2 or 3 year age gap?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have boy that turns 1 this month. We want one more but not sure what is the best age gap. We are discussing whether we should start now and have them with a 2 year age gap, or wait until he is two and have them have a 3 year age gap. I’ve heard some like close in age, and other have recommended a large age gap. Which do you prefer and why?

[Anonymous]

I liked 2.5 because they are a lot more independent at that age, possibly potty trained and not constantly trying to die by that age. Also the age they can start nursery school.

[Anonymous]

We have a three year gap but honestly you sometimes cant predict when you get pregnant. You will be happy with whatever you get.

[Anonymous]

22 month gap. We were absolutely exhausted for the first year. But now about 2 years in, they are inseparable and entertain one another well.

[Anonymous]

I wanted a two year gap and got three. We thought it would be as easy to get pregnant a second time as the first, but nope. I was only 29 when we were trying for our second, too, so you just never know. I would just start trying as soon as you feel ready and not put too much stock in having the perfect spacing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22 month gap. We were absolutely exhausted for the first year. But now about 2 years in, they are inseparable and entertain one another well.

+1 but our baby is 4. They’re so great together.

[Anonymous]

3 is good for paying for preschool. One goes in, one comes out. But it does extend the amount of time you need a nanny.

[Anonymous]

3 or 4, minimum!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted a two year gap and got three. We thought it would be as easy to get pregnant a second time as the first, but nope. I was only 29 when we were trying for our second, too, so you just never know. I would just start trying as soon as you feel ready and not put too much stock in having the perfect spacing.

+1. Secondary infertility here too, came as a complete surprise. Wish we wouldn’t have tried to time the perfect gap and had started trying as soon as we felt ready

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should start trying now because it might take a year for you to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

We opted for three (and a half) years because a baby and a toddler sounded exhausting to me and I liked the idea of the older one starting preschool when I had an infant. It has worked very well for us. They are 2 and almost six now and get along very well. My older son very much embraces the big brother role and the younger worships that ground he walks on.

[Anonymous]

My boys are exactly 2 years apart (bdays one day apart). I love the gap. They play lots of sports together and can do a lot of activities together like soccer, bike riding, tennis, basketball, fishing, etc. it was tonight in the beginning but you will be tired no matter what.

We ended up adding another one when they were 4 and 6. I absolutely love our age gaps. There is no perfect gap. I do remember when they were younger, I wished I had a 3yr gap instead of 2. Now that they are older, I’m glad they are so close in age. They have many mutual friends and play well altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted a two year gap and got three. We thought it would be as easy to get pregnant a second time as the first, but nope. I was only 29 when we were trying for our second, too, so you just never know. I would just start trying as soon as you feel ready and not put too much stock in having the perfect spacing.

+1. Secondary infertility here too, came as a complete surprise. Wish we wouldn’t have tried to time the perfect gap and had started trying as soon as we felt ready

+2. Start trying when you have the shortest gap that would be acceptable to you. I aimed for 2.5 and got 3.4. No problems getting pregnant, but two miscarriages in a row certainly delayed things. Though I do love our gap now. They are close but not competitive with one another, and it sure was easier having a 3.4 yo with a newborn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 month gap. We were absolutely exhausted for the first year. But now about 2 years in, they are inseparable and entertain one another well.

+1 but our baby is 4. They’re so great together.

+2 mine are 4 and 6. Initially I wanted kids 2 - 2.5 years apart, but I'm really happy with 22 months. The really, really rough parts of having two young chikdren were over pretty quickly, and now they're so close and get along so well.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids, all boys. The first two are 25 months apart. The second two are 3 years 1 month apart. So, I have experienced both age gaps. Each has advantages and disadvantages. 2 years is tough at first and I realized later on how little my oldest was when he got a sibling, but those boys are so close to each other and often like to do the same things. 3 years gives you a little breathing room up front, but those boys are farther apart in terms of interests, so there is less overlap in life stages and you have to juggle multiple interests at the same time.