NHS Ceremony or Basketball Practice?

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer-this isn't a life or death question and I'm perfectly capable of making the decision, but it'd be nice to have others' opinions.

DS is a high school sophomore who was invited to apply for NHS. He has no interest in NHS, but understands that it's good for college applications, etc. and that I would like him to graduate with his stole (silly, I know). He's a great kid who gets good grades in honors classes without prompting or nagging. Our general philosophy is that if he takes care of his business, then we're not in his business. He was accepted into NHS and there's a ceremony, but he's got AAU basketball practice that night and he'd rather go to practice. I'm thinking I should just let him go to practice since he doesn't care about the ceremony at all, so his attendance would be about my preference and taking photos, etc.

Do you think I should make him go to the ceremony?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Ue should go to the ceremony

[Anonymous]

I'd let him go to practice - its just the ceremony, right? He is still in the NHS? Smart boy, then, the ceremony is just for show. Practice is being part of a team and he isn't missing anything except the photo op

[Anonymous]

You don't need to go to the ceremony to be in NHS.

And NHS does nothing for college acceptance. I work in the field and it's meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to go to the ceremony to be in NHS.

And NHS does nothing for college acceptance. I work in the field and it's meaningless.

OP here-I'm actually glad to hear that NHS does nothing for college acceptance. At our school, the acceptances seem to be somewhat arbitrary with lots of great kids not getting in and no one checking the accuracy of what some of the kids claim on their applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to go to the ceremony to be in NHS.

And NHS does nothing for college acceptance. I work in the field and it's meaningless.

OP here-I'm actually glad to hear that NHS does nothing for college acceptance. At our school, the acceptances seem to be somewhat arbitrary with lots of great kids not getting in and no one checking the accuracy of what some of the kids claim on their applications.

OP, what one PP says doesn't necessarily apply everywhere, all the time. NHS might help with some applications; you can't know for sure. It can't hurt. The PP is making a huge, blanket statement that may or may not apply to your son's eventual college choices. And I wouldn't worry about what other kids at your HS do or don't put on applications or who does or doesn't get into certain schools. It's just not worth having on your radar, frustrating though it is to know that some kid lied on an application.

I would not make your son choose either the practice or the ceremony, but I would point out to him that the NHS ceremony is a one-time-only deal, whereas basketball practices happen all the time. And he's earned an honor here--this is something he worked for by being a solid student. It's not hugely exciting to him, maybe, but if it's meaningful to you, tell him so.

If he is in NHS, by the way, he might find that there are expectations about his participating in certain things such as service projects and a certain number of NHS meetings during the school year. Will he consistently want to avoid any such meetings or projects if his NHS chapter expects them? If so, it might not be worth it to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to go to the ceremony to be in NHS.

And NHS does nothing for college acceptance. I work in the field and it's meaningless.

OP here-I'm actually glad to hear that NHS does nothing for college acceptance. At our school, the acceptances seem to be somewhat arbitrary with lots of great kids not getting in and no one checking the accuracy of what some of the kids claim on their applications.

OP, what one PP says doesn't necessarily apply everywhere, all the time. NHS might help with some applications; you can't know for sure. It can't hurt. The PP is making a huge, blanket statement that may or may not apply to your son's eventual college choices. And I wouldn't worry about what other kids at your HS do or don't put on applications or who does or doesn't get into certain schools. It's just not worth having on your radar, frustrating though it is to know that some kid lied on an application.

I would not make your son choose either the practice or the ceremony, but I would point out to him that the NHS ceremony is a one-time-only deal, whereas basketball practices happen all the time. And he's earned an honor here--this is something he worked for by being a solid student. It's not hugely exciting to him, maybe, but if it's meaningful to you, tell him so.

If he is in NHS, by the way, he might find that there are expectations about his participating in certain things such as service projects and a certain number of NHS meetings during the school year. Will he consistently want to avoid any such meetings or projects if his NHS chapter expects them? If so, it might not be worth it to him.

OP here-Don't get me wrong, I'm not assuming that NHS is meaningless to every college everywhere based on one poster here. But, at the same time, I'm glad to hear that it may not mean as much as we're told it is. My oldest son did not get in as a sophomore, even though he was seemingly more qualified than my current sophomore, and he was really upset about it. There's just so much pressure on kids to get outstanding grades in the hardest classes while volunteering, playing sports, playing an instrument, etc., etc., that it's just good to get a little perspective. My son knows that he'll be expected to participate in service projects and meetings and he's fine with that. If I pressed the issue, he'd go to the ceremony without a problem and that's what may happen; I'm thinking about it. It's more meaningful to me that he's the kind of student that earns acceptance into NHS than attending the ceremony, so I'm trying to balance the give and take...

[Anonymous]

I have decided to let my son make his own decisions with clubs, work and sports. He has to deal with the pitfalls of making the wrong decision with meaningless parts of his life. It is a good growing experience.

Neither is going to make or break his life, let him decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to go to the ceremony to be in NHS.

And NHS does nothing for college acceptance. I work in the field and it's meaningless.

OP here-I'm actually glad to hear that NHS does nothing for college acceptance. At our school, the acceptances seem to be somewhat arbitrary with lots of great kids not getting in and no one checking the accuracy of what some of the kids claim on their applications.

No, I actually think it matters a lot to you....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have decided to let my son make his own decisions with clubs, work and sports. He has to deal with the pitfalls of making the wrong decision with meaningless parts of his life. It is a good growing experience.

Neither is going to make or break his life, let him decide.

Disagree. Not showing up at practice could have profound consequences I terms of getting on a coach's s*** list, etc.

[Anonymous]

yeah but I agree that the kids can make his own decision. He can let down his teammates and coach or let down his mom or whatever, but he should learn to decide on his own what is important and deal with the consequences.

"Sorry coach I couldn't make practice but I was awarded a one time honor. I'll practice extra after school tomorrow".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah but I agree that the kids can make his own decision. He can let down his teammates and coach or let down his mom or whatever, but he should learn to decide on his own what is important and deal with the consequences.

"Sorry coach I couldn't make practice but I was awarded a one time honor. I'll practice extra after school tomorrow".

I don't disagree, but I can also tell you that many coaches just don't care. No excuse is good enough for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have decided to let my son make his own decisions with clubs, work and sports. He has to deal with the pitfalls of making the wrong decision with meaningless parts of his life. It is a good growing experience.

Neither is going to make or break his life, let him decide.

Disagree. Not showing up at practice could have profound consequences I terms of getting on a coach's s*** list, etc.

Any coach who would put a kid on a shitlist for attending an academic recognition ceremony is a dickweed who should not be coaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have decided to let my son make his own decisions with clubs, work and sports. He has to deal with the pitfalls of making the wrong decision with meaningless parts of his life. It is a good growing experience.

Neither is going to make or break his life, let him decide.

Disagree. Not showing up at practice could have profound consequences I terms of getting on a coach's s*** list, etc.

Any coach who would put a kid on a shitlist for attending an academic recognition ceremony is a dickweed who should not be coaching.

Then tyIs behavior by the coach needs to be brought to the attention of the school administration.

No kid should be punished or benched for attending their NHS induction ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have decided to let my son make his own decisions with clubs, work and sports. He has to deal with the pitfalls of making the wrong decision with meaningless parts of his life. It is a good growing experience.

Neither is going to make or break his life, let him decide.

Disagree. Not showing up at practice could have profound consequences I terms of getting on a coach's s*** list, etc.

Exactly and that is a "consequence (aka pitfall)" of making that decision. In the scheme of things, being on a coaches "shitlist" is meaningless and a good growing experience.

Coaches love you one day, hate you the next... depending if you score or not.