My daughter is depressed over a guy she didn't date

[Anonymous]

Long story short- my daughter just finished up her summer internship last week. It was a very small office, and her boss was only 24 (she is 18). Well...she developed a major crush on him...made worse by the fact that the boss and the other intern were always hanging out after work and she was never extended an invite. The other intern was also apparently much better than her in terms of quality of work. Well, now the internship's over, and she says she spends her days watching to see if he'd send her a text, looking at his Facebook, and getting sad when he likes things of other people but not hers. I told her to do something to get her mind off him...make cookies...and she goes, "I can't. Cookies remind me of him because he said he liked my cookies." Sigh...

[Anonymous]

I remember these crushes during internships at that age (though not for my boss). It'll go away with time. It's probably best that they don't have contact. Just keep trying to distract her without being obvious about it.

[Anonymous]

Lol, she'll move on.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is learning the most important rule about corporate america during her internship. If you are a young female spend all your time and energies establishing a personal relationship with your male boss. I'm sure she will go far and be promoted much faster than her hard working contemperaries. Great job mom.

[Anonymous]

"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

[Anonymous]

So no invite was ever extended to her to hang out, boss hung out with someone else, and she, by some miracle, thinks he will now show interest? Buy her a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" and give her a small, but soft, dose of reality. He obviously wasn't into her then, so he's most certainly not going to start texting her now or liking things on her Facebook. At 24, he is also probably not looking for an 18 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

Not familiar with men, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

Not familiar with men, eh?

Sure I am. I acknowledge he wouldn't turn down an opportunity to be balls deep in her, but date? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

Not familiar with men, eh?

Sure I am. I acknowledge he wouldn't turn down an opportunity to be balls deep in her, but date? No.

Why so crass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

You seriously think 6 years is too much of an age difference, categorically? Not just in this specific case when the guy is obviously uninterested?

Maybe I just know some unusual people/couples, because within my circle of acquaintances I'm aware of a handful of 5+ year age gap relationships... some are working out, some fell apart.

In any case, OP's DD needs a gentle reality check to accept the fact that not all romantic interest will be reciprocated. Unfortunately, this is not likely to be the last time she's interested in someone who does not return that interest. It happens at least a few times to most people who date. The key is to move on with grace and dignity.

[Anonymous]

This could serve as a good opportunity for her to learn about reading signals. Not to be harsh but if he never gave her any inclination of interest (beyond being friendly/polite at work, which a normal person wouldn't interpret as romantic) then she's delusional for thinking she could have had a shot. Better she learn this lesson now when she's young than turn into the creepy girl that people feel sorry for and don't want to be around. I know people (of both genders) that are still like this into their 30s and 40s - developing one-sided crushes on people who won't give them the time of day and making others feel sorry for them/uncomfortable simultaneously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

Not familiar with men, eh?

Sure I am. I acknowledge he wouldn't turn down an opportunity to be balls deep in her, but date? No.

Why so crass?

Entertainment value.

[Anonymous]

^agree with PPs! OP, I grew up with a girl with similar patterns of falling for men who didn't reciprocate and her parents made it 1000x worse by constantly telling her that sometimes men act like they don't like you when they do, that she should hold out hope and wait and see what happens, etc. She didn't have a boyfriend until her mid-twenties because she kept creeping after men who were only interested in being her friend.

Not saying that this is a pattern for your daughter (maybe it's the first time it has happened) but now is not the time to coddle her. You don't have to be mean about it but I would be firm in saying "did he do anything to make you feel like he was interested?" And if her answers are he was nice to her and ate her cookies (lol) it's your job as her mother to let her know that she's misinterpreting friendship as something romantic. Better to figure it out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 24 yo man wants to date your 18 yo child ass"

You seriously think 6 years is too much of an age difference, categorically? Not just in this specific case when the guy is obviously uninterested?

Maybe I just know some unusual people/couples, because within my circle of acquaintances I'm aware of a handful of 5+ year age gap relationships... some are working out, some fell apart.

In any case, OP's DD needs a gentle reality check to accept the fact that not all romantic interest will be reciprocated. Unfortunately, this is not likely to be the last time she's interested in someone who does not return that interest. It happens at least a few times to most people who date. The key is to move on with grace and dignity.

Not PP but it's not a six-year age gap that's a problem, but the huge difference in maturity and life experience between 18 and 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^agree with PPs! OP, I grew up with a girl with similar patterns of falling for men who didn't reciprocate and her parents made it 1000x worse by constantly telling her that sometimes men act like they don't like you when they do, that she should hold out hope and wait and see what happens, etc. She didn't have a boyfriend until her mid-twenties because she kept creeping after men who were only interested in being her friend.

Not saying that this is a pattern for your daughter (maybe it's the first time it has happened) but now is not the time to coddle her. You don't have to be mean about it but I would be firm in saying "did he do anything to make you feel like he was interested?" And if her answers are he was nice to her and ate her cookies (lol) it's your job as her mother to let her know that she's misinterpreting friendship as something romantic. Better to figure it out now.

Oh, I don't think she ever ever expected them to date, and she knew that going in. But I think it was hard for her to fall for someone (in secret, LOL) who didn't even want her as a friend. Said it made her feel so inadequate.