Not sure where to put mother's ashes, hoping for suggestions.
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Anonymous
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My father has kept her ashes but recently sold his home and put everything in storage. He wants to downsize and move in with his gf and mentioned me getting our photos and her urn out of his storage. She passed away in 2005, and I feel terrible its been packed in a box in a dark storage container. I wasn't even thinking about it, I'll admit.
But now I don't know what to do with it. Where do people put the urns? My brother doesn't want it, and my little brother lives with DH and I. I wasn't sure where to post this so I hope it's okay to post here. I feel terrible her final resting place is undecided. |
Anonymous
Can you spread them in a place she held dear? |
Anonymous
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There are cemeteries that will inter urns. Also, if there is a grave site for a relative, some cemeteries will allow you to inter an urn on the same site.
Alternatively, you can spread her ashes some place she liked to visit. Check with local regulations b/c it is illegal to spread ashes in some places. |
Anonymous
| She loved the beach and I originally wanted to have a ceremony for her to spread her ashes on the beach with her loved ones, but she passed unexpectedly from a suicide and there was a lot of blame and anger being tossed around. It never felt right to plan something with the anger. I guess I always wanted to keep the ashes and try to plan something in the "future" hoping that time would give people perspective. The thought of having her up on a shelf though doesn't seem very nice either. Frustrating situation. I just worry her spirit will be uneasy since she's not put to rest. |
Anonymous
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You should have the beach scattering ceremony if it will give you closure. If you can't gather all of her loved ones because of lingering bad feelings, just invite those who can come. Would it be too weird to video it for those who can't be there?
We're Catholic and cremation is an increasingly popular choice in our family for economic reasons. The Church allows this, but requires that the ashes be interred. |
Anonymous
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My mom and dad are sitting in a velvet bag they share atop the fridge. I used to keep them on the piano. Place the ashes anywhere you're comfortable with---anywhere at all. My parents kept two of my uncles in their walk-in closet until I convinced them to take them to a family reunion and bury them in the family lot. I plan on doing the same the next time I'm in the area. In the meantime, my parents are part of my everyday routine. They wouldn't have minded one bit. |
Anonymous
Big wow. Spread them anyway. |
Anonymous
| There are lots of sites online where you can turn the ashes into artwork, usually blown into glass sculptures. |
Anonymous
| Does Catholic Church law allow interment by lay individuals or does a priest have to be there? The Orthodox Church still insists on interment of the body. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
| She choose cremation, but that doesn't mean she can't have a headstone in a cemetery with her ashes buried there. I would probably do that. If it's been THIS long with no decision on what to do .. |
Anonymous
This just sounds too creepy. What if it breaks? "Mom always says, "Don't play ball in the house.' " |
Anonymous
| Just keep them at home. |
Anonymous
| You can bury them in a cemetery or place them in a special mausoleum for cremated remains. Or scatter them. |
Anonymous
| I say have a private ceremony where you scatter them at the beach. You don't need to involve anyone else unless you want to. |