is Friday, April 28th - go see the movie! Since we were there for the early screening, we got some free Margaret merch (drinking cups with the movie logo) and a representative from the movie company was there after the screening to collect comments from us - how we rated the movie, our age group, would we rent or buy the movie if it became available and in what format, what was our main reason for seeing the movie, etc.

I think there’s a big difference between ages 9 and 11. I’m not ready to have my 9 year old learn what spin the bottle is, or what Playboy is. We will pass.

Raise your hand if you think this is “dumping” on the movie as PP has accused me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I predict only moms will be in the theater. My 11 and 14 year olds would not be caught dead seeing this, especially with me. They are too cool for school now. Sigh.

I'm forcing my teenage boys to see it with me. It'll be exquisite torture.

seriously? Why?

I took my 9- and 13-year-old boys to see it last night. They both loved it. They laughed a lot. Before we went I told them how much the book meant to me when I was growing up. I told them Grandma never talked to me about stuff like periods or getting boobs or liking boys so the book helped me feel not so alone. At no point did I feel uncomfortable (nor did they). But, I’ve always been open with them about stuff. I’m hopeful that if we talk openly about the stuff that was shrouded in secrecy and shame when I was growing up then they’ll feel comfortable talking to me about anything as they get older. Anyway, on the drive home I said hopefully the movie gives them some insight and empathy about what girls their age are going through and they agreed it did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was supposed to be the reply to the post that said “God forbid they leave about kissing.”

My issue wasn’t kissing. It was the context of it (spin the bottle). Plus the Playboy reference. I’m not ready for my 9 year old to leave about that. And I certainly don’t need her chanting “I must. I must. I must increase my bust.”

I’m so glad this movie gave me an opportunity to talk to my 9yo, who turns 10 next month, about:
-The pressure around kissing and parties and games like that, so she doesn’t feel like she has to participate if she doesn’t want to (though we also discussed that these days young kids aren’t left alone in basements at parties)
-What pornography is, and why I don’t personally choose to look at it, though I don’t judge people who do. We even talked about coercion and sex trafficking so she understands that not everyone who poses for those magazines or websites is doing so of their own true free will.
-The pressure to look a certain way, whether it is thin or to have a developed chest, etc., so she knows that beauty standards can be ridiculous and even harmful, and everything to do with appearance—makeup, shaving, clothing, etc.—can be her choice.
-Menstruation, which she already knew about, but this movie gave us a nice way of talking about it some more.

All of these things, I want to be the first to talk to her about. I don’t want her to be over at a friend’s house and come across a “girly magazine” and not know what the heck it is and what’s going on. I don’t want her to attend a party and that is her first introduction to the fact that Spin the Bottle and those kinds of pressure-y games can exist. I will take every opportunity to talk to my daughters about complex issues and be their first introduction to those topics. The world won’t wait for me every time, so I’m so glad the first person to talk to her about the pressure to “must increase her bust” is me, not some older kid or some mean girl.

That’s great. That’s your choice! My friend and I with 9 year olds both feel our girls aren’t ready for this movie yet.

That’s great. That’s your choice! Maybe don’t dump all over a movie you haven’t even seen.

I haven’t dumped on it. I explained my reasoning just as so many explained why they wanted to go. It’s called an adult discussion. Everyone is welcome to chime in on a thread.

NP. Go away. You’re obnoxious. If several people have said this on the same thread. It’s you…not them.

[Anonymous]

I was in sixth grade in 1972, a couple years after the book came out. I also had parents of different religions, which was unusual then. The book really spoke to me in a way other pre-teen novels at the time seemed afraid to.

I hadn’t thought about the book in all these years, even when my own daughter was 12 a dozen years ago. I went to see the movie today, and it captured the sixth grade from that era eerily well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was disappointed to see it’s PG-13. Will it be appropriate for a 9 year old?

yes. I am taking my 10yo. She got her period and had breasts already, plus we read the book.

I just read a review that said the movie shows the girls finding Playboy in Dad’s room, has the girls talking about sexual urges, and has some kissing in a closet scene. It feels a little too mature for my 9 year old. We will pass.

I'm a Gen-X mom who memorized the book in the 1980s. My 11 year old (she'll be 12 next month) and I saw it last night at the early screening. We loved it! We read the book together months ago.

