Daycare drop-off- what's it like for you?

[Anonymous]

This was my son's first week at a home daycare. It feels awkward to me in the mornings when I drop him off. I will preface this by saying that the two in-home providers are very nice and I trust them. What happened for me this morning was that I entered the house and one of the two women gestured to take my son (8 months) from my arms, and I gave him to her. The other one took my diaper bag and the blanket I had around him. We chatted for just a minute...I said I wasn't sure if they wanted to put him in a crib for a nap since, although he normally takes one at that hour, the past two times he cried when he was put in the crib. They said they'd let him play and settle in because he doesn't end up sleeping anyway. Then I kissed my son goodbye in the other woman's arms, said goodbye and left. Not sure why it felt so awkward, but it did.

How long do you linger at daycare at drop-off/pick-up? How much do you chat with your providers? I'm sure it becomes more comfortable over time, but not sure how long it'll take...

[Anonymous]

Mine's at a center so I don't know if that makes a difference. But when my son was an infant, I usually handed him to one of the teachers. Then I'd put his bottles in the fridge for the day, his extra clothes (or whatever I brought in) in his drawer. I might pick him up to give him a kiss goodbye, or I might have done that before I gave him to the teacher. Then I'd just say "bye bye sweetie, see you this afternoon," and left. I only stayed longer if I had questions or they had questions, etc. I've had longer conversations with toddler teachers, and now preschool, since he has more behavioral or potty training issues at times now. As a baby, though, he was really mellow.

[Anonymous]

Daycare drop off was very stressful for me the first couple of weeks-it's emotional, you don't really have a routine yet with the providers, etc.. I would ask them what they prefer in morning-whether you put the bottles, etc.. in the fridge or whether they'd prefer to take the bag and put things away themselves. I think it's reasoanable that they wanted to hold him and let him play a little at first.

For DC's infant drop off, I'd kiss DC and hand her over to a provider if they were not busy with another child, put the bottles in the fridge, say goodbye to the providers and leave. If the provider was busy with another baby, there's was a cushion type circular mat that I would put DC on.

[Anonymous]

It is best for everyone involved if you keep drop-offs brief. It can be disruptive and upsetting for other kids in care and honestly your providers need to be focusing on the kids and not you. I know it's hard but it's also most reassuring for your child if you come in, put baby down or hand to the provider, give a quick run-down of the night before and the a.m. so far, give a kiss goodbye and go. Your child needs to see that you are confident in leaving him/her.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with the 10:02 post. The faster you can facilitate the drop off, the better off for all the children involved, including yours. I have always told my parents they are welcome to call me through the day to check on their child. But I find the longer they linger at the door, the more stressful it is on the child. 9 times out of 10, by the time mom may call on the way to work after a particularly bad morning (maybe child overslept, didnt sleep well, etc which ruins even the best routines) the child has already settled in and is playing with the other kids.

only if and when a child continually cries and is so upset nothing I do can soothe him will I call the parent and discuss it with them. Sometimes its a matter of an earache or something else that is wrong, because rarely can a child not be settled, unless they arent feeling well.

[Anonymous]

DH does drop off, but agree it should be quick. Mainly, you don't want to act like it's a big deal (not that an infant will pick up on this but as your child gets older they do). It's like - "bye, have fun, see you in a few hours!" rather than, "I have to go to work. I will miss you so much. This is painful for me too" type of goodbye.

This will get more seamless as you go - you'll get into a routine and it will be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here...I agree that it shouldn't be a big deal to leave my child, and it's not...I'm fine giving him a quick kiss and saying bye. I was actually more interested in how people interact with their daycare providers. Do your home daycare providers take your child from you immediately? Do they take your bag? Sounds like most people put the bottles in the fridge themselves, but I've not had to do that. Maybe my providers are just trying to be super helpful or something. It just feels a little awkward, but maybe they're all over me because I'm only the second person to drop my kid off.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because you are new they are treating you a little different because they are used to stressed out parents those first few days (especially moms returning to work after maternity leave).

You will get into a more regular flow. If you want to hold your baby for a minute that should be fine of course, on the other hand, we are always rushed in the morning so once we are at daycare it is usually time to go after a quick greeting! It also probably depends when you drop off - if there are other kids there already or if you are the first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...I agree that it shouldn't be a big deal to leave my child, and it's not...I'm fine giving him a quick kiss and saying bye. I was actually more interested in how people interact with their daycare providers. Do your home daycare providers take your child from you immediately? Do they take your bag? Sounds like most people put the bottles in the fridge themselves, but I've not had to do that. Maybe my providers are just trying to be super helpful or something. It just feels a little awkward, but maybe they're all over me because I'm only the second person to drop my kid off.

When my kids were infants the providers (in home family daycare) took my baby immediately as well as my bag. They have systems and routines and unless I had a concern/question or they had some information for me, we kept the exchanges brief. We were all friendly but morning drop offs needed to be kept quick (Puh-lease don't be a lingerer - I agree with the PPs that it's easier on everyone. The stories I could tell about one mom in particular! Ugh!) and in the afternoons, I was ready to just get home. However, when it's your first and when it's an infant, it can sometimes be hard not to linger.