itouch with restrictions - Can I do this? BTDT?

[Anonymous]

The difference in price between a nano and itouch is not much, and you get more for your money with the itouch. However, I would like almost 12 YO DD to just use it as a way to listen to music and buy songs from itunes on her own during the school year. She already has a dumb phone for emergencies.

I would use the restrictions in settings to block wifi and camera most of the time. I would not let her know the restrictions passcode, and I would enter it if if she wanted to buy songs or apps. If gaming apps became a problem during the school year, I would delete and reinstall over vacations. During non-school times I would let her go on wifi, use the camera, chat w/ friends, etc. if we were away from home.

She already gets way too much screen time on our home computer in the living room, and I like having her access the internet where we can see it.

Anybody BTDT? Is there a a way for teens to get around the restrictions passcode?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

You sound like a nut. Just talk about reasonable expectations for use. You can't hover over them all their lives. Help them think for themselves.

[Anonymous]

When my teen was about your DD's age, she bought an iTouch with her own money and it is definitely in the top five of parenting decisions I regret. While your restrictions sound reasonable on their face, in my experience you would wind up forever restricting, allowing, and taking away the device. You will spend way too much time monitoring its use. Peer usage - which is much higher than what you (and I) want - will play a significant role as well.

The iTouch will open your DD's world to Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, sexting, unsupervised internet use, excessive texting, and the new idea that something didn't happen unless you have a selfie to prove it.

My takeaway: don't buy or allow any device unless you are willing to allow almost complete functionality of it (other than putting it away at a certain time each night, leaving it at home on certain family outings, etc.) If you don't think your child can be responsible with the games, camera, internet, etc. yet, don't buy it yet.

[Anonymous]

What's an itouch?

[Anonymous]

I would go to the apple store and ask them. My daughter is too young for any of this yet but I do expect to be like you when she is 12.

[Anonymous]

iTouch is nails on a chalkboard to me.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't she use an iPad now (yours, I presume). If so, how would this be different?

[Anonymous]

There is always a way kids can get around restrictions.

As a parent, I would feel free to set any restrictions you wish on electronics, however, you also need to have a discussion with your kid about what's acceptable and why.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am considering it for her big bday present. Over the next couple of years, I'd ease up on the restrictions, if she shows responsible use. I see it as something she could use for the next 2-3 years, and so would get my money's worth, could buy itunes gift cards for xmas, etc.

She has a screen contract, though we don't really monitor her screen time in the living room. Much of her homework is online, and she chats online with friends, listens to music, posts on social media. I have an ipad 2 1st gen which is super slow and password protected; she'd rather be on the desktop computer unless we're traveling.

13:09, you brought up a lot of things I worry about. She hasn't even asked for this, so maybe I should just hold off.

[Anonymous]

It's called an iPod touch. Most just call it an iPod.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for planning to use restrictions on the device. Too many parents just give their kids devices with no restrictions at all and have no idea what a Pandora's box they are opening. And they probably will never know because their kids will never tell them.

It's not a problem to keep a restrictions passcode on there. She can approach you with ideas for apps she would like to add. I highly recommend Common Sense Media as a site with great reviews of apps to give you an idea of which ones would be appropriate for her maturity level.

[Anonymous]

How are you going to help her make the right choices by giving no options? Just curious.

I have a 13 year old. She doesn't have any restrictions enabled on her phone or laptop. More than half of her homework and testing is done by computer. Her teachers accept reports via google docs. She needs a computer. She doesn't need me hovering and making decisions for her.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the helpful replies. She would have options sometimes, just not all the time. Like I said, I would ease up restrictions during non-school times, but use of the restrictions during school times would ensure that the device would be less of a distraction from schoolwork. And there would be fewer restrictions as she grows older and more responsible.

For those of you who have no restrictions, aren't you concerned about your kids googling anything and everything without you knowing? For example, if a kid googles "decapitation" or sexual slang just out of curiosity, all kinds of disturbing things pop up in texts, images, and videos. Some things once seen, cannot be unseen. I still have some pretty vivid memories of images from childhood, and my daughter had nightmares a few years ago after a sleepover when they dared each other to watch the scariest youtube video they could find. Maybe some of you think this is a good way to learn a lesson and start a discussion, but personally, I think it might not be worth having the worst of these images stuck in her head at this impressionable age. I think a computer in a public area can inhibit it these kinds of internet searches, but a kid would not feel the same level of inhibition on a personal device.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am considering it for her big bday present. Over the next couple of years, I'd ease up on the restrictions, if she shows responsible use. I see it as something she could use for the next 2-3 years, and so would get my money's worth, could buy itunes gift cards for xmas, etc.

She has a screen contract, though we don't really monitor her screen time in the living room. Much of her homework is online, and she chats online with friends, listens to music, posts on social media. I have an ipad 2 1st gen which is super slow and password protected; she'd rather be on the desktop computer unless we're traveling.

13:09, you brought up a lot of things I worry about. She hasn't even asked for this, so maybe I should just hold off.

Sounds like a crappy present if she can't use it. Just buy the nano.

[Anonymous]

I would just buy the nano too. Give her the ipod when you feel she can use it responsibly.