Autism is a dirty word at some private schools?!

[Anonymous]

My son is high functioning and gifted and we're told he will likely lose any autism diagnosis. We have been exploring private schools and consulting experts and it sounds like our son has a chance at some of the more open minded private schools like Burgandy Farm, McLean School, NY Smith, and Lab and even possibly some private schools that are not for special needs. Here's what we find so alarming... at some places autism is something you hide. Before we got advice, we explored places on our own. Oakwood and Kingsbury were very open-minded and want to get to know the child without judging based on labels. We have since learned our son does not need that small a teacher student ratio, but I am happy to hear these places are so welcoming. Deiner we are told has kids with more special needs than our child, but we looked into before we knew the type of program they offer. I was quite alarmed to find out they don't take autistic children when we have since met an autistic Deiner child. They give you a whole song and dance about the type of student they take and the reality seems different. Lab has a blatant no-autism policy, but I'm told there are children there who have many more quirks than our son and lower IQ. Why would I want to send my child to a place where we have to be afraid to admit he is on the spectrum? NY Smith, McLean school and Burgundy I'm told are more open minded and are willing to see if their environment is a good fit for a child with Asperger's etc rather than making bold judgements based on a label. I understand some children with autism need an environment with ABA and predictable routines, but most people don't even know my child has autism and there are plenty of kids on the spectrum who don't need that level of help. I can't believe some programs might shun my kid without meeting him. The trick I'm told is to apply anyway and keep the diagnosis off the paperwork? Why should we have to deny something about our kids to get them an education? The numbers are growing and moving toward 2% of all boys. I hope the private schools, especially special needs private schools will adapt to the changing population and will stop viewing autism as a dirty word. In the meantime, we will avoid those schools where autism is something be hide.

[Anonymous]

It's not something to hide, exactly, but autism is certainly something to be accommodated. Some schools have enough typically developing applicants that they do not need, or wish, to round out a class with children with disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, I completely agree, but it makes me sick that some schools say they don't accommodate autism and then you visit the school and they have multiple autistic kids.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a difference between the type of population a school wants to have and is well-suited for and what they take when they don't fill. I wouldn't apply to a school with a "no autism" type policy if your child is autistic because the staff probably is not well-trained to deal with the child's needs and they may not be willing to extend themselves as much. I agree honestly is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

You may see autistic kids at those schools, but are they making it there? Are they happy? Are the teachers willing to accommodate them or annoyed? Is it the best environment for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may see autistic kids at those schools, but are they making it there? Are they happy? Are the teachers willing to accommodate them or annoyed? Is it the best environment for them?

I'd also add have the school and parents acknowledged them? I've got two special needs kids and after all the research, study, assessements and therapy we've been through, I'm pretty good at spotting kids with challenges. When I see some of these kids in the classroom with no accomodations or services, I'm amazed that "someone" doesn't say "hey", this kid needs some help. Instead, the muddle through with confidence eroding, never able to learn to their potential. What amazes me even more are the parents who know there are issues but have more "important" things to do.

You're doing a good job, OP. You'll find a good place!

[Anonymous]

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, if your son will lose the autism diagnosis? Then he was not autistic to begin with. Autism is a lifelong condition. While early intervention can make an enormous difference in the child's ability to learn to relate to his peers, THERE IS NO CURE.

There is no cure for autism.

If a child is going to lose his(her) autism diagnosis? THEN HE(SHE) WAS NEVER AUTISTIC IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Period.

[Anonymous]

I know The Auburn School might be too far for you but I've been hearing some good things about it and it sounds like you have the type of kid they accept: bright with Aspergers or high functioning Autism.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest Auburn like the previous poster. You may want to look at Congressional too. I think Burgundy Farm may have been mentioned? Are you in MD, DC or VA? Diener is for a lower functioning child anyway and Lab may have changed since the kids on the spectrum started. I think there may be a relatively new head of school there. It's always a good idea to go where a child's learning style is welcome.

[Anonymous]

I'd also add have the school and parents acknowledged them? I've got two special needs kids and after all the research, study, assessements and therapy we've been through, I'm pretty good at spotting kids with challenges.

Despite your research and experiences, unless you are a qualified child psychologist, you could never diagnose a child with ASD by looking or observing them. Many other syndromes, disabilities, disorders have 'autistic' traits, but are not...I get what you're saying, but don't try to diagnose other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd also add have the school and parents acknowledged them? I've got two special needs kids and after all the research, study, assessements and therapy we've been through, I'm pretty good at spotting kids with challenges.

Despite your research and experiences, unless you are a qualified child psychologist, you could never diagnose a child with ASD by looking or observing them. Many other syndromes, disabilities, disorders have 'autistic' traits, but are not...I get what you're saying, but don't try to diagnose other people's kids.

Did I say I can diagnosie kids with ASD? I don't see where I said that. If you'd paid attention to what you were reading you'd see that I said I was good at "spotting" kids with "challenges". You totally didn't get what I was saying. Maybe you've got some impulsivity problems of your own.

[Anonymous]

Those of you who suggested Auburn--do you have kids there? If so, how are they liking it? We are starting the year at FCPS and DS is miserable. We love what we have seen and heard when talking to Auburn staff, but the price tag makes me hesitant to bit the bullet.

[Anonymous]

DS is in K so we're thinking about Auburn for next year. At the open house they talked about their financial aid program and about possibly writing off the tuitionon your taxes. I think some of the info is on the website.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask which FCPS your child is miserable at? We will be going the public school route most likely. Thanks!!

Also, it seems whenever autism comes up there are some people who get fisty. I totally get what the person meant about spotting challenges that look a lot like ASD and I was not the least bit offended. Also, to the poster who said it's not autism if you lose the label...according the the most recent research a large percentage of kids are indeed losing the label with enough intervention.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather not say which school because in all honesty, I do think the teachers are trying. It's a good school--it's just not right for our son. He is bored, and still doesn't know how to interact with his peers. A once a week social skills group at lunch time is not cutting it. Middle school is right around the corner for us, and I am terrified.