How do you handle the bad kid?

[Anonymous]

So, in line with the thread about how to keep kids out of trouble, what do you do about the bad kids?

I had a recent situation with a neighbor's kid who is younger than mine, being a bad influence on him and he's a bully and has been in physical altercations (not with my son, the kid he bullies). Hubby made me turn a blind eye toward the situation, but thing after thing kept happening. The last straw that FINALLY got hubby's attention was that the kid wrote on our walls during a sleep over (not nice stuff either). He's 11 by the way and simply should know better, but apparently does not. While I can't agree with nor change how this kid is parented, he is no longer welcome in our home. His parents don't understand why we would have a problem with the F you written on our wall and other numerous things. These people are clueless!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, in line with the thread about how to keep kids out of trouble, what do you do about the bad kids?

I had a recent situation with a neighbor's kid who is younger than mine, being a bad influence on him and he's a bully and has been in physical altercations (not with my son, the kid he bullies). Hubby made me turn a blind eye toward the situation, but thing after thing kept happening. The last straw that FINALLY got hubby's attention was that the kid wrote on our walls during a sleep over (not nice stuff either). He's 11 by the way and simply should know better, but apparently does not. While I can't agree with nor change how this kid is parented, he is no longer welcome in our home. His parents don't understand why we would have a problem with the F you written on our wall and other numerous things. These people are clueless!

How did you tell them and what did they say exactly?

[Anonymous]

Write this kid off. Bad influence and you don't need to worry about what he is going to do next.

[Anonymous]

Just watched the documentary The Mask You Live In. It is a sad and accurate portrayal of how boys are raised in our society. It is heart breaking. Watch it and you will understand why your young boy neighbor is acting that way. Don't write him off. It is never as simple as "he is just a bully," majority of bullies do it out of fear, something similar happening to them. It is a learned behavior. I recommend this documentary to all.

[Anonymous]

Birds of a feather flock together. Do you really want your kid associating with a kid who has a terrible reputation?

[Anonymous]

He is no longer welcome in your home. I'm assuming they allow it in their home or are doing it and its best just to avoid the family.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow him in my home either, but I am curious how he responds when you tell him that he shouldn't have done whatever it is he did. Does he learn from his mistakes? Does he listen to you? Is he otherwise a caring friend?
Why do you think he does these things? Does he have untreated ADHD or some another kind of disorder?

[Anonymous]

I keep my kid busy, never suggest getting together with the other kid, and keep suggesting nicer kids who I like for her to be friends with.

I talk about the qualities that make a good friend (not putting you in difficult situations, not making you choose between following your parents rules and doing something with the friend, being reliable, keeping secrets, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Why are you hosting a sleep over for a kid who is bullying another kid to the point of getting into physical altercations? You are complicit. Gross. I would not allow a kid like that in my house as a guest, even if he didn't write "Fuck" on the wall. (Seriously, that is what bothers you? You can beat up other kids, just don't write on my walls....)

[Anonymous]

OP, you know what the problem with this kid is, you wrote it. His parents don't see the problem with this and don't understand why you are unhappy about it. What does that tell you about what kind of parents they are to the "bad" kid?