Anyone’s kid deciding not to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Well, he needs to have some sort of plan. College, community college / trade school, or full time job right out of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine. She turned 21 yesterday. It kind of kills me. She is living with her boyfriend and his father. She had a nervous breakdown in high school and I think she's associated learning with all her mental illness issues. She couldn't complete HS and it took her three years to work up to taking her GED, which she passed on the first try. She works at a smoothie shop - I can't get a clear answer how many hours a week it is. She claims she doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do and so it would be a waste.

She says she wants to work with her hands - I told her fine, go become a plumber or an electrician. No. She doesn't want to have to talk to people. I told her fine, go become a dishwasher in a restaurant. No, she doesn't want to work in the food service industry. Fine, go be a hotel maid and work in hospitality. No, she doesn't want to have to wear a uniform. Fine, go become a car mechanic at a big place, where someone else deals with the customers and you just work on the cars. No, that doesn't appeal to her. And on and on.

Every so often she'll ask me how to become some random profession. I think I want to be a writer - how did Elizabeth become an online editor? She went to school and double majored in English and journalism.

I just don't know how to help this kid. Who is now an adult.

Beauty industry is the answer. Massage therapy, nail tech, hairdresser, etc. You work with your hands and set your own hours.

DP Nope, this child has no grit, no real work ethic (yet) to work towards a long term goal. Doesn’t matter what mom suggests. Until she wants it for herself, she will stay adrift.

DP but sounds to me like that poster’s daughter has some serious issues. Poor self esteem, possible ADHD. Not simply lazy.

[Anonymous]

I assume the "college or bust" crowd is paying 100% regardless of grades, right? Not making your children pay for your dreams, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of what he doesn’t want to do (college) focus on what he DOES want to do. What’s his plan? How does he want to spend his time, be productive and start supporting himself of heading in that direction? Vocational training, apprenticeship, something else?

Also, he just may not go to college YET. He will probably change his mind once he’s explored the world of low wage work, so keep that 529 funded.

I agree with this. Also the last thing you want is to force him to go to college and have him be so unmotivated that he fails all his classes. Just make sure you don’t give him the option of sitting and doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

My teen has jjst decided he’s not going. He’s studying investing on his own so dar he’s doing well- I’m shocked!

[Anonymous]

That's fine OP, but what plan does your teen have otherwise? Do they want to learn a trade? Join the military? Work while attending job training classes at community college?

It's fine not to go to college, but there is usually some other type of training which has to go on to prepare for any sort of career outside of food service and retail.