What are the good age for us to join friends for road trips, camping, skiing, fishing etc?

[Anonymous]

We have a 3 year old (not potty trained) and a 6 year old. And, we get invited to a few events every year, e.g. 3-4 days tent or cabin camping, road trips to other states for 1-3 days, biking trips, skiing for long weekend, fishing a day or boating a day? It is our mutual friend groups that do these activities for a few years already, and there are singles and a few family with kids like age 6 - 15. They are really experienced, and have all of the tools and everything.

We have no experiences, and we have never joined them for anything mentioned above as a family of 4, except going to their house for holiday party/birthday party/playdates. I can't swim, ski, bike, fish, and I have only camped once with someone cooking/setting up everything for me. What are the good age for us to consider joining my friends for these? My hesitation is my youngest one, she still needs napping/cosleeping/potty training, and it is really handful to take care/entertain 2 kids in a long drive/trip outdoors. And, I have to make sure that they don't get lost or get in danger. That friend group is the only one that we can trust or rely on because I know they can help us to setup tent, teach us fishing, cooking over fire, and my oldest kid can play with some kids there. One day, we want to join them, and it seems like it is never a good time because we hesitate and are worried. It is easy if we don't bring our kids, but we want to join them as a family.

[Anonymous]

So they invite you but you have declined in the past?

It sounds like your 3yo is a bit too young, with the potty training and nap needs and all. Or too young for camping with this particular group. You don't have the skills and are planning to rely on others and that's unappealing. Why don't you take your kids on a little camping trip just the 4 of you, then you'll have more confidence. Or just set up and break down the tent a few times at home. Kids looooove to play pretend camping.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can go with just your 6 year old and one parent. Mention to your friends that you'd be happy to do that. Then if they don't want to deal with having a 3yo along, that might be more appealing to them.

The thing about camping is that you need to take responsibility for yourself. It's too hard for other people to do all the planning and setup and breakdown for you in addition to their own. You need to take responsibility for finding a way to learn these skills. If you really can't swim, you need adult swimming lessons.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is based on YOUR preference.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4yo and 10yo and 12yo. When the two older were younger, we did a few trips with friends.

We just went skiing with friends. My little one only went tubing. My older 2 went skiing with Dh while 4yo and I stayed at the house. We did the same thing last year. My older kids also fish. We have a boat. The little one has been fishing since she was a baby. I used to walk her around in a stroller while the big kids would fish on a pier. Dh would take boys out on a boat while the baby/toddler and I stayed back.

What I find difficult about traveling with others is schedules, especially if you have a napper. We are early risers. I would LOVE to sleep in but my kids don’t ever sleep in. We have traveled with people who roll out of bed at 10-11am. My kids are up by 6:30, 7 latest. We eat lunch at 12. One year, a friend suggested each family be responsible for meals for the day. Late friend started making lunch at 1:30 and dinner at 7. My 2yo starts getting ready for bed at 7:30. It is also hard to get toddler to bed when others are hanging out past midnight.

This past weekend we went with another early family and it was fantastic. Only 2 families. My 4yo stayed up until 9:30 and was too tired. It was cue for everyone to get ready for bed and it was lights out at 10 for all. Everyone was up by 7. We made breakfast and we were all on the same schedule. People with very different schedules get annoyed at each other. I still remember one dad coming down telling 10 kids to be quiet bc the wife was still sleeping at 10:30. They let their kids be quiet on iPads so parents can sleep in. You can’t tell a house full of kids to be quiet that late.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would not invite a non-swimming adult to do anything on or near water, at all period. And 10x no if they also have children who cannot swim. It sounds like you need family swimming lessons before you even consider boating or fishing.

[Anonymous]

I am the pp with 3 kids ages 4-12. I am not a great swimmer, don’t ski, don’t fish. However, my Dh can do all and my kids enjoy doing all as well.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be more enjoyable at school ages. I would still do things with friends and the kids, but maybe right-size it so you aren't overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

It isn't about the ages, it's about the abilities of you and your kids. It really depends on what the other families like to do. Like if the whole group is biking, will your 6 year old be able to keep up with the group? We have friends that we camp with very well, but we don't plan activities that require a whole group to move at a fast pace because the kids' ages and abilities are too different. If the whole group is, say, fishing from a pier, all ages can take part and they are all "fishing" even if for your 3yo that means holding the rod with a parent for a few minutes.

