Participation Trophies

[Anonymous]

Ahhhh... it is that time of the year again, with the end-of-the-year school parties and end-of-the-season sports parties. A minor controversy is brewing on our DS's sports team because one parent has emailed the team strongly urging that, unlike previous seasons, the coach not hand out trophies to each team member at the party this year in order to better teach the children the value of true accomplishment and keeping things simple. She suggested that if something is handed out, a ribbon might be more appropriate and requested that if trophies were purchased that one not be purchased for her DS. (She emphasized that this request was not based on financial considerations and that she would rather that their money go towards the coaches' gift). Now and then, you run across these articles discussing how these "feel-good trophies" are excessive, are detrimental to children because they don't truly "earn" them, etc. etc. On the other hand, I heard one parent remark along the lines of: "My son is not athletically gifted and never will be -- he has worked hard this season attending the practices and games and staying committed to the team -- he probably will never have the opportunity earn a "real trophy" in the future -- is it really that harmful?" Although I do lean towards one of the two approaches, I can see both sides. I realize this isn't exactly one of the most compelling parenting issues out there, but I'm curious as to what other teams do and what others' opinions are?

[Anonymous]

This just happened on DD's team - sort of. One of the parents opted not to get a trophy for their daughter -- I wasn't sure what the reason was, but since the throphy was only $6 - I had to guess that was the reason. These are 8 year old girls. I do see the point too, but I'm also going to feel really horrible that she is the only one not getting a throphy. What the heck is the difference between a throphy and a ribbon anyhow? $5?

DH said they just did a piece on this on NPR recently - how we are raising a generation of kids who will go out into the business world and expect rewards at every turn. The line of thinking seems logical - but sometimes I really think we parents over-analyze everything.

I say, let that parent do what they think is best for his child and you all can do what you think is best for yours.

[Anonymous]

It's hard and no matter what you (or the team) decides there will always be someone with a different opinion.

For us, we sorta hyped up the pizza party (end of the season party) and really made that the main attraction. We only handed out trophies if the team placed - and that was 3 years ago, so, no, for the past 2 years no trophy/ribbon awards have been given out.

We also centered on a team award - new jerseys, water bottles with the logo, etc. which you could, in fact, argue is similar to a trophy, but just more practical.

[Anonymous]

In MSI (soccer) they have particpation trophies until about age 8 and then they stop. This seemed to work well for my son and the coach did a great job of talking about their individual achievements when he passed them out. I don't think giving trophies to a 7 or 8 year old is going to cause lasting harm or create unrealistic expectations. In fact it's kind of nice to have them as mementos of the seasons he's played. I do think it has to be all or nothing - can't believe a parent would withhold that from a child if everyone else is getting them.

[Anonymous]

I was a terrible athlete as a child. My dad coached sports and my older sister and brother were awesome athletes. The only trophies I received were team trophies when my team won a championship. I remember thinking I hadn't really earned them b/c I never got to play (sat on the bench!) too much. Anyway, at 9 years old I told my parents I hated sports, became involved in other activities that I won awards for. I knew I had earned those.

I guess I relay this anecdote to convey that kids have a general idea of what they "earn" and put into a team. I probably would have been upset if I was the only member of the team not to get a trophy, but getting one never made be expect to receive one at every turn.

[Anonymous]

I think team "momento" trophies are great for recreational teams. The kids know what they represent. Give them credit. With select or travel teams, there typically are no trophies unless the team actually wins a championship or a division. My son''s rec "trophies" line his shelves, they're great souvenirs. The truly "earned" trophy is one his travel soccer team was division champs. He knows the difference. That NPR piece sounds hyped. My son got ribbons at school sometimes, for being a good reader or some such, but his favorite ribbon is from the citywide science fair. Again, he knows the difference. If the NPR piece is grounded in reality, part of that reality is kids who are not bright enough to differentiate. I do not for a second buy that!

[Anonymous]

when his travel team ... ah typos!

[Anonymous]

My kids have played numerous sports over the years and I cringed whenever those participation trophies were given out -- both because I worried that it would create an "all about me" expectation of rewards for just showing up and because I just hated the thought of all those trophies sitting in a landfill somewhere.

Now, with my oldest in high school, I see that my concerns on the first score were needless -- he's a hard-working kid who gets it that sometimes you're the star who gets the recognition and acclaim, but sometimes you're the journeyman who gets the satisfaction of just showing up -- even without the trophy.

On the other hand, we still have all those trophies sitting on shelves in their rooms (our youngest is still accumulating them as she's in 3rd grade) and I'm still disgusted by the thought that they'll end up in a landfill. I know there are organizations that collect trophies, take the plaques off them and recycle them for other kids and teams who can't afford new trophies. Our swim team held a collection for one such organization, but we still have all the ones from other sports.

So, I love the idea of giving the kids some memento that's more practical, useful and maybe greener (e.g., a towel for swimmers or a water bottle made from recycled plastic would be ideal).

[Anonymous]

True, it's a good thought, but in the grand scheme of stuff, souvenir trophies are small change compared to batteries, computers, printer, old TVs, radios, cars and goodness me all the nonrecyclable toys kids in the U.S. Oh, and old balls, soccer, basketball, they go to the landfill, too! And I bet all the driving we do for kids' away games is worse for the environment in the aggregate than souvenir trophies. Of course if they could be recycled, I'm all for it. But let's keep things in perspective!

[Anonymous]

What the heck is the difference between a throphy and a ribbon anyhow? $5?

They both will end up in a landfill one day, anyway, so why not go with a ribbon to reduce the wastefulness (or nothing).

I have to admit my 5 year olds first soccer "team" experience ended with a trophy and she liked getting one. But, do we need to do this every year?

[Anonymous]

Certificate and team photo is a nice way to go -- can be recycled if you (or your child) are not the sentimental type or put in an album if you are.

[Anonymous]

We made dvds of the kids and handed them out in a "ceremony" where we stated what that kid had done very well during the season. Then we watched the dvd (basically, a slide show with music - maybe 6 minutes).

[Anonymous]

Both of our kids play sports but are not on travel teams or star players - just like to play. Trophies for soccer, basketball etc. stopped at about age 7 or 8. Nobody (parents or kids) seemed to mind - the kids still love to play and would rather win a tournament or championship then a participation trophy. They do know the difference - (they are 9-11 now). The trophy will not keep them playing - fun and love of the game will.

[Anonymous]

Difference between a trophy and a ribbon -

Big difference. Not everyone collects the pittance of money from the players - sometimes a coach or a gracious parent swallow the $$. So, $5 x 12 = NOT A TRIVIAL SUM for all of us.

[Anonymous]

10:22 If it's not a trivial sum, you should collect the money. I bet parents have no idea or they'd gladly cover their share of the cost.