Are there bullies/kids that exclude others in private school?

[Anonymous]

Or perhaps do private schools deal with this better?

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the school OP. Are you looking to stire things up or is your question a serious one? Are you looking at transferring your child? If so, what sex and what grade? What geography?

[Anonymous]

The short answer is Yes. At any school you will find different crowds/cliques. Kids who are more forceful and dominant as well as the kids who are "quirky" in comparison with others in the environment.

Different schools may handle it differently, but don't delude yourself into believing that you can find the perfect environment where no one is ever teased, bullied, left out or otherwise hurt by the behavior and words of other students.

[Anonymous]

I have seen some of the most brutal bullying behaviors in private schools (worked in both) not to mention went to a private where the girls were vicious.

It happens everywhere, in all socioeconomic classes, all races, all schools. The school's program and culture is what helps or hurts bullying behaviors. A lot of people assume that a small school is safer, but some foster unhealthy competitiveness and actually push meanness among students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen some of the most brutal bullying behaviors in private schools (worked in both) not to mention went to a private where the girls were vicious.

It happens everywhere, in all socioeconomic classes, all races, all schools. The school's program and culture is what helps or hurts bullying behaviors. A lot of people assume that a small school is safer, but some foster unhealthy competitiveness and actually push meanness among students.

This was my experience as well, both as a student and a teacher.
At least at a bigger, more diverse school, children have the better chance of relating to some group.

[Anonymous]

DC was bullied in ES private, went to public where there was a clear no tolerance rule and culture. Now in private again for MS(different one), in which the culture also precludes it. My conclusion: it is a lot about what the admin/teachers do, and whether they are willing to stand up to bullies (and especially to their parents). Part of reason I say this is that when DC was bullied in ES, and hearing from other parents w/ same experience, the school seemed to find it easier to engage the bullied child, and so a lot of effort was spent trying to get the victim to change, and much less time spent on the bully - in part becuse the bully's parents often stood up for their child very aggressively. In some ways, while not acceptable, a natural way for an administrator to feel s/he is taking action is to go toward the place that wants to talk about it -- the victim. I'mcurious as to whether others have this experience and, for teachers who read this, whether I am getting it wrong.

[Anonymous]

My DC goes to the McLean school where they have an anti-bullying curriculum that really does make a difference. I agree that this is a reflection of school priorities and leadership.

[Anonymous]

I agree, school administration makes all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Of course because kids are kids. The true question is how the school handles it when it comes to their attention.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course bullying occurs in independent schools. The difference is in how bullying is handled, and this differs among private schools. The school climate and culture, and the administration, will determine that. But while public schools have to work within more stringent parameters, private schools have greater latitude in their approaches to how they handle this.

[Anonymous]

Landon is the worst.

[Anonymous]

For older kids, I think the visit can be really telling - both for parent and child. Never assume your child will be the "exception" if you have doubts.

[Anonymous]

Even within a school, a lot depends on the class composition, especially if it is a small school. One class will have a reputation for being "nice", and the next will be terrors.

In our experience, small private schools can definitely have bullies. The school administration may not want to deal with it, if the bullies in question are a wealthy family or a family with several kids at the school, and they don't want to alienate the family. We've done public and private, and there's physical as well as psychological bullying at both. DS is a "leader" type and attracted a lot of physical bullying from other would-be leaders at his private. Sorry to have to say all this!

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with 21:47 about every part of her comments. We experienced exactly the same.

It is very easy when the class size is small - easy for bullies to manipulate others. We moved to a larger school where the class size is now 90 (and classes are continually mixed up) and impossible for even a handful to gain control. They also have zero tolerance for bullying.

A telling clue is whether or not your school has a written bullying policy in its manual. Our former school didn't and the admin was all over the board about how to address the issues that came up. One child in our class bullied all the other kids for 7 years until some other boys outgrew (and replaced) him.

[Anonymous]

This is the silliest question I've ever heard. "Is there bullying at private schools?" There is bullying everywhere. From the public schools, to the small little Catholic schools, to the big private schools. Were you a kid once? We had bullies back then too. News flash: bullying is not a new thing. It all matters how the schools deal with it.