It isn't realistic to expect everyone to go to bed early or be quiet for 2 hrs so your 3yo can nap, so I wouldn't do this with your little one until the nap is no longer needed. Maybe you can go with just your older child. You really can't be the high-maintenance people that need help with everything and also want to control the schedule and the noise level. Go on your own a few times and you'll have a better sense of what's doable.

[Anonymous]

I would not take the younger until she is fully toilet trained. And I would not go camping or fishing because those activities are undesirable to me. I suggest you learn to ride a bike. You're an adult and it's a fun activity done all over the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not take the younger until she is fully toilet trained. And I would not go camping or fishing because those activities are undesirable to me. I suggest you learn to ride a bike. You're an adult and it's a fun activity done all over the world

Am I the only one who finds that at least the early days of toilet trained toddlerhood are not that easy? Having to constantly schlep them to the potty, dealing with particularness about public toilets, having to wipe their butts until their arms are long enough/they're consistent enough...etc. I kind of miss the ease of diapering every 2 hours. I'm not saying I'd rather go back! But it's not an easy button. At least until they're 4 or 5


I love bike riding and re-learned as an adult (yes i forgot, lol). So agree w/ your suggestion

[Anonymous]

I would skip these event. If you aren’t comfortable doing them as an adult, you are going to be even more uncomfortable doing them with kids plus a 3 yr old that don’t know how either. Starting doing these mags yourself and with your own family of 4. Get comfortable, figure out what you like and what your kids like, then join in with other families once you can navigate the actives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not take the younger until she is fully toilet trained. And I would not go camping or fishing because those activities are undesirable to me. I suggest you learn to ride a bike. You're an adult and it's a fun activity done all over the world

Am I the only one who finds that at least the early days of toilet trained toddlerhood are not that easy? Having to constantly schlep them to the potty, dealing with particularness about public toilets, having to wipe their butts until their arms are long enough/they're consistent enough...etc. I kind of miss the ease of diapering every 2 hours. I'm not saying I'd rather go back! But it's not an easy button. At least until they're 4 or 5

I love bike riding and re-learned as an adult (yes i forgot, lol). So agree w/ your suggestion

If you have to wipe your kid then they are NOT fully toilet trained. Teach your kid to arch their back and wipe themselves. I do not put up with particularness about public toilets. If it's clean enough for me, it's clean enough for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not take the younger until she is fully toilet trained. And I would not go camping or fishing because those activities are undesirable to me. I suggest you learn to ride a bike. You're an adult and it's a fun activity done all over the world

[b]And swim - it's critical if you are ever going to be in or near the water with your kids (even if lifeguards are around). FWIW - your kids should start swimming lessons now too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't about the ages, it's about the abilities of you and your kids. It really depends on what the other families like to do. Like if the whole group is biking, will your 6 year old be able to keep up with the group? We have friends that we camp with very well, but we don't plan activities that require a whole group to move at a fast pace because the kids' ages and abilities are too different. If the whole group is, say, fishing from a pier, all ages can take part and they are all "fishing" even if for your 3yo that means holding the rod with a parent for a few minutes.

It isn't realistic to expect everyone to go to bed early or be quiet for 2 hrs so your 3yo can nap, so I wouldn't do this with your little one until the nap is no longer needed. Maybe you can go with just your older child. You really can't be the high-maintenance people that need help with everything and also want to control the schedule and the noise level. Go on your own a few times and you'll have a better sense of what's doable.

I posted above with 3 kids. We have traveled with others to resorts where we don’t do everything together. We have gone to Atlantis, ritz Cayman Islands, Bethany suites, nemacolin, Hershey hotel and many more. We would meet up at the pool or beach or to eat but we were not on everyone else’s schedule. Moms may do a dinner out. Dads go down to the bar to watch football and have drinks.

I personally like having my own personal space vs whole house rentals where you have to be together the whole time.