Sex and the single mom

[Anonymous]

I am a new single mom with an infant and I was wondering about this topic. Have you chosen to remain celebate for a while? Are you dating, if so how do you meet prospective partners? Are one night stands with no attachment a viable alternative? And, of course...where you you find the time??!

[Anonymous]

It is less of a choice, but lack of going out and men being turned off by the fact that I am even a single mom... really baffled how people meet while single parents

[Anonymous]

agree with PP. mostly hard to find time to invest in meeting someone new. i even find it hard to get my child to bed early enough to call a potential date back at night while i'm still functional. by 9 pm, i usually just want to collapse on the couch (forget make lunch for tomorrow, do dishes, take a shower). it's kind of a depressing subject.

[Anonymous]

i agree with the last writer. i am not functional once i put my 19mos old son to bed. most often i fall asleep with him and once i realize i feel asleep it's midnight or close to it. who can i call at midnight but one of my girlfriends, not a man who will respect me. i'm finding this entire process so hard. sometimes i even consider going back to my son's dad despite the fact i think i would be settling.

[Anonymous]

yuck.

[Anonymous]

Once suggestion I would like to make is, don’t make your self desperate to find a men for sex, men try to use when they meet single mom. Don’t let a men come to your house, if you can ask a friend or a family member to baby sit your child when you go out on a date. Until you find the right caring and loving men to you and your child, as a single mother be very strong don’t let any men depend on you or relax in your house.

[Anonymous]

Married mom here but before I was married I was single. My sons father and I split when my son was 10 months. I was dating again by the time his 1rst birthday came along. I had called a friend that I knew was interested in me previously and we started dating. Agree with PP while dating my mom would keep my son if he stayed overnight. He took to my son by playing with, and when he would come over he would bring toys, diapers etc without me asking, by taking on the father role I allowed him to "move in" (he had his own home though in MD) We have 2 kids and have been married for 5 years. I wish all you ladies the best of of luck. Please be patient though as there are dogs that will just want to use you.

[Anonymous]

Look, sometimes a single mama just needs some things taken care of...a "plumber," so to speak, or a friend with benefits. Even if you're exhausted with a little one, at some point your libido is going to return. Be careful about introducing anyone into your child's life. You can meet someone, get your physical and emotional needs met, and keep your child out of it. I speak from experience, I swear.

The person I am involved with is a single parent as well, so he gets it. This is important to me.

Like many things in the word of being a single mama, this is one of those things where you really need to build your village. Other unpartnered parents you are comfortable with can swap sleepovers with the kids with you.

Now meeting people...that's hard. Nothing says hot and available quite like walking around exhausted with a cranky child in a stroller wrestling with a brick of disposable diapers, does it? I got lucky and met a guy at a previous job, and we started dating shortly after I moved on to another job.

Good luck, and there's nothing wrong with wanting good company and/or being horny.

[Anonymous]

thats interesting 21.15 - how did you know that you were ready? it has been 4 months for me and I feel like I wont ever be ready to date again for another 10 years!

[Anonymous]

21.15 - congratulations, I am so happy that it worked out with you - and with the first guy that you dated after the break up! Nice to hear a happy ending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:thats interesting 21.15 - how did you know that you were ready? it has been 4 months for me and I feel like I wont ever be ready to date again for another 10 years!

Well age had alot to do with it I was 20 at the time. Its all what you feel comfortable with doing. Was I going to sit at the bar and pick up some guy? Or better yet find myself with another looser negative. I was not and never was into the whole dating scene. When I was ready I just thought about hubby and how he always liked me and took it from there. Please date before 10 years You are a mom/dad but you still owe it to your self to get your "plumbing checked" as one mom put it. There are still great guys out there left that love children and the 20 extra pounds so don't be discouraged. My church has a singles social every 2 weeks maybe something like that could work? Or as another PP suggested dating another single parent. When you are ready you will know I wish all you ladies the best of luck

PS maybe you all could exchange contact info for a girls night out to meet people?