coworker is trans, not sure what it means in this context?

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker who recently told me he is trans. (Told all of us.) He was born male, and presents as male. What does it mean to be trans in this context?

I don't want to ask him because we're not close enough for that conversation - and he doesn't owe me any explanation, for sure. I am just a late 40s person trying to understand a changed world, and be a decent human in it.

Thank you thank you thank you

[Anonymous]

Ask your coworker what pronoun they would prefer. That’s really the most important thing. I’ve worked with trans folks before. It was as easy as my direct supervisor telling us, “Larla will be joining the team next week. Larla uses the pronoun ‘they.’”

[Anonymous]

Ask what pronouns you should use. If you use the correct pronouns and the correct name (someone you were first introduced to as "Kevin" may now preferred to be called "K") and treat your coworker with respect, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

The coworker is probably preparing you that they may show up as female. Just call them by whatever name they ask you to call them by.

[Anonymous]

I have a gender neutral friend who calls themselves "trans". Maybe your co-worker is gender neutral?

Either way, just use preferred pronouns and be respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a gender neutral friend who calls themselves "trans". Maybe your co-worker is gender neutral?

Either way, just use preferred pronouns and be respectful.

This is OP - and that's what I'm wondering. I hadn't heard the word "trans" used to describe being gender-neutral. It sounds like that's one usage.

And yes, definitely using preferred pronouns, and being respectful. That's the "action" bit here. I just wanted some insight into what trans means in this context. I think you might have it.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for being a kind and decent human and caring.

[Anonymous]

If your coworker announced to all of you that he/she/they are trans, surely there was some follow up commentary, like “please call me ____” or “I use the pronouns ___ / ___,” right? I assume they didn’t make this announcement and then stare at everyone in silence. Did they gave you any context?

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your coworker isn't yet ready to present as a woman full time. A lot of trans women, especially if they transition later in life like your coworker, will wait until estrogen has had time to change their bodies and faces sufficiently. Some socially transition immediately. It's pretty much however they feel comfortable proceeding with the social transition.

There's nothing wrong with asking your coworker their preferred pronouns.

[Anonymous]

I actually think it is okay for you to ask in this particular case. He told you because he wanted you to know. You are fine with it, but needed a moment to process it and in your moment, you missed something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for being a kind and decent human and caring.

Agree. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a gender neutral friend who calls themselves "trans". Maybe your co-worker is gender neutral?

Either way, just use preferred pronouns and be respectful.

This is OP - and that's what I'm wondering. I hadn't heard the word "trans" used to describe being gender-neutral. It sounds like that's one usage.

And yes, definitely using preferred pronouns, and being respectful. That's the "action" bit here. I just wanted some insight into what trans means in this context. I think you might have it.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts!

My high schooler tells me trans = not identifying with your birth gender, which could include agender, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. This differs from my old-person version of trans, which is rooted in the gender binary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a gender neutral friend who calls themselves "trans". Maybe your co-worker is gender neutral?

Either way, just use preferred pronouns and be respectful.

This is OP - and that's what I'm wondering. I hadn't heard the word "trans" used to describe being gender-neutral. It sounds like that's one usage.

And yes, definitely using preferred pronouns, and being respectful. That's the "action" bit here. I just wanted some insight into what trans means in this context. I think you might have it.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts!

My high schooler tells me trans = not identifying with your birth gender, which could include agender, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. This differs from my old-person version of trans, which is rooted in the gender binary.

I have a friend who identifies as nonbinary and presents as female (uses she/they) who confused me so much with this until she said "I think everyone is a little bit trans and people who reject that are missing out on the freedom to play with gender." Oh, ok. That's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a gender neutral friend who calls themselves "trans". Maybe your co-worker is gender neutral?

Either way, just use preferred pronouns and be respectful.

This is OP - and that's what I'm wondering. I hadn't heard the word "trans" used to describe being gender-neutral. It sounds like that's one usage.

And yes, definitely using preferred pronouns, and being respectful. That's the "action" bit here. I just wanted some insight into what trans means in this context. I think you might have it.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts!

My high schooler tells me trans = not identifying with your birth gender, which could include agender, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. This differs from my old-person version of trans, which is rooted in the gender binary.

I have a friend who identifies as nonbinary and presents as female (uses she/they) who confused me so much with this until she said "I think everyone is a little bit trans and people who reject that are missing out on the freedom to play with gender." Oh, ok. That's fine.

m

What does “she/they” mean?

[Anonymous]

If born male AND identifies as male I would use he pronouns unless told otherwise.