With regard to the Playboy scene, it's really not a big deal at all. They look at the centerfold (nothing is shown) and comment on "how round they are", and Gretchen says that hers look like "little wizard hats." I don't recall anything about "sexual urges" - they do talk about boys they think are cute, like most pre-teen girls. The spin the bottle and the kissing in the closet are just pecks, not full-on making out. In the book, Nancy (an annoying, bossy show-off who acts much more sophisticated than she really is) practices kissing on a pillow, but in the movie, she kisses her bedpost. Philip pinches Margaret on her birthday and tells her it's a pinch to grow an inch, and "you know where you need that inch." I don't think there is anything in this movie that kids haven't already seen or heard at school or on the bus, but I imagine very conservative parents, ones who might support legislation like Florida House Bill 1069, might still find something objectionable. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-bill-ban-menstruation-education-elementary-school/

I found this movie to be very well done. The 1970s music and the period costumes and sets are awesome. Kathy Bates is fantastic as Grandma Sylvia. Rachel McAdams is great as the flower child artist mom who doesn't quite fit in with the strait-laced, uptight suburban moms with their beehive hairdos. It's set in 1970 so there's still some leftover 1960s vibes happening. The religious scenes run the gamut from the Jewish temple, the African-American Baptist church, the mainline Protestant church, and the Catholic Church. The tug-of-war between the grandparents on what religion Margaret should be is well done as well. Margaret says something that resonates in today's political climate and culture wars - she observes that "religion causes people to fight." Yet, she still has her own relationship with God.

I also loved how inclusive the film is - Janie, Mr. Benedict, and Freddy Barnett are African-American. In the scene where everyone is getting ready for the fancy dinner party at Norman Fisher's house (in the book he was "that drip" Norman Fishbein, but in the movie he kind of resembles Rowley from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies) they show the girls getting their hair done, and Janie's mom heats up the hot comb to do Janie's hair. We cracked up at the scene where Margaret and Janie buy Teenage Softies pads at the drugstore so that they're ready for their big day.

And the Laura Danker angle was well handled too. Laura is a 6th grader who developed earlier than the other girls and she's the target of teasing because of it, and in her interactions with Laura, Margaret learns an important lesson on how to treat people.

Opening day is Friday, April 28th - go see the movie! Since we were there for the early screening, we got some free Margaret merch (drinking cups with the movie logo) and a representative from the movie company was there after the screening to collect comments from us - how we rated the movie, our age group, would we rent or buy the movie if it became available and in what format, what was our main reason for seeing the movie, etc.

I think there’s a big difference between ages 9 and 11. I’m not ready to have my 9 year old learn what spin the bottle is, or what Playboy is. We will pass.

Raise your hand if you think this is “dumping” on the movie as PP has accused me.

Yes, and here’s why: it was 100% unnecessary for you to participate in this thread. If you don’t want to see the movie, and/or if you don’t want to take your kids? Great, fine. Then why are you here? You saying your 9-year-old is not ready to learn what Spring the Bottle is and what Playboy is is just not necessary for you to comment here, when other parents are making a different decision. *Especially* when you have not seen the movie. If you had seen the movie and were commenting that it wasn’t appropriate for your kid, that would at least have some relevance to this thread.

Remember the old rule about thinking before you speak…”Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”

[Anonymous]

Will this movie still be in theaters next weekend? I keep trying to look for showtimes and can’t find any in silver spring. I was trying to get a group together to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I predict only moms will be in the theater. My 11 and 14 year olds would not be caught dead seeing this, especially with me. They are too cool for school now. Sigh.

I'm forcing my teenage boys to see it with me. It'll be exquisite torture.

seriously? Why?

I took my 9- and 13-year-old boys to see it last night. They both loved it. They laughed a lot. Before we went I told them how much the book meant to me when I was growing up. I told them Grandma never talked to me about stuff like periods or getting boobs or liking boys so the book helped me feel not so alone. At no point did I feel uncomfortable (nor did they). But, I’ve always been open with them about stuff. I’m hopeful that if we talk openly about the stuff that was shrouded in secrecy and shame when I was growing up then they’ll feel comfortable talking to me about anything as they get older. Anyway, on the drive home I said hopefully the movie gives them some insight and empathy about what girls their age are going through and they agreed it did.

Took my 9 yr old boy to see it today for the same reasons. He laughed a lot and said he enjoyed it a lot more than he expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God forbid we let children be children and not expose them to things they don’t need to be exposed to yet.

Yes much better for tweens/early teens to be alone and clueless with their thoughts and feelings about puberty and sexuality than having an open discussion.

[Anonymous]

Went with my husband and 9 year old tonight. We all loved it!