How often do you text with your teen?

[Anonymous]

My 13 yo nephew joined my family on vacation for 5 days this summer and I noticed that he is texting his mother (my SIL) often during the day (2-5 times per hour), and called her 2-3 times each day. My DH's parents (it's his sister's son) were also with us on vacation, and my MIL also brought up to me and DH how much our nephew/her grandson was texting/calling his mother and that it seemed like a lot.

My nephew has been going to sleep-away camp for 3-4 years, so the texting/calling is not because it was his first time away from his parents. He was having a great time swimming/playing with his cousins during the trip (total of 7 cousins there), so he wasn't bored all day. He was also texting his friends occasionally, but not as often as his mother.

How often do you text with your teen on average? More/less when they are away from you?

FWIW, I am not planning to say anything to SIL or her family (although my MIL might - she is that type, lol), I am just curious if this is typical for teens now, mostly because we didn't have cell phone when I was 13 so things were very different. To be clear, I'm not judging nephew/SIL, just curious if this amount of texting is the new normal for teens/parents.

[Anonymous]

At home during the school year, maybe 1x a day. On vacation together, maybe 2 or 3x a day. On vacation apart-- usually a call at the end of the day, maybe a photo text of something interesting and a couple good morning and good night texts.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is unusual, given what I had read a while ago about college students of this generation:

"College students communicate with their parents on average 13.4 times a week…about 40 percent of college students are in touch with parents by phone, email, text or visit at minimum once a day."

http://www.npr.org/2012/09/25/161716306/phone-home-tech-draws-parents-college-kids-closer

[Anonymous]

She never texts me during the school day. Sometimes on the way to school but rarely. If we're meeting up after school/work she texts if she's running late.

When she's away from home, mostly only if she's lonely/bored/upset. So a sleepover at a friend's house? Probably not at all. 6 weeks at Grandma's? A few calls and more texts.

She texts me more in the winter because she's asking me to meet her where she gets off the train to walk her home so she's not walking in the dark at 6pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 yo nephew joined my family on vacation for 5 days this summer and I noticed that he is texting his mother (my SIL) often during the day (2-5 times per hour), and called her 2-3 times each day. My DH's parents (it's his sister's son) were also with us on vacation, and my MIL also brought up to me and DH how much our nephew/her grandson was texting/calling his mother and that it seemed like a lot.

My nephew has been going to sleep-away camp for 3-4 years, so the texting/calling is not because it was his first time away from his parents. He was having a great time swimming/playing with his cousins during the trip (total of 7 cousins there), so he wasn't bored all day. He was also texting his friends occasionally, but not as often as his mother.

How often do you text with your teen on average? More/less when they are away from you?

FWIW, I am not planning to say anything to SIL or her family (although my MIL might - she is that type, lol), I am just curious if this is typical for teens now, mostly because we didn't have cell phone when I was 13 so things were very different. To be clear, I'm not judging nephew/SIL, just curious if this amount of texting is the new normal for teens/parents.

To be clear, you are absolutely judging them.

Why does this bother you? Are you afraid he was telling your SIL that he wasn't having a good time, that you were mean to him, that he was bored?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes a lot. Sometimes not a lot. Depends on what is going on.

[Anonymous]

This kind of thing is very cultural.

I still speak with my parents daily and I'm 38 (and they live in a different country).

DH speaks with the Mediterranean side of his family 2-3x week, and with his German side once every few months, but he visits the German family more and feels closer to/better understood by them.

In other words, just let other people's texting and calling patterns be.

[Anonymous]

My college student and I text tons and tons every day. Texting is like thinking. Oh a pretty flower, let's share. Oh it's raining, lets share. Oh I got a great cup of coffee, let's share. I hope it continues until I'm no longer thinking.

[Anonymous]

One teenager texts me a lot, at least 5 to 10 texts a day. She sends her grades at lunch time at school, makes small talk, and let's me know what's going on. This teen also talks a lot. My other teen texts only to communicate necessary information. One or two texts a day. This one is much quieter and much more private.

[Anonymous]

My boys are very private and independent. A text only happens for logistics--like can you pick me up etc.

My daughter is just 12, and is more likely to text me something that's not about getting a ride. But still, not as much as people here talk about. Once in a long, long while.

To be fair, I don't text them much either, and I don't talk to my own parents often.

I can't imagine going off to college and texting a lot with my parents. As a parent, I can see how it feels good, but am so glad I grew up during the pre-cell phone days. I loved being on my own.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys. While in college, I would text them to make sure they were breathing. Now that they are graduated, I am usually the communicator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My college student and I text tons and tons every day. Texting is like thinking. Oh a pretty flower, let's share. Oh it's raining, lets share. Oh I got a great cup of coffee, let's share. I hope it continues until I'm no longer thinking.

Girl, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My college student and I text tons and tons every day. Texting is like thinking. Oh a pretty flower, let's share. Oh it's raining, lets share. Oh I got a great cup of coffee, let's share. I hope it continues until I'm no longer thinking.

Wow, my DD graduated a year ago and she only really texted me if she was feeling very low or very high. And it was mostly either "Can I call you now?" or "Guess what! I have to tell you something!" Texting was DEFINITELY NOT like thinking. But I am queen of "put your phone away; don't be like those idiots who walk down the street clutching their phones like they're life preservers". So my kids keep their phones in bags or pockets.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older (teens and college students). With the college students, we speak on the phone once or twice a week, but probably text once a day; sometimes more. We have a family text thread going and they send photos; links to interesting articles, videos and songs. Or they'll text "hey, guess who I just saw/heard from?", etc. DH and I do the same. Very little about logistics actually. For example, today one college student texted about the "taco truck on every corner" meme and another texted about his soccer practice. My high school senior will text less often because she's living at home, but when she was away this summer, we'd usually get one text per day -- lots of photos because she was traveling to interesting and beautiful places.

There's a huge difference, though, between a 13 y.o. and a high school senior or college student. You might expect a younger kid to text and call more frequently. That said, it does seem like your nephew might be on the higher frequency end of the spectrum, but, if he was having fun and participating in family activities, it doesn't seem like a problem.

[Anonymous]

My son is 18, in college and living at home. He texts me every day, multiple times a day. Usually small stuff, "like what are we having for dinner," links to news articles he thinks are interesting, conversations about philosophical things, funny stories about what happened that day, even funny pictures.