How to handle noise sensitivity in school?

[Anonymous]

My DS is 4 years old and is very sensitive to specific sounds. He doesn't meet the criteria for SPD because he has no other apparent sensory issues and he's actually okay 95% of the time -- his only major sensitivity is adults singing together in booming voices (he's fine in music class, which is mostly kids singing). When he's tired he likes things to be a bit more quiet as well but in general he's able to handle loud environments. He has no other developmental issues. But when a group sings "happy birthday" he becomes SO upset, cries and shakes. It really frightens him. At present he copes with it fine in his preschool classroom of 15 kids and 3 teachers... he doesn't like it, but knows what to expect and doesn't break down (and he knows cupcakes are coming ). But when we're at a birthday party or pass by a concert of people singing, he freaks out. Next year he'll be in an open classroom at school and there will be two groups of 18 kids in the space with several teachers, and there will be MANY birthdays that they'll all celebrate together. I'm really worried about how to handle this. Should the teachers give him the opportunity to leave the classroom when everyone is singing together? Or is it better to expose him to it regularly in the hopes that he'll become desensitized and cope better in the future?
I would be very interested in hearing how other parents with children who are sensitive in this way have handled this issue. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

You might try looking into a 504b plan for him, if he is in school in DC. It would give him special accomodations that may better meet his needs.

[Anonymous]

My son sounds similar to yours, OP. He doesn't meet the criteria for a diagnosis, but does have some traits in common with SPD, particularly noise sensitivity. At preschool, he was crying and prostrating himself on the floor with upset. Another teacher (who has a son with SPD) suggested that my son be given a set of noise-dampening headphones to keep in his cubby. Whenever things got too loud for him, he could get them from his cubby and wear them, while remaining in the room and participating to whatever extent felt comfortable to him. This idea was a godsend for him! I think it worked for several reasons: first, it reduced the noise level (duh). But I think it also helped that he was able to use these himself, as needed, which helped him feel more in control of the situation. Further, it enabled him to remain in the classroom with his mates, rather than being isolated outside, which meant that it was easier to transition to not using them, if that makes sense.

I don't like the idea of trying to desensitize a sensitive kid. I think it's unlikely to work, and will just make a kid miserable in the process. Also, they are who they are, and trying to make them into something different sends (what is to me) the wrong message. That said, my son used the headset for one year in preschool, and hasn't asked for it since. (He's now at a different school because we moved.)

(My son also is gifted, and there is some overlap between SPD and giftedness in sensitivity traits, btw - perhaps that is the case with your son as well. If so, let me know and I can give you more references, if you like.)

[Anonymous]

I thought my son was the ONLY one He asks me 10 times at a birthday party when they are going to sing Happy Birthday. He gets his hands ready to cover his ears. He does have other sensory issues though and is in OT for them. I would ask to check out the classroom he will be in next year. Is it one of those horrible open plan classrooms they thought was a good idea long ago? If so, I would look elsewhere. I know regular kids who have difficulties in environments like that. My son's OT also said ear plugs might help esp since he would be in control of their use. Part of the problem is the "being out of control" and part of the problem is the noise. The ear plugs may address both issues. Best of luck.