Question about leaving my teen lesbian alone on dates

[Anonymous]

My rising sophomore just turned 15 and is a lesbian. She has a GF. Last time GF visited, teen had a lot of hickeys later. Which is fine.

Question for you older lesbian ladies, do I leave teen home alone with her GF Saturday afternoon? I bet they will mess around. Is 15 too young to become sexually active? How old were you? I waited until 19! Which maybe was too late....

I wouldn't want my 15 year old DD having sex with a boy, but since she can't get pregnant, I don't have the same concerns I would in a hetero relationship.

Do you have any guidance for me as a first time mom of a teen lesbian?

[Anonymous]

They can still give each other STDs, right?

[Anonymous]

I leave mine alone with her GF. She's 16 and they've been dating over a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can still give each other STDs, right?

Teen has already had HPV shot. I think the risk of other diseases is pretty low. I read that oral herpes is the most commonly transmitted genital STD amongst lesbians.

[Anonymous]

I think you should treat their relationship like you would a heterosexual relationship. The emotional entanglements (and broken hearts) are just as intense. If your straight teen daughter were taking birth control (making pregnancy unlikely), would you leave her alone all afternoon with her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I don't see the significance of it being a same-sex relationship (other than the getting pregnant aspect). You cannot control when your (straight or lesbian) daughter will become sexually active. Whether you leave her home alone with her GF or not won't change the outcome. If they want to hook up, they will. Your house is not the only place where they can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should treat their relationship like you would a heterosexual relationship. The emotional entanglements (and broken hearts) are just as intense. If your straight teen daughter were taking birth control (making pregnancy unlikely), would you leave her alone all afternoon with her boyfriend?

+1000

I would be more worried if she was hetero, leaving her alone with her boyfriend, & getting pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Once DD came out, we started educating ourselves about lesbian sex although she’s still too young for dating. We were surprised to find that absent pregnancy ALL the other concerns including STDs, partner violence, and sexual coercion still apply.

That said, her straight sister got hickies from her BF at 16 and by 17 was on BC.

[Anonymous]

(Much) older lesbian here. They will almost certainly fool around if left alone, but they would do that any chance they got anywhere they could find some privacy.

Yes STDs are a concern, and you need to talk to your DD about how to prevent them.

But I think the far greater risk is the same as with any hetero 15 year old in her first relationship -- the potential emotional impact. Lesbian relationships can be very intense, because they often combine both romantic love and a best friendship.

If (when) things go south, she will probably have a very hard time. I know I did. The sex was the least of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(Much) older lesbian here. They will almost certainly fool around if left alone, but they would do that any chance they got anywhere they could find some privacy.

Yes STDs are a concern, and you need to talk to your DD about how to prevent them.

But I think the far greater risk is the same as with any hetero 15 year old in her first relationship -- the potential emotional impact. Lesbian relationships can be very intense, because they often combine both romantic love and a best friendship.

If (when) things go south, she will probably have a very hard time. I know I did. The sex was the least of it.

I agree with this poster. My DD has her first GF and they are very intensely involved. It does seem to be a "best friend" kind of relationship more than a romantic one. My DD doesn't have many friends and her GF is her entire social life... I keep trying to encourage making friends beyond the GF as the GF will be going to college a year before my DD does and I think she won't have anyone.